Interesting response to change in approach

[Anonymous]

Typically I am very ingratiating, friendly, and nice at work. Yesterday I decided to take a different approach and was straightforward, no-nonsense, and almost terse - people I was meeting with were more noticeably respectful and deferential. I think I will stick to this new approach, although it feels unnatural.

[Anonymous]

Pro tip, don't be a B all the time. Save it for when it is needed. The respectful and deferential will turn if this is your new go to personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip, don't be a B all the time. Save it for when it is needed. The respectful and deferential will turn if this is your new go to personality.

Is being straightforward and no-nonsense the same as being a B? To me being a B is being rude: interrupting, not listening, not giving credit, and generally being a miserable, self-absorbed person. Is there not a distinction?

[Anonymous]

You can be assertive while still being nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip, don't be a B all the time. Save it for when it is needed. The respectful and deferential will turn if this is your new go to personality.

I'm sure the misogynist will say there is no sexism in the workplace. Because men get called B for being direct? OP, ignore this chauvinist and never apologize for doing the exact same things a white male gets away with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip, don't be a B all the time. Save it for when it is needed. The respectful and deferential will turn if this is your new go to personality.

I'm sure the misogynist will say there is no sexism in the workplace. Because men get called B for being direct? OP, ignore this chauvinist and never apologize for doing the exact same things a white male gets away with.

Men get called a D for being direct.

[Anonymous]

Good for you! But also keep in mind that they know the normal "you," so they may have been acting like this because they felt like you seemed stressed and irritable. This might not be how they act toward you if you act like this all the time, or it might result in them feeling frustrated with you for always seeming so stressed. I hate it when people act like they are more stressed than anyone else.

But by all means, go ahead and be direct and assertive! Cut out the fluffy BS from meetings, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you! But also keep in mind that they know the normal "you," so they may have been acting like this because they felt like you seemed stressed and irritable. This might not be how they act toward you if you act like this all the time, or it might result in them feeling frustrated with you for always seeming so stressed. I hate it when people act like they are more stressed than anyone else.

But by all means, go ahead and be direct and assertive! Cut out the fluffy BS from meetings, too.

I wouldn’t say I engage in fluffy BS, neither do I think I sounded “stressed,” I just spoke in an even tone and was matter-of-fact. (No sing-songy hello, limited chit-chat, kept redirecting to the point.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip, don't be a B all the time. Save it for when it is needed. The respectful and deferential will turn if this is your new go to personality.

I'm sure the misogynist will say there is no sexism in the workplace. Because men get called B for being direct? OP, ignore this chauvinist and never apologize for doing the exact same things a white male gets away with.

I'm not a chauvinist. I'm a woman who is direct, but know there is a fine line as being viewed as a B. Terse is right on the line, and it's fine when needed. I wouldn't suggest anyone, male or female be terse as their 100% go-to work personality.

No, I do not want to work with any male who cannot be kind, while still being direct. No one should get away with being an ass 100% of the time. That's not a good business face.