Is there any excuse for a crappy dad
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Anonymous
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My 10 year old son said quietly “I don’t think daddy is a good dad.” His father (my husband) is working abroad and we stayed in the US for school. Barely contacts us and almost never checks in with his son. We try FaceTiming but he doesn’t answer more often than not. Yet he has time to post on social media. Even his paternal grandmother texts and so do his uncle/aunt. It’s just really sad and I try to emphasize to my son that he has many people close to him that care deeply about his happiness, success, and personal development. I’ve never badmouthed my husband to our son but it’s just sad and I’m frustrated.
Anyone BTDT? |
Anonymous
| You stayed behind? Signs of a troubled marriage right there….my parents did this and I’m pretty sure my dad cheated the whole time…. I think you have a lot to work through OP and the relationship he has with his kid is just part of it. His relationship with you is a bigger aspect you should be questioning |
Anonymous
| He’s 10. Why did you stay behind for school?? Go with them and put the kid in an international school or military school he’s in the military. |
Anonymous
| Hugs to you and your son. My heart breaks for him and his realization. All you can do is keep loving him and gently try to work on the father engaging with his son more. |
Anonymous
Can you go abroad? |
Anonymous
| Did you stay behind for work? For your child's school? Or did your DH go to work in a country you feel is not safe? Something is going on here and it doesn't sound good. |
Anonymous
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OP do not uproot your sons life and move him somewhere that half the people he will know can’t be bothered to take his calls.
Your husband is a crappy dad and your son is not an idiot. Even if you were divorced with a non-disparagement clause in place, you would not be expected to lie for your ex-spouse. Validate your sons feelings but do not either make comments yourself (like don’t say he’s a crappy dad, say you understand how disappointed he is not to talk to dad today.) Also don’t pile on or discuss your husbands behavior toward *You*, that is not appropriate to discuss with your son. Take the opportunity of distance to consult a lawyer about what getting your ducks in a row might look like. |
Anonymous
| Well, you are the one who picked this crappy dad for your child. What’s your excuse? |
Anonymous
It's the wife's fault? No, sorry. The father is 100% responsible for his actions. It is his choice to ignore his fatherly responsibilities. They do not end just b/c you are in a different location. |
Anonymous
How exactly is that helpful? Sorry Op. It sucks for everyone. I am sure you have thought about this but how about preset appointments so he knows when to be online to answer the phone? At least your son will be able to speak with him. Also, therapy for the kiddo. |
Anonymous
| 10 year olds don't just say things like that. If I heard it, I'd suspect it comes from mom's mouth, or a relative, or perhaps a teacher with no boundaries. |
Anonymous
It’s helpful to be able to tell your child about his good qualities and what you liked about him. Also helpful to tell your child that not everyone is cut out to be a good parent, and it isn’t the kid’s fault. A little introspection is always helpful. |
Anonymous
| My dad got posted overseas repeatedly when I was a kid before you could do anything other than an infrequent phone call. We just dealt with it. Mom made it clear that this was his duty, he didn’t have a choice in the matter. |
Anonymous
How many 10 year olds do you know? They definitely say things like that. |
Anonymous
| Is dad somewhere with a horrible time difference that makes it hard to sync up? |