Pooping at the playground

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm just reading this and realizing: this is one of the reasons potty training is so hard. People have such weirdly intense feelings about it, and so many people disagree. Like I've heard people say that a child in diapers over the age of 2 or 2.5 is "gross" -- it's a common attitude on here because people are very in favor of early training. But now we see people who think the portable potties are gross and inappropriate. Of course, if you train early, you pretty much have to use a portable potty, because as PP's have noted, kids that age can't hold it for however long it will take you to find a bathroom. And if you don't use a portable potty, you pretty much have to train later when your kid has more ability to wait for a potty when you are out of the house.

Maybe it's just that potty training involves poop and pee and is, by nature, kind of gross, and maybe we should all cut each other some slack instead of shaming one another for the somewhat unpleasant aspects of teaching our kids to put waste in a toilet? Like maybe diapers are kind of gross AND portable potties are kind of gross and everyone is just trying the best they can.

LOVE THIS perspective. Much of parenting is damned if you do, damned if you dont. We are all just trying our best and what seems to work for our particular kid and their temperament but also where, we, as parents are. Sometimes you dont have the bandwidth to be perfect or do the hard stuff. Sometimes the medium stuff works, even if it takes longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to get the urge to go every time I went to Barnes and Noble in my 20s. The playground is a poop trigger for your kid OP. Stop taking him for a while as others have suggested. And quit with carting the plastic potty around. Gross.

What is with this anti-plastic potty thing? It's so helpful when they are little and much less gross than having them wear diapers. OP, ignore these fools.

I have never seen this and honestly it's disgusting. I don't want to see anyone pooping in a public place. A kid pooping his pants regularly is not potty trained and needs a diaper.

I agree about the portable potty. It seems unnecessary. I have multiple kids and I have never seen anyone set up a portable potty in a public place like a playground. There are enough public bathrooms around I just don’t get the need. If your child has an accident at the playground (or anywhere) you go right home. They will learn to tell you they need to go in time to make it home or to a bathroom. Just bring a change of clothes with you for accidents. No big deal. In OPs case, he is only 2. I would just do the pull up at the playground for now. Revisit closer to 3. He will eventually stop on his own. This is developmental and he can’t help it. Don’t make poop a power struggle or point of tension.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried putting a slide and/or swing in your bathroom?

I love you, this is my favorite suggestion ever. You win the internet. (Unless you are being serious, in which case I will say my bathroom can't fit two people brushing their teeth at the same time, so no that is not an option we can try, but thanks!)

Get an exercise bar to fit your door, and hang a small swing from it (normal swing, not toddler, you want to be able to get him to the toilet quickly). Put it up and let him swing for a minute, then sit a minute. Swing a minute, then sit two minutes, swing two minutes, sit 5 minutes or until he poops. Once he poops, let him swing for 5 minutes.

Tell him that you'll put up the swing for 5 minutes anytime he poops on the toilet. If he poops in his underwear, HE has to wash them by hand and no swing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to get the urge to go every time I went to Barnes and Noble in my 20s. The playground is a poop trigger for your kid OP. Stop taking him for a while as others have suggested. And quit with carting the plastic potty around. Gross.

What is with this anti-plastic potty thing? It's so helpful when they are little and much less gross than having them wear diapers. OP, ignore these fools.

I do think the portable potties are gross for poop. I also think the push to potty train earlier and earlier, and to do it fast so that families can keep going out as much as possible, is what drives their popularity. We never used a portable potty because we stuck close to home when potty training and also didn't rush it -- we were just never in a position where my kid was young and inexperienced enough with potty training that they couldn't make it to a nearby bathroom to go. I didn't really consider her potty trained until she was capable of realizing she needed to go with enough warning for us to get to a bathroom. And yes, that meant that for a while we had to stick to playgrounds at rec centers with toilets, or close to home. It was like 6 months -- not a huge sacrifice.

The upside is that my kid never pooped herself at the playground. YMMV.

Are you kidding? No, the recent push is to wait and stay home, not potty train your kids young.

FWIW, I potty train between 18 and 24 months. My family trained 12 to 18 months. I don't work with kids who are 24 months or older if they're not already trained or I'm not allowed to do it asap.

~nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to get the urge to go every time I went to Barnes and Noble in my 20s. The playground is a poop trigger for your kid OP. Stop taking him for a while as others have suggested. And quit with carting the plastic potty around. Gross.

What is with this anti-plastic potty thing? It's so helpful when they are little and much less gross than having them wear diapers. OP, ignore these fools.

