What do you do with infants and toddlers at holiday dinners outside the home?
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Anonymous
| I have a 3yo and an infant. Our family is Jewish and will be celebrating Passover with relatives. If a relative is hosting an evening Seder (say 7:30pm) at their home, what do you do about the toddler/babies and bedtimes? We usually would stay with my parents and have the meal there, but not an option this year. Can’t keep the baby up four hours past their bedtime, 3yo could be fine. |
Anonymous
| We get a babysitter. My kids sleep schedules are finally set but precarious and if God himself was attending the event, I wouldn’t change them. |
Anonymous
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If the meal time is set, we'd skip it. Or send just one of us. 7:30 is a super late gathering even for my 5 and 7 year olds. We could certainly still be at a gathering then, but not just arriving. If this is a once year thing, I'd consider blowing past bedtime, but with my kids as toddlers that would have meant lots of crying.
The first few holidays everyone seemed to have forgotten little kids needed early bedtimes. Eventually they adjusted to earlier holiday times. |
Anonymous
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Are you local? Can you leave the infant with a babysitter since sounds like the seder will start after bedtime anyway? Or, can you bring a pack n play or somewhere for the infant to sleep at the relatives?
The last two years we've done zoom seders because of the pandemic, but DC's first seder, we started earlier - I think like 4 or 5 because a lot of kids (I know, not kosher...), and then once DC was ready for bed, I'm pretty sure she slept in the stroller that we had wheeled inside, but I also think DH's aunt would have been fine with us bring a pack n play and setting it up in a bedroom somewhere. It was walking distance to DH"s parents' house, so then we only had to wake her once to transfer to bed, instead of putting her in a carseat, and then to bed at home, but for 1-2 nights a year to have a family meal, I think would have been worth the rough bed time. |
Anonymous
This. I can push them by about a half hour. Mayyyyyybe 45 minutes, but anything else will be a disaster. |
Anonymous
+1 Or we’d go earlier and leave before dinner. Or have one parent leave with the kids before dinner. But my kids (6 months and 2 years) are in a bed for the night at 8pm come hell or high water. |
Anonymous
| We only have super close family local like grandparents. Since kids are little we push everything up. So dinner is at 6. Which is yes before sundown but we are ok with it. Or they come to us and we put the kids down and keep eating. |
Anonymous
| I just let the baby sleep on me and stay for as long as the toddler can keep it together. |
Anonymous
| Either get a babysitter or ask if you can put the kids to bed in the guest room after dinner and then transfer them to the car when it's time to go home. |
Anonymous
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First - you need to call relative and make sure they are fine with you putting up a pack and play or stroller on 2nd floor or room far away from noise of Seder. (as in, not requiring you leave baby in room adjacent to dining room) then once you know you can have baby sleep there out of the fray, you can either do: 1 (easier, I think?) arrive before baby's bedtime and install baby in pack and play upstairs and put to bed at normal time. [of course, this will mean your hosts are fine with you doing this, or it's the plan to arrive 2 hours before meal to socialize before mealtime) 2. put baby to bed at home at normal time, then transfer to carseat asleep (ha!) and go to their house, then transfer back to pack and play or stroller (whichever is easier for YOU) once you get there, hope baby stays asleep - or goes back to sleep after a quick feed A true infant might do all of this - a 9 month old (ish) baby isn't going to be as easily transferred all these times... |
Anonymous
| Thanks all. I would have gotten a babysitter but the way Passover falls this year, it’s also Good Friday/Easter weekend and think it might be a challenge with so many religious holidays. |
Anonymous
| I'd set up a pack and play or see if there's a guest bedroom that we could use at bedtime. |
Anonymous
It’ll be fine. No one celebrates Good Friday with a dinner or night out!!! |
Anonymous
+2. You can find a babysitter. It’s another Friday night |
Anonymous
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I like the book healthy sleep habits happy child. You have your routine and if needed, you can on occasion change up your routine.
It depends about the dinner. We visit OOT relatives for Passover. If I really wanted to go and couldn't get a sitter - I might bring a pack n play and put the baby to bed there at bedtime, and drive home after. |