Is there room for kids to do sports just for fun?

[Anonymous]

We want our tween DD to participate in a physically active hobby, and over the years she’s found several she enjoys. The problem is, they keep getting much too serious, much too soon. Does a 12-year-old really need to practice a sport dozens of hours a week?

I’m sure that somehow all the early pressure ties into the overwhelming demands of college admissions. But does every kid have to approach sports/dance/etc like they’re preparing to compete at a high level? Is there any room for fun? Has anyone else found solutions you can share?

(We’re in DC proper, which limits our geographic options; not sure if this is more a DC problem than elsewhere? But I suspect the mindset is more widespread, even if the specifics aren’t. Curious what others think about the issue…)

[Anonymous]

Is your kid wanting to practice a ton or is it the coach/team pressuring it? If it’s your kid that may be their personality and drive.

[Anonymous]

75% of kids quit sports at age 13 for this reason--it's not fun, it's too competitive, too stressful.

Find a team and a league that is more friendly to what she wants. If you are doing travel, look at rec leagues or 'classic' leagues (what some people call ex-travel players now playing for fun). You can also look at forming a 'Ronin' team-- a team with no master - who plays in random small tournaments here and there.

[Anonymous]

Our DD plays rec/house sports and has a blast. Soccer spring/fall is 1 practice and game per week (season is about 8 weeks long). She loves it, isn't the best but not the worst, and it's about the level of commitment we're all willing to do hahaha. Her coach is amazing though, the team has (more or less) been together for quite a while now.

[Anonymous]

Maybe look at the Parks & Rec department. Sometimes they have rec teams for sports, and I'd guess that they are less competitive.

[Anonymous]

I live in a very sports-forward town and agree with you . Although neither of my kids played it into HS the hands down best sport in our town from from the point of view of balance and fun was Club Ultimate. They happen to be really good, but so much lower key than all the varsity options. And there was an even mellower version for middle school kids.

[Anonymous]

We live two doors down from a boy who is about 14 or 15, and he spends at least an hour a day shooting baskets in his driveway. If she wants to do a sport, just do it. You don't need to take classes. If she wants to run, run. If she wants to play tennis book court time with a ball machine or hit the ball against the wall. If she wants to dance, dance. Etc.

[Anonymous]

DD does figure skating and I love it because she does it as much as she wants. If one week she doesn’t want to go, she doesn’t. She gets out of it whatever she decides to put into it. And with no pressure or no chance I’d getting cut, I think she will stick with it.

[Anonymous]

What’s your definition of too serious? They want to win and will care. Yes. But rec isn’t that time intensive and is usually 1-2 times per week for that age for most sports. Don’t play the sports that practice more frequently.

DD plays rec soccer and house basketball and they aren’t very serious at all. Her rec lacrosse team practices more often and is more serious.

[Anonymous]

Middle schools have sports teams that compete against other schools. I’ve forgotten the schedule but ut used to be ass backwards with softball in the fall and soccer in the spring. As I recall the level of play was not great and after the season started there weren’t any practices. She better get onboard now because the spring sport’s have started.

[Anonymous]

Of course. Just pick an individual sport. Team sports at all levels are ruined by psychotic parents.

[Anonymous]

Our child does Rec soccer and county basketball. Quit the club teams for both sports and just plays for fun with friends. Very happy kid.

[Anonymous]

My kids do rec soccer and love it

[Anonymous]

Of course! It is called REC sports. All kinds of sports, all different levels.

[Anonymous]

Even in rec sports, there are different levels. My kids focus on one sport but play rec in different sports on occasion for fun. We're sure to be honest about ability (low) when we sign them up so they are placed on teams that aren't traditionally competitive.