Call to Action: Help create a safe learning environment for medically fragile students

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds horrible but I would be devastated and not really onboard if I were asked to mask my kindergartener. 5 year olds don't mask very well, it would be super distracting for the teacher to enforce, and this age is such a critical time in kids' social development. We had a really bad experience with masking our child when she was 2. She is older now but has been through a lot.

It doesn’t sound horrible, it sounds ridiculous. “DEVASTATED.” You have trauma from
this. You should deal with that trauma instead of pointing it at other people.

DP. I wouldn't use the term "devastated", but I'd be angry, concerned, and frustrated if my child ended up in a classroom there they tried to institute a masking requirement.

OP isn't asking for anyone's kid to "end up" in a classroom with a mask requirement. She's asking that the county identify a group of children who have documented medical reasons to mask, and whose parents choose to have them wear masks consistently, and to place those kids in the same classroom, presumably including allowing kids to transfer schools to make this happen.

Kids frequently transfer schools for disability related reasons. This would be one more reason a child might transfer schools.

And how would they deal with transportation? Special buses that pick up kids across wide areas where the kids will be required to mask?
What about lunch? Will the school need to set up a separate room for them? What about group services? Will SLPs, etc., need to keep the masking cohort separate from the non-masking students? And how would you deal with the kids in those classes that ultimately wouldn't be willing or able to keep a mask on all day?

There's no way to do what the OP is asking that would be both practical and meaningfully effective.

Actually transportation is the least of the issues. The county is really good at special transportation arrangements. My kid went to a non mainstream program and had his own bus that picked him up at the house every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds horrible but I would be devastated and not really onboard if I were asked to mask my kindergartener. 5 year olds don't mask very well, it would be super distracting for the teacher to enforce, and this age is such a critical time in kids' social development. We had a really bad experience with masking our child when she was 2. She is older now but has been through a lot.

It doesn’t sound horrible, it sounds ridiculous. “DEVASTATED.” You have trauma from
this. You should deal with that trauma instead of pointing it at other people.

DP. I wouldn't use the term "devastated", but I'd be angry, concerned, and frustrated if my child ended up in a classroom there they tried to institute a masking requirement.

OP isn't asking for anyone's kid to "end up" in a classroom with a mask requirement. She's asking that the county identify a group of children who have documented medical reasons to mask, and whose parents choose to have them wear masks consistently, and to place those kids in the same classroom, presumably including allowing kids to transfer schools to make this happen.

Kids frequently transfer schools for disability related reasons. This would be one more reason a child might transfer schools.

And how would they deal with transportation? Special buses that pick up kids across wide areas where the kids will be required to mask?
What about lunch? Will the school need to set up a separate room for them? What about group services? Will SLPs, etc., need to keep the masking cohort separate from the non-masking students? And how would you deal with the kids in those classes that ultimately wouldn't be willing or able to keep a mask on all day?

There's no way to do what the OP is asking that would be both practical and meaningfully effective.

I would gladly drive my kid to a masked classroom if it would keep OP and all our kids healthier.

Is that your way of acknowledging that it wouldn't actually keep anyone healthier in practice?

[Anonymous]

It won’t keep anyone healthier. We have zero evidence that masking young children keeps them from getting sick. They wear unapproved masks, unlike fit-tested N95s that medical professionals wear. They often wear them improperly due to fit issues and being young children (and even adults rarely wear masks well with fidelity.) Most people had the experience of kids getting sick while being required to mask. It’s a fool’s errand.

[Anonymous]

Not OP, but many of you actually suck. OP has tried all kinds of things for her medically fragile kid. Presumably has heard from the kids actual doctors, has asked for support, and instead of doing that, or just ignoring her pleas, you sh*t on her plans.

She, like any responsible parent, is doing the best she can to advocate for HER kid. There's no need to be such jerks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but many of you actually suck. OP has tried all kinds of things for her medically fragile kid. Presumably has heard from the kids actual doctors, has asked for support, and instead of doing that, or just ignoring her pleas, you sh*t on her plans.

She, like any responsible parent, is doing the best she can to advocate for HER kid. There's no need to be such jerks

It's hard to know who this is directed at but it sounds like anyone who isn't supportive of the idea is a "jerk"? I sympathize with OP but there are a lot of issues with it. I actually question if she has consulted a doctor about this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It won’t keep anyone healthier. We have zero evidence that masking young children keeps them from getting sick. They wear unapproved masks, unlike fit-tested N95s that medical professionals wear. They often wear them improperly due to fit issues and being young children (and even adults rarely wear masks well with fidelity.) Most people had the experience of kids getting sick while being required to mask. It’s a fool’s errand.