I do think the portable potties are gross for poop. I also think the push to potty train earlier and earlier, and to do it fast so that families can keep going out as much as possible, is what drives their popularity. We never used a portable potty because we stuck close to home when potty training and also didn't rush it -- we were just never in a position where my kid was young and inexperienced enough with potty training that they couldn't make it to a nearby bathroom to go. I didn't really consider her potty trained until she was capable of realizing she needed to go with enough warning for us to get to a bathroom. And yes, that meant that for a while we had to stick to playgrounds at rec centers with toilets, or close to home. It was like 6 months -- not a huge sacrifice.

The upside is that my kid never pooped herself at the playground. YMMV.

Are you kidding? No, the recent push is to wait and stay home, not potty train your kids young.

FWIW, I potty train between 18 and 24 months. My family trained 12 to 18 months. I don't work with kids who are 24 months or older if they're not already trained or I'm not allowed to do it asap.

~nanny

+1. Training early is so much better for the kids. And I love the travel potties!
-another nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to get the urge to go every time I went to Barnes and Noble in my 20s. The playground is a poop trigger for your kid OP. Stop taking him for a while as others have suggested. And quit with carting the plastic potty around. Gross.

What is with this anti-plastic potty thing? It's so helpful when they are little and much less gross than having them wear diapers. OP, ignore these fools.

I do think the portable potties are gross for poop. I also think the push to potty train earlier and earlier, and to do it fast so that families can keep going out as much as possible, is what drives their popularity. We never used a portable potty because we stuck close to home when potty training and also didn't rush it -- we were just never in a position where my kid was young and inexperienced enough with potty training that they couldn't make it to a nearby bathroom to go. I didn't really consider her potty trained until she was capable of realizing she needed to go with enough warning for us to get to a bathroom. And yes, that meant that for a while we had to stick to playgrounds at rec centers with toilets, or close to home. It was like 6 months -- not a huge sacrifice.

The upside is that my kid never pooped herself at the playground. YMMV.

Are you kidding? No, the recent push is to wait and stay home, not potty train your kids young.

FWIW, I potty train between 18 and 24 months. My family trained 12 to 18 months. I don't work with kids who are 24 months or older if they're not already trained or I'm not allowed to do it asap.

~nanny

My sense is that you are not from the US. In the US, somewhere between 2 and 3 has been the standard for decades. It was probably younger before disposable diapers became so cheap, but in the last 30 years or so, it has been normal for people to start sometimes after 2 but before 3. Plenty of kids train after 3. And that's not a recent trend. It was how my mom approach potty training in the 70s and 80s, as well as pretty much every mom in our neighborhood.

But in the last 10 years or so, the push to train earlier and to train via "bootcamp" has really taken off. Oh Crap! was published in 2011, and that's part of it. Before that, parents just kind of assumed potty training was a process that would take at least a few months and up to a year, and there was less pressure to get it done. The main pressure would be from preschools that wouldn't allow kids with diapers, so parents planning to send kids at 3 would want to get it done before then. This pressure is compounded by more childcare workers immigrating from countries where early training and elimination communication are the standard, and encouraging or teaching kids in their charge to train earlier. But in the US, this is a relatively recent phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to get the urge to go every time I went to Barnes and Noble in my 20s. The playground is a poop trigger for your kid OP. Stop taking him for a while as others have suggested. And quit with carting the plastic potty around. Gross.

What is with this anti-plastic potty thing? It's so helpful when they are little and much less gross than having them wear diapers. OP, ignore these fools.

I do think the portable potties are gross for poop. I also think the push to potty train earlier and earlier, and to do it fast so that families can keep going out as much as possible, is what drives their popularity. We never used a portable potty because we stuck close to home when potty training and also didn't rush it -- we were just never in a position where my kid was young and inexperienced enough with potty training that they couldn't make it to a nearby bathroom to go. I didn't really consider her potty trained until she was capable of realizing she needed to go with enough warning for us to get to a bathroom. And yes, that meant that for a while we had to stick to playgrounds at rec centers with toilets, or close to home. It was like 6 months -- not a huge sacrifice.

The upside is that my kid never pooped herself at the playground. YMMV.

Are you kidding? No, the recent push is to wait and stay home, not potty train your kids young.

FWIW, I potty train between 18 and 24 months. My family trained 12 to 18 months. I don't work with kids who are 24 months or older if they're not already trained or I'm not allowed to do it asap.

~nanny

My sense is that you are not from the US. In the US, somewhere between 2 and 3 has been the standard for decades. It was probably younger before disposable diapers became so cheap, but in the last 30 years or so, it has been normal for people to start sometimes after 2 but before 3. Plenty of kids train after 3. And that's not a recent trend. It was how my mom approach potty training in the 70s and 80s, as well as pretty much every mom in our neighborhood.

