Grandparents insist on taking my kids’ first class seats

[Anonymous]

I’d guilt my teens into giving up the seats for sure. I mean come on. It’s a good message for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

I’m sorry, OP, but you really sound like an awful person. And why did you invite your parents in the first place if you hold them in such obvious contempt?

[Anonymous]

Tell your parents to upgrade their tickets to premium economy, and then the kids can sit in those. Those seats may not lie flat, but they’re bigger and more comfortable than regular economy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids would have offered to give up their seats on their own.

Things people say who have never been in the position.

Well, I was in a similar position, but no kids. DH and I gave up our seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

Ugh OP, I know EXACTLY what you are talking about with this secrecy around money. Best thing you can do is set pretty strict boundaries around money (what you feel comfortable with and is sustainable without you feeling taken advantage of), communicate those expectations lovingly but firmly, and then sticking to them. It's hard but the only thing that will work long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids would have offered to give up their seats on their own.

Things people say who have never been in the position.

Well, I was in a similar position, but no kids. DH and I gave up our seats.

+1. Maybe OP and the kid who has manners can give up their seats. Otherwise I’m having a hard time wondering why OP invited her parents in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Going on a family vacation + cruise later this summer to Greek Isles. Originally booked for myself, DH, and our two kids (16 and 14). We invited my parents a few months ago and they decided to join us. Our family booked 4 first class seats IAD-ATH using FF miles on United (DH is Global Services on United and got a good deal) and my parents ended up booking 2 coach seats in cash many months later (no status). Well, yesterday my parents decided they wouldn’t go on the trip unless they flew first class and that our kids don’t need to fly first class and we should allow them to switch. My dad even offered to give each of my kids $50 to move from first to coach so that they could have lie flat seating transatlantic.

DH is super annoyed. My parents are being real jerks about this and how kids don’t need first class and my dad’s back aches so he totally needs first class. What do I do?

Would you be comfortable sitting in first class with your kids if parents were in main cabin?

This is the question you should be asking yourself. If the answer is yes, you have bigger problems than who sits where.

Looks like a teachable moment for your kids.

I'd be fine with it. People should buy the tickets they want, even old people. They shouldn't expect others to give up their seats for them. Baby Boomers have a bottomless pit of entitlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

OP— your parents have the right to blow through their inheritance. If you don’t want to pay for them, then don’t invite them!!! What’s going to happen once you’re at the destination? Will you always have separate checks? Will you be counting every penny? How is that a vacation??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids would have offered to give up their seats on their own.

Things people say who have never been in the position.

Well, I was in a similar position, but no kids. DH and I gave up our seats.

+1. Maybe OP and the kid who has manners can give up their seats. Otherwise I’m having a hard time wondering why OP invited her parents in the first place.

Because she thought the parents would also buy business class tix. Her husband got the hotels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids would have offered to give up their seats on their own.

Things people say who have never been in the position.

Well, I was in a similar position, but no kids. DH and I gave up our seats.

Not the same at all. I'd give up my seats for my parents. I would not give up my kids seats.

[Anonymous]

It’s economy, not cargo. The grandparents will survive. If they truly *needed* business class, they would have paid for it. They’re freeloaders. And I bet they are not 85.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

I’m sorry, OP, but you really sound like an awful person. And why did you invite your parents in the first place if you hold them in such obvious contempt?

Okay, but I really would love for my children to experience a memorable vacation with extended family before it is too late. We travel a lot as a family of four, but there is something magical about a multi-generational trip that includes both children and grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

OP— your parents have the right to blow through their inheritance. If you don’t want to pay for them, then don’t invite them!!! What’s going to happen once you’re at the destination? Will you always have separate checks? Will you be counting every penny? How is that a vacation??

Once they are at the destination OP is paying for the hotels - is that not enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - can you parents reasonably afford to upgrade?

OP here. I really don’t know. Money is super secretive with my parents. On the one hand, we were squarely middle class growing up. Dad was military, very controlling. Then, my grandfather (lawyer who owned his own law firm) passed away 15 years ago and left millions to each of his 3 kids, including my mom. There was a lot of extravagant spending for years, but not so much now. Don’t know if my parents are struggling financially and want DH and I to help pay for things or if they’re just milking us for all we’re worth.

I’m sorry, OP, but you really sound like an awful person. And why did you invite your parents in the first place if you hold them in such obvious contempt?

Okay, but I really would love for my children to experience a memorable vacation with extended family before it is too late. We travel a lot as a family of four, but there is something magical about a multi-generational trip that includes both children and grandparents.

No, there isn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s economy, not cargo. The grandparents will survive. If they truly *needed* business class, they would have paid for it. They’re freeloaders. And I bet they are not 85.

Right? It's not that the OP is dining first class on the titanic and sending her parents to steerage. And come ON people, it's what - a 6 hour flight?