Childcare for 3 kids

[Anonymous]

In light of the other thread on here about having 3 kids, I am curious to know what the childcare arrangements are for those with 3 kids where both parents work full time. Are there rockstar nannies out there who can manage 3 kids at once? Is it impossible for one nanny to deal with a baby, toddler and elementary age kid without everyone suffering in some way? I know SAHMs do it (manage 3 kids with no help) so curious why most people think a nanny can’t.

We currently have a 4yo and 1.5yo and really want a 3rd, but we want to understand the childcare implications. DH and I both work and have an awesome nanny. She says she is open to taking care of 3, but I am concerned about logistics for the next few years with 2 kids in different schools with different hours, shuttling to after school activities, and needing to feed and deal with a baby at the same time as shuttling the older ones around.

Would love honest feedback on what does and and doesn’t work.

[Anonymous]

The age gap matters (both for a nanny and a parent!). Our older two were 4 and 6 when our 3rd was born and oldest was in 1st and middle in full day preschool. I was home on leave for 5 months and by the time I was back at work, nanny could easily handle the logistics with some help (we set up a carpool for the oldest and DH dropped middle at school on the way to his office). I worked an early schedule so i was home by 4:40 or so and either nanny or I did bath while the other got dinner prepped.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The age gap matters (both for a nanny and a parent!). Our older two were 4 and 6 when our 3rd was born and oldest was in 1st and middle in full day preschool. I was home on leave for 5 months and by the time I was back at work, nanny could easily handle the logistics with some help (we set up a carpool for the oldest and DH dropped middle at school on the way to his office). I worked an early schedule so i was home by 4:40 or so and either nanny or I did bath while the other got dinner prepped.

Curious, why couldn’t the nanny take the baby along and drop the other two at school and pick up? Like a SAHM would do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In light of the other thread on here about having 3 kids, I am curious to know what the childcare arrangements are for those with 3 kids where both parents work full time. Are there rockstar nannies out there who can manage 3 kids at once? Is it impossible for one nanny to deal with a baby, toddler and elementary age kid without everyone suffering in some way? I know SAHMs do it (manage 3 kids with no help) so curious why most people think a nanny can’t.

We currently have a 4yo and 1.5yo and really want a 3rd, but we want to understand the childcare implications. DH and I both work and have an awesome nanny. She says she is open to taking care of 3, but I am concerned about logistics for the next few years with 2 kids in different schools with different hours, shuttling to after school activities, and needing to feed and deal with a baby at the same time as shuttling the older ones around.

Would love honest feedback on what does and and doesn’t work.

I do t think there’s a way to do it well with 3 closely spaced kids. Most likely baby’s sleep will suffer. I’m a SAHM but I’ve told my DH we need a nanny or a helper if we have a third.

[Anonymous]

My oldest didn't like being home with the babies. (She actually loved the baby but was disappointed that the activities changed) We tried out the after school care at our elementary school for K and she loved it. It's relatively cheap ($350 a month) but helped everyone a lot when the baby was little. It went until 6pm so we easily could pick up after school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The age gap matters (both for a nanny and a parent!). Our older two were 4 and 6 when our 3rd was born and oldest was in 1st and middle in full day preschool. I was home on leave for 5 months and by the time I was back at work, nanny could easily handle the logistics with some help (we set up a carpool for the oldest and DH dropped middle at school on the way to his office). I worked an early schedule so i was home by 4:40 or so and either nanny or I did bath while the other got dinner prepped.

Curious, why couldn’t the nanny take the baby along and drop the other two at school and pick up? Like a SAHM would do

Oh, she could have (and did). But the older 2 were in different schools so the carpool made pickup less insane. For drop-off, a neighbor offered to take oldest and having DH drop middle meant she could get the baby down and take care of some household chores during the morning nap.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course, a good nanny could handle it but is it really in the best interest of the older kids and the new baby? Getting strapped into a car seat for pick ups and drop offs for two siblings at potentially two different schools? What about the countless sick days and holidays where the baby will just be a tag-along?

I personally don’t get the fad of wanting three but I’m really tired if parents complaining about how hard it is on them and not the negative impact it’s having on their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In light of the other thread on here about having 3 kids, I am curious to know what the childcare arrangements are for those with 3 kids where both parents work full time. Are there rockstar nannies out there who can manage 3 kids at once? Is it impossible for one nanny to deal with a baby, toddler and elementary age kid without everyone suffering in some way? I know SAHMs do it (manage 3 kids with no help) so curious why most people think a nanny can’t.

We currently have a 4yo and 1.5yo and really want a 3rd, but we want to understand the childcare implications. DH and I both work and have an awesome nanny. She says she is open to taking care of 3, but I am concerned about logistics for the next few years with 2 kids in different schools with different hours, shuttling to after school activities, and needing to feed and deal with a baby at the same time as shuttling the older ones around.

