Does your nanny tell you if your child did something wrong?

[Anonymous]

We’ve had our nanny for over three years and love her. When she corrects our child during the day for any infraction she doesn’t tell us. For little things, that’s fine. But last night our son told us he ran into the street and nanny was angry and scared. Nanny seemed to handle it well, talking about how dangerous it was to let go of her hand and step off the curb and how cars couldn’t see a small child to stop. DC said he wasn’t going to do that again because it wasn’t safe.

Should nanny have told us? This was potentially serious although we live on a very calm street.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you you can talk to her about it: "Jane you know we completely trust you to handle things that come up when we're not around, but if Larlo starts a new dangerous behavior like running into the street, we'd like a heads up. We want to know what to watch out for and make sure that we're all on the same page in our response. I'm sorry he scared you like that!"

[Anonymous]

I was a nanny for many years and if the child wasn't hurt, I wouldn't have thought to tell the parents. If it happened more than once and seemed like it was becoming a pattern, then I would.

[Anonymous]

No, nanny handled it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you you can talk to her about it: "Jane you know we completely trust you to handle things that come up when we're not around, but if Larlo starts a new dangerous behavior like running into the street, we'd like a heads up. We want to know what to watch out for and make sure that we're all on the same page in our response. I'm sorry he scared you like that!"

She has been his nanny for three years and you would speak to her in this condescending way? I would tell you where to go and quit on the spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you you can talk to her about it: "Jane you know we completely trust you to handle things that come up when we're not around, but if Larlo starts a new dangerous behavior like running into the street, we'd like a heads up. We want to know what to watch out for and make sure that we're all on the same page in our response. I'm sorry he scared you like that!"

She has been his nanny for three years and you would speak to her in this condescending way? I would tell you where to go and quit on the spot.

New poster here. That doesn't seem condescending to me at all.

[Anonymous]

For this if it was a one off I would not bring it up and consider it handled. Should it happen again, I would certainly bring it up.

[Anonymous]

No. Nanny handled it. I’m sure she would tell you if there was a pattern of dangerous behavior occurring. Let you nanny keep her word to your son, It’s sweet that he told you!

[Anonymous]

No. I don’t think that would be fair to my kid. She corrected him and that’s enough. He doesn’t need to hear it from us again.

[Anonymous]

Nanny here and I agree that if it Had been dealt with it wouldn’t necessarily occur to me to tell the parents. You also don’t know the circumstances 100%. Like you may be envisioning him running across the street and nearly being hit by a passing car, when actually he only got two steps from the curb before she grabbed him, there were no cars around anyway, but she was “scared and angry” because he didn’t stop when she called him and it could theoretically have been dangerous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you you can talk to her about it: "Jane you know we completely trust you to handle things that come up when we're not around, but if Larlo starts a new dangerous behavior like running into the street, we'd like a heads up. We want to know what to watch out for and make sure that we're all on the same page in our response. I'm sorry he scared you like that!"

She has been his nanny for three years and you would speak to her in this condescending way? I would tell you where to go and quit on the spot.

I am also a Nanny and would not like being told this.

Most especially if this was an isolated incident.

[Anonymous]

no - i wouldn't expect my nanny to share this. and in general its good for little kids to have issues addressed in the moment and then move on. nothing wrong with telling her you want her to share more but make sure its over text or outside of your kids earshot

[Anonymous]

If something dangerous like that happens absolutely would, like trying to put their finger in the electric socket. That way if kid says nanny yelled at me parents would know why as well as to make them aware of the dangerous behavior. I save yelling voice for truly dangerous situations so it usually startles young kids and they stop but if I have to use that voice it’s for something parents need to know about. Also if anything at all happened that might create a bump or bruise later I always tell family like falling off playground equipment or bumping head hard while playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you you can talk to her about it: "Jane you know we completely trust you to handle things that come up when we're not around, but if Larlo starts a new dangerous behavior like running into the street, we'd like a heads up. We want to know what to watch out for and make sure that we're all on the same page in our response. I'm sorry he scared you like that!"

She has been his nanny for three years and you would speak to her in this condescending way? I would tell you where to go and quit on the spot.

Seems like very appropriate response you’re still the parent here if you want her to share this then tell her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This wouldn't bother me, but if it bothers you you can talk to her about it: "Jane you know we completely trust you to handle things that come up when we're not around, but if Larlo starts a new dangerous behavior like running into the street, we'd like a heads up. We want to know what to watch out for and make sure that we're all on the same page in our response. I'm sorry he scared you like that!"

She has been his nanny for three years and you would speak to her in this condescending way? I would tell you where to go and quit on the spot.

I am also a Nanny and would not like being told this.

Most especially if this was an isolated incident.

You need to check yourself if it would bother you, you’re not the parent you’re the nanny. You should always be open to conversation about how to communicate with parents.