Family Friends Will be Traveling to Attend my Son's Graduation

[Anonymous]

Am I expected to pay for their room? They are a large group and make what we make or more .

I have offered to pay for my siblings' rooms, since they are traveling even further and are on limited incomes.

Am I expected to cover food for the weekend also?

If they pay for their travel, should I say no gifts are necessary?

None of these people are wealthy, more like UMC.

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't expect for anyone to cover my hotel room since it is my choice to attend and not a summons, but I would expect to be fed at least one meal -- graduation brunch/lunch or dinner. And the gifts are for the child (for ex I got luggage and spending money) not you so please don't tell people not to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

No to this advice. People are invited to places and things all of the time and they pay their own way. If they can't afford it they can say no. The host should be accommodating to out of town guests (gift bags, a main meal provided) but pay their entire bill? No.

[Anonymous]

What? I would not offer to pay for those that are choosing to come to the graduation. That is not necessary.

With your siblings who are strapped financially, sure. That is a perfectly reasonable gesture. But for UMC family & friends? No. If they cannot afford to attend, they can simply decline.

You are not expected to cover every meal either. I would expect that you are hosting some type of lunch/dinner or party after the graduation. You could also have something informal like a bbq or sandwiches on Friday night for those who have just arrived.

[Anonymous]

My parents visit us from Europe, and would never dream of letting us pay for their hotel or meals. We are all middle class, not UMC.

In your situation, I would not offer to pay for hotel rooms or their own meals when not in our company. I would not expect any graduation gift either. The visit is the gift. And any joint meals would be paid for by me, unless they protested, which my family would.

If I intend to pay for someone's travel, hotel, meals, etc, I say so in so many words, to avoid any confusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

What planet are you from? This is not a “basic life rule” anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't expect for anyone to cover my hotel room since it is my choice to attend and not a summons, but I would expect to be fed at least one meal -- graduation brunch/lunch or dinner. And the gifts are for the child (for ex I got luggage and spending money) not you so please don't tell people not to do that.

+1

[Anonymous]

Do you have enough tickets for everyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

What planet are you from? This is not a “basic life rule” anywhere.

We were raised differentially. It is called hosting, if you are hosting you pay. Especially when is a celebration for someone in YOUR family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I expected to pay for their room? They are a large group and make what we make or more .

I have offered to pay for my siblings' rooms, since they are traveling even further and are on limited incomes.

Am I expected to cover food for the weekend also?

If they pay for their travel, should I say no gifts are necessary?

None of these people are wealthy, more like UMC.

Thanks.

Do not say that no gifts are necessary. It’s rude to assume that people are bringing gift in the first place and to manage how they might choose to celebrate your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

What planet are you from? This is not a “basic life rule” anywhere.

We were raised differentially. It is called hosting, if you are hosting you pay. Especially when is a celebration for someone in YOUR family.

Sorry, I don't believe you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

What planet are you from? This is not a “basic life rule” anywhere.

We were raised differentially. It is called hosting, if you are hosting you pay. Especially when is a celebration for someone in YOUR family.

You pay the hotel bills of ALL the people visiting you? So if your child gets married, you will pay the hotel costs for all the guests?

[Anonymous]

What about reserving a block of hotel rooms so people can book them at a discount?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Basic life rule, don't invite people unless your are prepared to pay for them. I wouldn't even think of asking them to pay for anything.

What planet are you from? This is not a “basic life rule” anywhere.

We were raised differentially. It is called hosting, if you are hosting you pay. Especially when is a celebration for someone in YOUR family.

I've never heard of this. So, you pay for everyone attending your event- like their hotel rooms and all their meals - for weddings, funerals, christenings, bar mitzvahs, birthdays...?