+1 this

If the goal is for the kids in the program never to get a respiratory infection, this will not achieve that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but many of you actually suck. OP has tried all kinds of things for her medically fragile kid. Presumably has heard from the kids actual doctors, has asked for support, and instead of doing that, or just ignoring her pleas, you sh*t on her plans.

She, like any responsible parent, is doing the best she can to advocate for HER kid. There's no need to be such jerks

Why do you assume she talked to her kid's doctor about this? I haven't seen any reason to believe that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds horrible but I would be devastated and not really onboard if I were asked to mask my kindergartener. 5 year olds don't mask very well, it would be super distracting for the teacher to enforce, and this age is such a critical time in kids' social development. We had a really bad experience with masking our child when she was 2. She is older now but has been through a lot.

It really is a critical time for their social development. Imagine if you were in OP’s shoes and had to hear so many people telling you that the best solution is to keep an “eager student” at home.

And at the same time - isn’t empathy and compassion an important part of social development? Kids want to help others, and they understand more than we give them credit for. If it’s approached as “here is this thing we can do to protect a friend in our community” and they make it part of the daily routine and make it fun with little songs, etc, like we do with hand washing and listening, it could work and not be traumatic.

That doesn't change the fact that masks obscure people's faces and studies have clearly shown that affects children's ability to interpret emotions.

I sympathize with OP and her child. I think it's a really tough situation. But other people's children matter too, so there needs to be a very clear, dramatic benefit to masking 5 year olds. Compassion and empathy extend to everyone. I am not convinced there is one.

There are studies showing that kids learn fine with masks. Brains are plastic and plasticity is highest at younger ages. How do you suppose blind people learn to speak and socialize?

And kids are generally awesome. If you asked your kid if they would mind wearing a mask at school *to protect a vulnerable classmate* so that classmate could also be at school to learn and play with them, what do you think he might say?

I’m stuck by the comment that “compassion and empathy extend to everyone.” Does it? Or only to those who don’t need anything? Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” I imagine OP’s kiddo doesn’t t like masking either, but it sounds like it’s necessary for her safe access to society right now.

I would happily ask my kid to mask in a classroom with OP’s kid. I would enjoy the reduced illnesses and relish the opportunity to show my kid what love and compassion really look like.

If you don’t share that perspective, then ok, but why try to shut it down for them? Why not just ask for your kid to be in a different classroom?

I will send an email expressing support for better avenues to bring vulnerable kids in-person.

The OP seems to believe that universal masking is necessary to provide a "safe" environment, but there is no reason to believe that is factually correct. Besides a lack of evidence regarding mask efficacy, most young kids (and adults, for that matter) do not keep high quality masks on appropriately for extended periods of time.

This. My DD picked up Covid at school (as did several classmates) while masks were still required and they were actually doing some extended spacing at lunchtime. The OP would not be able to rely on masks alone to protect their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this sounds horrible but I would be devastated and not really onboard if I were asked to mask my kindergartener. 5 year olds don't mask very well, it would be super distracting for the teacher to enforce, and this age is such a critical time in kids' social development. We had a really bad experience with masking our child when she was 2. She is older now but has been through a lot.

It really is a critical time for their social development. Imagine if you were in OP’s shoes and had to hear so many people telling you that the best solution is to keep an “eager student” at home.

And at the same time - isn’t empathy and compassion an important part of social development? Kids want to help others, and they understand more than we give them credit for. If it’s approached as “here is this thing we can do to protect a friend in our community” and they make it part of the daily routine and make it fun with little songs, etc, like we do with hand washing and listening, it could work and not be traumatic.

That doesn't change the fact that masks obscure people's faces and studies have clearly shown that affects children's ability to interpret emotions.

I sympathize with OP and her child. I think it's a really tough situation. But other people's children matter too, so there needs to be a very clear, dramatic benefit to masking 5 year olds. Compassion and empathy extend to everyone. I am not convinced there is one.

There are studies showing that kids learn fine with masks. Brains are plastic and plasticity is highest at younger ages. How do you suppose blind people learn to speak and socialize?

And kids are generally awesome. If you asked your kid if they would mind wearing a mask at school *to protect a vulnerable classmate* so that classmate could also be at school to learn and play with them, what do you think he might say?

I’m stuck by the comment that “compassion and empathy extend to everyone.” Does it? Or only to those who don’t need anything? Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” I imagine OP’s kiddo doesn’t t like masking either, but it sounds like it’s necessary for her safe access to society right now.

I would happily ask my kid to mask in a classroom with OP’s kid. I would enjoy the reduced illnesses and relish the opportunity to show my kid what love and compassion really look like.

If you don’t share that perspective, then ok, but why try to shut it down for them? Why not just ask for your kid to be in a different classroom?

I will send an email expressing support for better avenues to bring vulnerable kids in-person.

