Why are rich people, especially rich "soccer" moms so obsessed with...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

I don't think your "secret millionaire" status would be exposed by getting a huge dent on your 20 year old Toyota fixed, tbh. I don't personally care if you fix it, but if you did, no one in your social circle is going to run home to tell their spouse "hey did you see Bob finally got that giant dent fixed on old beater of his? he must secretly have a net worth of twenty million dollars, it's the only explanation."

Perhaps you can hoist your few neurons onto a more figurative, not literal, interpretation of what I wrote. I don't just drive an old beat-up car. I live an outwardly frugal lifestyle and live in a small house and don't judge others on externals. I do not care at all about how my car looks. The dent doesn't bother me at all. None of this is a sacrifice for me. I am independently wealthy and do not have any pressure to present a certain way for professional or social success. I live the life I want and teach my kids to do the same.

It sounds like you are experiencing wealth shame.

Ha. You're really intent on making me feel things I don't feel. Sorry to disappoint. Just accept that not everyone aspires to the glitz

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

I don't think your "secret millionaire" status would be exposed by getting a huge dent on your 20 year old Toyota fixed, tbh. I don't personally care if you fix it, but if you did, no one in your social circle is going to run home to tell their spouse "hey did you see Bob finally got that giant dent fixed on old beater of his? he must secretly have a net worth of twenty million dollars, it's the only explanation."

Perhaps you can hoist your few neurons onto a more figurative, not literal, interpretation of what I wrote. I don't just drive an old beat-up car. I live an outwardly frugal lifestyle and live in a small house and don't judge others on externals. I do not care at all about how my car looks. The dent doesn't bother me at all. None of this is a sacrifice for me. I am independently wealthy and do not have any pressure to present a certain way for professional or social success. I live the life I want and teach my kids to do the same.

It sounds like you are experiencing wealth shame.

Ha. You're really intent on making me feel things I don't feel. Sorry to disappoint. Just accept that not everyone aspires to the glitz

I'm new to this part of the discussion, but there is a difference between glitz and feeling worthy of driving a new, safe car with better technology or living in a comfortably sized home.

[Anonymous]

NP as well. Is a twenty yr old well-maintained car considered unsafe? Is your definition of comfortably sized the same as everyone else?

Yeah, no.

Not taking up all the space you can afford in this world is not a sign of mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

Sure you do sweetie. You’re a bored piss ant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

Sure you do sweetie. You’re a bored piss ant.

And you lack imagination.

- not the millionaire PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Driving a spotless, freshly-detailed car.
2. Refusing to drive a car with any physical damage, no matter how minor.

Example. We had friends over last night and the husband was teasing his wife for refusing to drive her SUV until he got it fixed because it had a huge scratch on it. You can tell she was raised in an affluent setting, very hoity-toity. It's not just her though, I remember hearing similar from my well-to-do grandmother about "not being caught dead" in a dirty or damaged car. And in the lineup at my children's private school, the cars are generally sparkling clean with glossy tires, and have no damage.

Where does this come from? Like they have a perception that dirty and/or dinged up cars are seen as low class?

That’s fine with me if my local car is dirty or has cosmetic imperfections. I’m a huge believer in stealth wealth. What my neighbors and not-so-close friends don’t know about is my ski house in Lake Tahoe and my vacation home in the USVI. It’s not smart to flaunt your wealth. You make yourself a target.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have $20M and drive a 20 year old Toyota Corolla. It has a long dent down one side when I was victim of a hit and run many years ago.

I believe in hiding one's wealth, so that I can make friends who aren't social climbers. Some of my relatives are *extremely* attached to appearances and material signs of wealth. I spent my childhood feeling disgusted by them, so I certainly don't want to socialize with anyone like this now.

Sure you do sweetie. You’re a bored piss ant.

I’ll call BS as well. Like most posts on DCUM, most of it is lies, especially when anonymous posters talk about their finances.

[Anonymous]

Are they all having them hand washed? You run the risk of getting your paint sratched or swirled if you're going through a car wash all the time. Unless it's touchless, i guess, though there could be some issues with those as well.

[Anonymous]

As someone who is slow to fix dents etc, let me put in a plug for getting them fixed early. They because worse over time (rust, etc)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:there is the notion that the way you take care of your possessions speaks to how you take care of yourself. While absolutely refusing to drive a car with a minor scratch may be a little absurd, it is a good character trait to keep your possessions living space clean and well maintained.

People that go around with broken phone screens and dented cars and dirty houses usually have underlying issues. The "broken" possessions are just outward signs.

What is the underlying issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP as well. Is a twenty yr old well-maintained car considered unsafe? Is your definition of comfortably sized the same as everyone else?

Yeah, no.

Not taking up all the space you can afford in this world is not a sign of mental illness.

Of course a 20 year old car is super unsafe. They don’t have rear view cameras, blind spot monitoring, emergency braking, airbag tech, crash standards, etc. Go use a 20 year old MacBook and tell me if it seems fine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We combined make 400K and one kid plays on three different soccer teams, so I think we qualify.

My car so badly needs a vacuum I cringe every time I get in it (though can't find the time to do the vacuuming in light of other priorities). Also, a reflector is held on with duct tape because it's too much effort to figure out how to get it fixed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I donno. I wouldn't consider myself rich, but I prefer my car to be clean and well-kept...for the same reason I brush my hair/teeth/wash my face/etc. before going out in public and wear clean, properly fitting clothes and dust the surfaces in my house and trim my fingernails and all that. I'm not obsessed with these things, but I tend towards presentability and neatness. Not trying to impress anyone, just what makes me feel good. *shrug*

This except I'm objectively rich. My parents (UMC dual working professionals) and my grandparents (poor immigrants with my grandmother working as a maid) were all the same. We've all been very organized and tidy, including keeping up with various kinds of "dings", whether to cars or homes, whether visible to outsiders or not. It's just the way we are and works well for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. Driving a spotless, freshly-detailed car.
2. Refusing to drive a car with any physical damage, no matter how minor.

Example. We had friends over last night and the husband was teasing his wife for refusing to drive her SUV until he got it fixed because it had a huge scratch on it. You can tell she was raised in an affluent setting, very hoity-toity. It's not just her though, I remember hearing similar from my well-to-do grandmother about "not being caught dead" in a dirty or damaged car. And in the lineup at my children's private school, the cars are generally sparkling clean with glossy tires, and have no damage.

Where does this come from? Like they have a perception that dirty and/or dinged up cars are seen as low class?

This actually sounds like someone who came from a very low class family who is overly concerned that people don't think they are low class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you go to work in a shirt that had a rip in it?

A scratch on the car or a dent doesn't impact the safety or drive-ability of a car. Who are people concerned will "see" them in such a car and think less (?) of them? It's a very odd paranoia. Or at least one I don't fully understand. I assume it's some old-timey class stereotype.

No, it isn't some "old-timey class stereotype." If anything, the stereotype is that old money cares less about having a cosmetically perfect car than strivers.

I live in a place with plenty of old money. They almost all drive freshly detailed European luxury SUVs, sports cars, Teslas, 4-door Mini Coopers, and Suburbans.

You 100% live in the South then. New England old money (where I’m from - is the complete opposite). There is nothing they like better than an old Mercedes coughing out black diesel fumes as they slowly and loudly drive down the street. I grew up in CT and spend summers in Martha’s Vineyard. The people you describe would be considered guache.

10 years ago everyone in Maine drove either a volvo or a subaru outback. It didn't matter what social class.