Would love honest feedback on what does and and doesn’t work.

I do t think there’s a way to do it well with 3 closely spaced kids. Most likely baby’s sleep will suffer. I’m a SAHM but I’ve told my DH we need a nanny or a helper if we have a third.

Why have three kids if you cannot care for them all?

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny who is employed by a family with three children spaced less than two years apart. There is a second nanny. We work together in the best interest of the kids.

I could do it alone but the children’s schedules and education would be negatively effected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In light of the other thread on here about having 3 kids, I am curious to know what the childcare arrangements are for those with 3 kids where both parents work full time. Are there rockstar nannies out there who can manage 3 kids at once? Is it impossible for one nanny to deal with a baby, toddler and elementary age kid without everyone suffering in some way? I know SAHMs do it (manage 3 kids with no help) so curious why most people think a nanny can’t.

We currently have a 4yo and 1.5yo and really want a 3rd, but we want to understand the childcare implications. DH and I both work and have an awesome nanny. She says she is open to taking care of 3, but I am concerned about logistics for the next few years with 2 kids in different schools with different hours, shuttling to after school activities, and needing to feed and deal with a baby at the same time as shuttling the older ones around.

Would love honest feedback on what does and and doesn’t work.

I do t think there’s a way to do it well with 3 closely spaced kids. Most likely baby’s sleep will suffer. I’m a SAHM but I’ve told my DH we need a nanny or a helper if we have a third.

Why have three kids if you cannot care for them all?

She doesn’t have three kids, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In light of the other thread on here about having 3 kids, I am curious to know what the childcare arrangements are for those with 3 kids where both parents work full time. Are there rockstar nannies out there who can manage 3 kids at once? Is it impossible for one nanny to deal with a baby, toddler and elementary age kid without everyone suffering in some way? I know SAHMs do it (manage 3 kids with no help) so curious why most people think a nanny can’t.

We currently have a 4yo and 1.5yo and really want a 3rd, but we want to understand the childcare implications. DH and I both work and have an awesome nanny. She says she is open to taking care of 3, but I am concerned about logistics for the next few years with 2 kids in different schools with different hours, shuttling to after school activities, and needing to feed and deal with a baby at the same time as shuttling the older ones around.

Would love honest feedback on what does and and doesn’t work.

I do t think there’s a way to do it well with 3 closely spaced kids. Most likely baby’s sleep will suffer. I’m a SAHM but I’ve told my DH we need a nanny or a helper if we have a third.

Why have three kids if you cannot care for them all?

I can care for them and schlep baby around like lots of other nannies and moms but it’s not the ideal scenario for a baby to take lots of naps on the go. The nap all day stage lasts only so long but the child is forever.

Also, do you ask working moms why they have kids if they can’t care for them during the work day?

[Anonymous]

We have 4 kids and both work full time. Baby is in daycare. Other kids are in school (PK4, 1st and 2nd). DH has adjusted his schedule to end work at 3:45 and pick up the oldest 3 from school, so they don't need any additional babysitting.

We have always used daycare, then a combination of school, summer camp, and babysitters. The closest we came to a nanny was the first few months of COVID, when we had a babysitter watch our then-3 kids. She did great. I wouldn't have done any better myself. I was working from home, so I knew what was going on. She managed remote learning and potty training, and still managed to do fun stuff with the kids every day.

[Anonymous]

The difference between the nanny and the SAHM is you can’t pay a nanny enough to watch three kids. If you could - you could afford two.

[Anonymous]

3 kids, with 2 in full or part school, is really not hard at all for a SAHM or a competent nanny to manage. I’m confused what the issue is? Picking up the older kids from school? We always just worked the naps around this - it wasn’t a big deal. I don’t see why your nanny couldn’t easily manage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 4 kids and both work full time. Baby is in daycare. Other kids are in school (PK4, 1st and 2nd). DH has adjusted his schedule to end work at 3:45 and pick up the oldest 3 from school, so they don't need any additional babysitting.

We have always used daycare, then a combination of school, summer camp, and babysitters. The closest we came to a nanny was the first few months of COVID, when we had a babysitter watch our then-3 kids. She did great. I wouldn't have done any better myself. I was working from home, so I knew what was going on. She managed remote learning and potty training, and still managed to do fun stuff with the kids every day.

It’s different because the babysitter wasn’t taking them to school, music lessons, and sports practices with a poor infant in tow.

OP, I would wait until your toddler is older and then revisit the question. Anyone was wrangle three kids but very few can do it in a way that’s in everyone’s best interest.