But in the last 10 years or so, the push to train earlier and to train via "bootcamp" has really taken off. Oh Crap! was published in 2011, and that's part of it. Before that, parents just kind of assumed potty training was a process that would take at least a few months and up to a year, and there was less pressure to get it done. The main pressure would be from preschools that wouldn't allow kids with diapers, so parents planning to send kids at 3 would want to get it done before then. This pressure is compounded by more childcare workers immigrating from countries where early training and elimination communication are the standard, and encouraging or teaching kids in their charge to train earlier. But in the US, this is a relatively recent phenomenon.

I am the 2nd nanny on this thread and American born and raised. In the higher income world, most kids are now potty trained around two.

My method isn’t boot camp. It’s a very calm modification on Oh Crap and has never taken more than a few weeks - and the vast majority of those days were just routine accidents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"You can't go to the playground until you start pooping in the potty"

I would try that. Although he seems to hold it for days. Is a bit of miralax safe at this age?

[Anonymous]

Parents wait way too long IMO. Using the potty should be a process that starts well before 2 years of age. Start early don't stress the kid out. Where I am from, the practice used to be that kids were potty trained by age 2. My own kids were potty trained before they turned 2. I didn't have to read a book or buy a travel potty or whatever. We never had 1 poop accident. Let's not act like a 2.5 year old is not able to learn to control his bowels. Of course if you bring a potty everywhere, you are not helping him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents wait way too long IMO. Using the potty should be a process that starts well before 2 years of age. Start early don't stress the kid out. Where I am from, the practice used to be that kids were potty trained by age 2. My own kids were potty trained before they turned 2. I didn't have to read a book or buy a travel potty or whatever. We never had 1 poop accident. Let's not act like a 2.5 year old is not able to learn to control his bowels. Of course if you bring a potty everywhere, you are not helping him.

Lol to shaming both anyone whose kid isn’t potty trained by two AND anyone using a portable potty. Everyone is the worst!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents wait way too long IMO. Using the potty should be a process that starts well before 2 years of age. Start early don't stress the kid out. Where I am from, the practice used to be that kids were potty trained by age 2. My own kids were potty trained before they turned 2. I didn't have to read a book or buy a travel potty or whatever. We never had 1 poop accident. Let's not act like a 2.5 year old is not able to learn to control his bowels. Of course if you bring a potty everywhere, you are not helping him.

But the travel potty helps me enormously. Having three kids at the park and needing to keep eyes on all three while they’re playing is easier if I have the toddler use the travel potty rather than go home or use the gross public bathrooms with two older kids in tow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents wait way too long IMO. Using the potty should be a process that starts well before 2 years of age. Start early don't stress the kid out. Where I am from, the practice used to be that kids were potty trained by age 2. My own kids were potty trained before they turned 2. I didn't have to read a book or buy a travel potty or whatever. We never had 1 poop accident. Let's not act like a 2.5 year old is not able to learn to control his bowels. Of course if you bring a potty everywhere, you are not helping him.

You clearly didn’t take your kids out of your yard enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents wait way too long IMO. Using the potty should be a process that starts well before 2 years of age. Start early don't stress the kid out. Where I am from, the practice used to be that kids were potty trained by age 2. My own kids were potty trained before they turned 2. I didn't have to read a book or buy a travel potty or whatever. We never had 1 poop accident. Let's not act like a 2.5 year old is not able to learn to control his bowels. Of course if you bring a potty everywhere, you are not helping him.

Lol to shaming both anyone whose kid isn’t potty trained by two AND anyone using a portable potty. Everyone is the worst!

You call that shaming, I call it saying what I think. Parents start too late are generally too accommodating, anticipating each of their kid's need, removing the need for them to mobilize their own ressources).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents wait way too long IMO. Using the potty should be a process that starts well before 2 years of age. Start early don't stress the kid out. Where I am from, the practice used to be that kids were potty trained by age 2. My own kids were potty trained before they turned 2. I didn't have to read a book or buy a travel potty or whatever. We never had 1 poop accident. Let's not act like a 2.5 year old is not able to learn to control his bowels. Of course if you bring a potty everywhere, you are not helping him.

You clearly didn’t take your kids out of your yard enough.

What are you talking about. There was about a week where we stayed home when the pull ups came off. That's all. Plus I don't have a yard so we went to the park all the time.

[Anonymous]

The travel-potty-haters are so suburban! Don’t you guys ever take your little kids out hiking or biking on the beach? What about museums and art galleries where you can set the travel potty on the bathroom floor and not have your kid on a public toilet seat?

Do you haters ever go camping? If so, where to you relieve yourself?!

DH and his sister grew up in South Africa and would spend days camping and tracking with herds of elephants or other animals. Peeing on trees and digging a hole to defecate was a common occurrence. Adults and kids alike. I wanted to raise our kids with his sense of adventure but not pee or poop on land - so we use a travel potty for all of us when camping and always have the little travel potty for our toddler when we spend the day at a park or beach,

I have to laugh at the suburban parents who are so aghast on this thread!