Right school for kid with Substance abuse issues

[Anonymous]

Not sure if this is the right forum, but I need to vent, because I don’t know what to do.

My DS is currently in a residential program. It’s only been 2 weeks. As expected, he’s still very angry, & tells me that he plans to continue his use of weed, & alcohol when he gets out. My house was like a prison, with him at home. The substance abuse, the aggressive behavior, the trouble at school. It goes on.

So, this is where I am. I don’t know if I should let him return to the same school, when he gets out, & be unable to control his return to this influential crew, who I believe contributed to his downfall, apply to another school, but will probably still be an issue, with a different “crew”, or keep him home, & do online school for HS. Problem with this is I work, & he would be unsupervised 3 days a week. Last open, boarding or military school.

I don’t know if anyone has been in this situation, but I sure would welcome some input, or advice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't have any relevant suggestions, but my heart goes out to you on what sounds like a very tough situation and want to wish you and your DS the best.

[Anonymous]

I recommend connecting him to an AA meeting for young people. There is a good one in Woodley Park (young means mostly 20s, but there are older people as well). Have him go to meetings and get a sponsor (one who has been sober for at least one year and is active in recovery). I got sober in college and it wasn't quick or easy - but having a sponsor to hold me accountable made a huge difference. Ideally he should find a sponsor he looks up to in some way. Trust me when I say his life is not over and is just beginning if he is getting sober now. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

How old is your son? I think there are boarding schools that could deal with his issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recommend connecting him to an AA meeting for young people. There is a good one in Woodley Park (young means mostly 20s, but there are older people as well). Have him go to meetings and get a sponsor (one who has been sober for at least one year and is active in recovery). I got sober in college and it wasn't quick or easy - but having a sponsor to hold me accountable made a huge difference. Ideally he should find a sponsor he looks up to in some way. Trust me when I say his life is not over and is just beginning if he is getting sober now. Best of luck.

Op here. Thank you so much for your kind words

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is your son? I think there are boarding schools that could deal with his issues.

15

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't have any relevant suggestions, but my heart goes out to you on what sounds like a very tough situation and want to wish you and your DS the best.

Thank you

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry to hear about your son, OP. You definitely need professional guidance to help you make the best decisions for you and your son. I hope he can stay in the residential program for a good length of time. Assuming you live in the DC area, I suggest contacting The Ross Center -- https://www.rosscenter.com/how-we-treat/dialectical-behavior-therapy. They have wonderful clinicians and a treatment program for teenagers with serious conditions. They also have clinicians that can help you keep your sanity, which is just as important. Hopefully the residential program can also give you some expert advice about an appropriate school environment.

I wish you and your son all the best.

[Anonymous]

What about a military school? I know a parent who did that many years ago and she was pleased how her kid turned out.

[Anonymous]

Military schools are generally not the "reform schools" that they were a generation ago. A military school would work for a basically good kid that could benefit from more structure and discipline in their life, especially if home life is troubled. But it's not the place for a kid with substance addiction problems, who needs a program that is therapeutically supportive.

[Anonymous]

Everything I’ve read or heard about drug issues states not to return to former friends. Therapeutic boarding school could be a good bet.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the therapeutic boarding school idea. I suggest you start attending AL-ANON meetings. People you meet there may have good suggestions. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about a military school? I know a parent who did that many years ago and she was pleased how her kid turned out.

+1 military school

I had a somewhat friend in HS who transfered from a different HS because she was getting into all kinds of trouble at the other HS. Parents thought that if they separated her from her "bad friends", then she wouldn't get into so much trouble. Nope. The trouble follows because the issue is with the kid. She still found ways to buy drugs, drink, etc, and then she got pregnant at 15.

[Anonymous]

Look into Hyde School in Bath, Maine. They do an amazing job turning kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the therapeutic boarding school idea. I suggest you start attending AL-ANON meetings. People you meet there may have good suggestions. I'm so sorry your family is going through this.

+1 my client went to one in Utah for a year and it was life changing.