The OP seems to believe that universal masking is necessary to provide a "safe" environment, but there is no reason to believe that is factually correct. Besides a lack of evidence regarding mask efficacy, most young kids (and adults, for that matter) do not keep high quality masks on appropriately for extended periods of time.

This. My DD picked up Covid at school (as did several classmates) while masks were still required and they were actually doing some extended spacing at lunchtime. The OP would not be able to rely on masks alone to protect their child.

This is what I don't get about posts like these. Masking only has about a 20% efficacy at preventing transmissions. At a population level, that's significant. So, if you're concerned about overflowing hospitals, I get the argument for masking. But a 20% risk reduction isn't enough to make an otherwise unacceptably dangerous activity safe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand that this is a rather novel concept and requires a significant amount of creativity, work, and resourcing in order to work. And maybe as a whole it’s not the end solution that can be feasible and acceptable for all involved. But when you have a child that has such a drive to learn and be in school but can’t, because of a genetic condition that makes her particularly vulnerable to Covid, you have to try something. And hopefully, with help from other interested parents, this conversation can go some where and give her the access to a full education that she, and all kids, deserve.

For all the good faith discussion, even those critiquing the idea, I thank you. My end goal isn’t to achieve a particular idea but rather to give her access. So if this idea needs to just be a starting point then so be it.

For all those questioning my motivation and honest plea for help, especially with personal attacks, perhaps your time is better spent reflecting on how you treat the vulnerable among us and less on trying to anonymously tear others down on an Internet forum.

Did your child’s doctor say they can’t go to school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I completely understand that this is a rather novel concept and requires a significant amount of creativity, work, and resourcing in order to work. And maybe as a whole it’s not the end solution that can be feasible and acceptable for all involved. But when you have a child that has such a drive to learn and be in school but can’t, because of a genetic condition that makes her particularly vulnerable to Covid, you have to try something. And hopefully, with help from other interested parents, this conversation can go some where and give her the access to a full education that she, and all kids, deserve.

For all the good faith discussion, even those critiquing the idea, I thank you. My end goal isn’t to achieve a particular idea but rather to give her access. So if this idea needs to just be a starting point then so be it.

For all those questioning my motivation and honest plea for help, especially with personal attacks, perhaps your time is better spent reflecting on how you treat the vulnerable among us and less on trying to anonymously tear others down on an Internet forum.

Hello OP. I have older children, so my perspective on this is useless. Nonetheless, I cannot fathom wanting desperately to send my five-year-old to school and feeling that I cannot. I am curious what her medical team says? Does the risk of COVID to her truly outweigh the benefit of in-person schooling? Does her medical team truly believe that there is a risk of severe complications from COVID, even when fully vaccinated? I think answers to those questions may help garner a little more sympathy from other school-aged parents. Everyone was so scared during COVID, but with vaccinations, it is so hard for most of us to understand or believe that the risk is that great anymore. My adult daughter works at a center in NoVa for extremely disabled teens and young adults. Many have genetic conditions and syndromes that do put them at higher risk, but even there they no longer require masks. The importance of communication to these students is just too great. I have no doubt that you have done much of your own research and are doing everything you can to advocate so importantly for your daughter. But have you considered just letting your guard down a bit? Also, I do not believe IDEA includes the word "safe," which you included in your claim earlier in the thread. Of course, safety at school should be implied, but as you know, the act can only do so much.

[Anonymous]

OP, your letter does not mention whether a medical professional has recommended this plan. It is also odd that it only mentions COVID as the danger when there are so many other illnesses that put immunocompromised children at risk. Honestly it reads like a letter from someone who wants COVID restrictions forever, not someone who is concerned about specific children's needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your letter does not mention whether a medical professional has recommended this plan. It is also odd that it only mentions COVID as the danger when there are so many other illnesses that put immunocompromised children at risk. Honestly it reads like a letter from someone who wants COVID restrictions forever, not someone who is concerned about specific children's needs.

Also, it isn't clear whether the child was vaccinated. I was unable to find a response from the OP to this question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your letter does not mention whether a medical professional has recommended this plan. It is also odd that it only mentions COVID as the danger when there are so many other illnesses that put immunocompromised children at risk. Honestly it reads like a letter from someone who wants COVID restrictions forever, not someone who is concerned about specific children's needs.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. A lot of mean responses here. I kind of hope you’ve stopped reading them for the sake of your mental health.

Here’s the thing. Teachers and admin are worn down. Parents are worn down. Most people feel like the system is understaffed. So they won’t say this to your face, but no they don’t support setting up bubble classrooms because the system can’t handle its current needs. So that’s why people are not supportive. I agree with a previous poster, if you really want to push this you need a lawyer.

Can she join the VA of another county or state and MoCo pay for it?

Your daughter is so fortunate to have you as her mom. Good luck to you.