Sending kid to an English boarding school starting around age 10?

[Anonymous]

How about a US boarding school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP, is your child an elite athlete? I've known families who sent a child (age 12+) to boarding school or to train for a sport... figure skating, hockey, gymnastics.

I'll considered sending my son to a boarding/prep high school only if he stays on target to become a D1 recruit.

Sent both of mine. They loved it, but be aware they might switch sports! (One did, but both went D1, one to the Big10)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend went to Roedean from age 12 to 14. It was obvious that she had a terrible experience. To this day she will not speak about what happened to her there.

Friends with Rodean girl as well. She went on high school and loved it. Her friend who went in middle school hated it.

Have family to went to boarding school from a young age. The younger they were the more emotionally stunted they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as there’s somewhere to go for exeat … you can’t leave them at school for exeat.
I went to cheltenham ladies college and loved it, but 1. I’m British so there was no culture shock, and 2. I was 4 hours from home the whole time. International girls seemed to find it harder.

Teens need more input and advice and just support from parents than little kids. You are giving up that time and those needs they have to a stranger whom they will probably never talk to again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about a US boarding school?

The cases I am familiar with fall into one of two buckets, but neither is really a happy story. YMMV.

(A) Parents were divorced or separated, and not able to cooperate on much, so children were sent to boarding around 8th/9th grade. Kids were usually well educated at boarding school, but often felt a very crisp sense of “not being wanted” by their parents.

(B) Parents were strivers (and sometimes also were immigrants) and sent their DC to Deerfield, St Grottlesex, PEA, or similar NE boarding school to try to get kids into an Ivy. Kids who got into an Ivy felt successful, but often felt isolated / were not well socially integrated with the other (e.g., legacy) students during boarding school. Kids who did that but did not get into an Ivy felt like failures, in addition to having lived HS while a bit isolated socially from most other students. Parents of kids who did not get into an Ivy were often upset with children for failing to get into an Ivy.

[Anonymous]

OP,

What problem are you trying to solve with boarding school ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about a US boarding school?

The cases I am familiar with fall into one of two buckets, but neither is really a happy story. YMMV.

(A) Parents were divorced or separated, and not able to cooperate on much, so children were sent to boarding around 8th/9th grade. Kids were usually well educated at boarding school, but often felt a very crisp sense of “not being wanted” by their parents.

(B) Parents were strivers (and sometimes also were immigrants) and sent their DC to Deerfield, St Grottlesex, PEA, or similar NE boarding school to try to get kids into an Ivy. Kids who got into an Ivy felt successful, but often felt isolated / were not well socially integrated with the other (e.g., legacy) students during boarding school. Kids who did that but did not get into an Ivy felt like failures, in addition to having lived HS while a bit isolated socially from most other students. Parents of kids who did not get into an Ivy were often upset with children for failing to get into an Ivy.

I would add a category C for kids whose parents have high profile or some other demanding form of careers and aren't able to parent them full time . So in this case boarding school beats nanny (or team of nannies). But for the rest of the world...I concur with the PP who said that even Hogwarts doesn't start til age 11 (best post on the thread!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mallory Towers?

😏

[Anonymous]

I lived in the UK for a few years. There is a huge discussion of "Boarding School Syndrome", which is believed to be characterized by lack of empathy and difficulties forming relationships. It isn't an official diagnosis, and there hasn't been a lot of research. What people do note is that the Conservative Party MPs who have been running the country for 14 years seem to have a distinct lack of empathy, and they are largely boarding school alums.

I think it is difficult to learn to be a functioning person if you are doing most of your learning from other tweens. It is your parents' example of adulthood that you learn from.

[Anonymous]

Sad. Just flat out sad. I have three friends that were put in boarding school young. And they resent that their parents did that. Not enough love. Thrown into the real world way too soon without the loving support, experience, and knowledge passed on through their parents. Two spent a fortune on therapy sessions to get to the well-adjusted adults they are now. They also act differently because they didn’t come from a nurturing family environment when that’s what they were seeking. It was cruel. I would consider high school maybe for boarding in Switzerland, but not a ten year old. God be with your son or daughter. They don’t deserve you if you put them in. Boarding school so young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in the UK for a few years. There is a huge discussion of "Boarding School Syndrome", which is believed to be characterized by lack of empathy and difficulties forming relationships. It isn't an official diagnosis, and there hasn't been a lot of research. What people do note is that the Conservative Party MPs who have been running the country for 14 years seem to have a distinct lack of empathy, and they are largely boarding school alums.

I think it is difficult to learn to be a functioning person if you are doing most of your learning from other tweens. It is your parents' example of adulthood that you learn from.

My upper crust British friend sent her kid off to the best boarding school and then he went to Oxford or Cambridge or whatnot. She sounded wistful for the lost years, in retrospect. It seemed the only done option though, for the opportunities and to build the peer group. Shes making up for it with the grandbabies now. Kid is wildly successful in a predictable, lawyer career way.

[Anonymous]

My siblings and I, along with my cousins, went to boarding school, albeit not a British boarding school, but the closest, as we all attended boarding school in Jamaica (British education system). The reason our parents chose there was because that was where they were from. We all did well, but I do not think I would have done that to my children at 10. My sisters went together at 10 and 11 respectively, and my cousins, two years apart, at 11. I went with my twin brother also at 11, so it was not bad at all.

[Anonymous]

13 for Eton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13 for Eton.

This is where my friend sent her son.