Help! My kid is a generalist!

[Anonymous]

How do I get my DS 9th grader to focus: he likes to dabble in a variety of things (theater, math, history, science, lit) but can't seem to find his passion in any one thing. He has straight As in school but has not really shown a true passion for any ONE or TWO things. I am truly stumped with this kid! I'm searching through my memories to see if he was passionate about any one thing in ES or earlier, but he's always been a very happy, well-adjusted kid who was always game for anything: math workbooks? sure. writing games? why not. science museum? sure. theater camp? sure. soccer? sure. baseball? sure. chess? sure. Aaargh! The result has been that he's very adaptable and switches modes easily. A little too easily.

It's time to start thinking of college, and I need help to guide him forward and find some passion. How do I do that if he doesn't know what he's truly passionate about? How have you kindled this in your high schoolers?

Sorry to interrupt the college decision season and TiA!

[Anonymous]

Wtf??? Who cares?? This is not Europe where you have to specialize at 16. It’s good to have a broad range of interests! And he is getting As. What is the problem?? He can figure out what he wants to major in when he is a sophomore in college. It doesn’t matter. Back off.

[Anonymous]

Mine is the same. Never developed a passion. Happy now at Brown.

[Anonymous]

This used to be called "well rounded." Bizarre that it's now perceived as a problem.

[Anonymous]

RANGE
WHY GENERALISTS TRIUMPH IN A SPECIALIZED WORLD

https://davidepstein.com/the-range/

"Plenty of experts argue that anyone who wants to develop a skill, play an instrument, or lead their field should start early, focus intensely, and rack up as many hours of deliberate practice as possible. If you dabble or delay, you’ll never catch up to the people who got a head start. But a closer look at research on the world’s top performers, from professional athletes to Nobel laureates, shows that early specialization is the exception, not the rule."

[Anonymous]

Really OP, get over it. Your kid is your kid, and he's in 9th freaking grade. You don't have to force a "passion" on him in order for him to get into college.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I am definitely not hot housing him, but I want him to be happy with one thing above all the others. He's in our regular home public school, so I don't think getting all As is a big deal. I only bring it up to show that his skill level is pretty even (stem vs. humanities). But while his skills are even and he's adept at switching modes, he's not passionate about any one thing. I fear that in college, he'll be equally unable to find his passion, i.e., pick a major, stick with it, and do well in it.

I'm not saying he has to find himself at 15! I just don't want him to graduate college having just gone through the motions, and wind up in a profession he hates. That is not any one's goal, I'm sure.

Of course I'm not sharing any of my concerns with him! He's very happy, and I'm happy. But he doesn't know that in life choices must be made eventually, and I want him to be happy with his choices. How do I help him?

[Anonymous]

My DC is in a LAC. They cannot even choose a major until sophomore year. Intellectual exploration is a good thing. My DC loves to learn and have varied interests. That will not hold her back. Really, it’s ok. I think learning to love learning is better than specializing early in something you will be bored with or hate later.

[Anonymous]

Give me a happy generalist any day!
You don't know how lucky you are to have a well rounded kid

[Anonymous]

Okay, I guess I'm new to this. Do kids not have to declare their major when they apply? Or, is that only for a few programs/schools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I guess I'm new to this. Do kids not have to declare their major when they apply? Or, is that only for a few programs/schools?

Apply to what? OP's kid is in 9th grade!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I am definitely not hot housing him, but I want him to be happy with one thing above all the others. He's in our regular home public school, so I don't think getting all As is a big deal. I only bring it up to show that his skill level is pretty even (stem vs. humanities). But while his skills are even and he's adept at switching modes, he's not passionate about any one thing. I fear that in college, he'll be equally unable to find his passion, i.e., pick a major, stick with it, and do well in it.

I'm not saying he has to find himself at 15! I just don't want him to graduate college having just gone through the motions, and wind up in a profession he hates. That is not any one's goal, I'm sure.

Of course I'm not sharing any of my concerns with him! He's very happy, and I'm happy. But he doesn't know that in life choices must be made eventually, and I want him to be happy with his choices. How do I help him?

Let him be. He’s happy and thriving. The more you meddle, the less happy he’ll be, and the more likely you are to push him into prematurely specializing in something that he doesn’t end up liking.

[Anonymous]

Don't fall for the pointy BS, OP.

[Anonymous]

He is a child. Let him be!

If you can afford it, expose him to different fields (say thru summer programs or volunteer jobs, etc). He will figure out who he is.

[Anonymous]

Isn't pointy all the rage now?! From the Admission's offices: we want to see breadth and depth, they say. Whose BS is it? It's the colleges that are driving this bus!