What to do with instant connections?

[Anonymous]

I met this person and turns out we have a lot of unusual things in common. We are both happily married and our jobs bring us together regularly and b/c of our commonalities, I feel way more "seen" than I ever do at work. I sort of like it but I sort of feel over exposed.

I also, honestly, feel very attracted to them and I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual. Well, I know it is. We went to lunch last week and it felt like a date. When I have felt attraction to work-people, I've just avoided them until the crush feeling goes away but in our positions, we are together regularly and so avoiding isn't a very realistic option.

Other than avoiding lunch (obvs) suggestions? I have no desire for an affair but do like being around them.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy the work dates, OP. That's all. I've been there, and done nothing whatsoever about it. It just adds a little enjoyment to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Enjoy the work dates, OP. That's all. I've been there, and done nothing whatsoever about it. It just adds a little enjoyment to work.

Corporate Courting?

[Anonymous]

Lucky you! Enjoy it. Just don’t kiss him.

[Anonymous]

I love this advice! It's great.

[Anonymous]

I’m kind of in this situation but not much attraction, at least on my end and doubtful on his plus I’m older. We are both married with kids.

But we’ve connected and can vent about work among a job of crazy people and frustrations. It’s been a rough time for me and he’s a good listener and gives good advice.

I think what feels weird for me is I’ve never been friends with guys since being married. So I don’t really know what that’s like or if it’s “ok.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m kind of in this situation but not much attraction, at least on my end and doubtful on his plus I’m older. We are both married with kids.

But we’ve connected and can vent about work among a job of crazy people and frustrations. It’s been a rough time for me and he’s a good listener and gives good advice.

I think what feels weird for me is I’ve never been friends with guys since being married. So I don’t really know what that’s like or if it’s “ok.”

Of course it's OK!!! My goodness. Our society is dysfunctional indeed if women can't be friends with men and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Cheating doesn’t start in the bedroom it starts with that number in your cell phone. Keep it professional, it’s work, anything beyond that your spouse better know about

[Anonymous]

^^ to that point, my spouse doesn't want to know about the odd connections I have with this other person. They are unusual, uncommon and not something anybody would lead with. My husband doesn't want to talk about these aspects of my past...which is the conundrum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ to that point, my spouse doesn't want to know about the odd connections I have with this other person. They are unusual, uncommon and not something anybody would lead with. My husband doesn't want to talk about these aspects of my past...which is the conundrum.

Now I’m curious as to what could be so off limits and odd.

[Anonymous]

Sleep with him one time, get it out of your system and never do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleep with him one time, get it out of your system and never do it again.

Ha! Said no one ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ to that point, my spouse doesn't want to know about the odd connections I have with this other person. They are unusual, uncommon and not something anybody would lead with. My husband doesn't want to talk about these aspects of my past...which is the conundrum.

Now I’m curious as to what could be so off limits and odd.

Well, I'm going to be vague. We were both raised really poor and with that comes a lot of baggage. My husband's heard it all but I need to process the bifurcation of my life. We are both very successful, currently at the top of our games but we have this unlikely and unfortunate past to contend with. We also both suffered the same tradagy in our early adult hood. Again, honey knows all a bout it but makes him sad and so I largely stopped talking about that too. It's also one thing to tell you or husband I can't believe I came from this trash place and now I'm fancy but it's quite another thing to have this be the state of another person. Escaping poverty is ugly; we each know some of the ugly we've seen and some of the pain we've felt and we've over come it. Similar timelines to all that too meaning same age when we experienced these things. I think we are the same age.

[Anonymous]

You might be surprised to find that your past isn’t all that odd. From what you e described, I could fit that timeline as well...something from nothing and tragedy in early adulthood. With your attraction you see what you want to see. Enjoy the feelings they will fade in time.