Please. Stop. Blaming. Others.

[Anonymous]

I am really sorry that so many kids are hurting right now because of the college rejections. It hurts, I know. Especially when your child has worked hard and seems to be well qualified for these schools by objective measures, like GPA and test scores. My DC is one of these kids, having just been rejected or WL from seven schools over the last two weeks (and rejected ED in December).

The fact is, many schools are simply flooded with applications from well qualified students and cannot accept them all. So they make tough decisions and make decisions based on very quick reviews of applications, many of which are basically indistinguishable from one another. In some cases, they may look "unfair" because we see other kids in our orbit getting into the same school that our kid gets rejected from and we can't imagine what that kid had that ours didn't.

So, to make ourselves and our kids feel better, there is so much blaming--blaming other "lesser" URM kids, "lesser" public schools with grade inflation, "yield protection", etc.....and it is not fair to the kids who did get in. And, to be honest, it's not good for our own kids--it only feeds grievances. Let's teach them graciousness and grit. It will serve everyone better.

So, to all the kids out there who were accepted to Rice, Hopkins, Wash U, Rice, Northeastern, CMU, Northwestern: Congratulations to you! You deserve it! You are worthy of that acceptance. You earned it.

[Anonymous]

+1,000

[Anonymous]

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Parents and students here aren’t blaming “others”. They are blaming a broken system

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parents and students here aren’t blaming “others”. They are blaming a broken system

This. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Some parents and students are just entitled

[Anonymous]

Thank you OP. Parents have the right to be disappointed. And hugs to. All the disappointed kids and parents out there.

But, it’s ridiculous to imply Johns Hopkins couldn’t fill a class with great, deserving kids who aren’t related to you. Your kid was great and another kids were great. They made a call- maybe based on grades, maybe based on having no prospective geology majors.

You can be gracious and move forward. You can finger point and lay blame. But remember— your kid takes their cues from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some parents and students are just entitled

+1

[Anonymous]

OP, you should probably also admonish DCUM posters who insist on tearing down kids who didn’t get in by assuming they couldn’t back their GPA up with AP scores, they didn’t have extracurriculars, they aren’t nice kids, they are high-stats robots, they blew off essays, they didn’t show interest, and on and on.

I have seen all of these assumptions and accusations tossed around to justify kids not getting into schools when they are rarely if ever true.

The process is broken and it is not transparent. Stop blaming the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents and students here aren’t blaming “others”. They are blaming a broken system

This. Thank you.

=1,000

And OP - you have no idea what is "rarely if ever true" because you are not in college admissions nor do you have any idea of the specifics of anyone raising valid issues/concerns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents and students here aren’t blaming “others”. They are blaming a broken system

This. Thank you.

Really? Despite the low percentage of URM kids at some schools, I've see many claims that they are why posters' kids aren't getting in. So, yeah, that's blaming others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents and students here aren’t blaming “others”. They are blaming a broken system

This. Thank you.

Really? Despite the low percentage of URM kids at some schools, I've see many claims that they are why posters' kids aren't getting in. So, yeah, that's blaming others.

Yep. If you are ''blaming the system,'' you're really just blaming it for not favoring applicants like your child any more.

[Anonymous]

parent of white kid who had no hooks who got into very top SLAC... agree... she can't even celebrate her acceptance because she has to tiptoe around all of the kids who assume she is legacy or are mad that she got in and they didn't. its ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:parent of white kid who had no hooks who got into very top SLAC... agree... she can't even celebrate her acceptance because she has to tiptoe around all of the kids who assume she is legacy or are mad that she got in and they didn't. its ridiculous.

+1000

Must happen every year, but seems particularly toxic after so many were shocked and disappointed last week. Can only assume kids are treating your DD this week because they are laughing out in their own pain. I'm sorry your DD can't celebrate her acceptance. Getting any good news last week was extraordinary. Worth celebrating.

Signed, Parent of a kid shut out last week and likely going to a safety

[Anonymous]

The process may be broken, but we also must understand that capacity at the best schools has not kept pace with the increase in applications. Moreover, there are just more qualified kids. In the past, not everyone was aware of how to play the game at elite schools, but now more people test prep, develop hooks, and are aware of needs-blind admissions. Also, there are so many more opportunities for poor and/or minority kids to attend elite colleges, like Questbridge. Is sum, I don’t know if the system is broken as much as people don’t realize there is a supply constraint even as demand increases. That means the “price” - in this case, the acceptance hurdle - must go higher, which means a lower acceptance rate.