What happens if you choose not to treat cancer?

[Anonymous]

If I am in my 30s and learn I have breast cancer, what would happen if I just told the doctor that I don’t want to treat it? Is the doctor required to notify my spouse or insurance? Do I get sick and die six months later?

[Anonymous]

you will die for sure. not sure why you would want to do that but it's your call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I am in my 30s and learn I have breast cancer, what would happen if I just told the doctor that I don’t want to treat it? Is the doctor required to notify my spouse or insurance? Do I get sick and die six months later?

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10797344/ It looks like the median life expectance for untreated breast cancer is a little over 2 years.

[Anonymous]

You'd die. I mean, what do you think happens with cancer? I read a journal of a woman who died of breast cancer in the 1800s. She was in incredible pain and it was very debilitating for a year at least. She had stabbing pains in her breast and could feel the lump as it grew larger. Then she died (maybe it spread too, not sure)

I knew several people whose moms died of breast cancer in the 80s and 90s (and they did fight it). Pretty terrible.

[Anonymous]

My mom is an doctor and had a patient who wouldn't take a life saving blood transfusion (she was jehovah's witness and had a DNR). As she died they made both her and her husband sign all sorts of papers acknowledging that they knew this would lead to death and absolving the doctor and hospital of liability. I'd assume if you didn't want to treat your cancer they'd have you sign something. You'd need to have a DNR signed too or else your DH could step in when you were incapacitated.

[Anonymous]

I’m very sorry. I have a friend who chose this rough. She had stage 2, I believe. She did natural treatments, but just died, 6 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom is an doctor and had a patient who wouldn't take a life saving blood transfusion (she was jehovah's witness and had a DNR). As she died they made both her and her husband sign all sorts of papers acknowledging that they knew this would lead to death and absolving the doctor and hospital of liability. I'd assume if you didn't want to treat your cancer they'd have you sign something. You'd need to have a DNR signed too or else your DH could step in when you were incapacitated.

Thank you, this is sort of what I was looking for. I wasn’t sure if the doctor could require you to tell your spouse or get a mental competence certificate if you just opted against treatment.

[Anonymous]

Why would not want to treat?

[Anonymous]

Breast cancer spreads to the bones, lungs, liver, and brain. Then you die. You might get 2-4 years but you'd get more and more painful and debilitating symptoms and it would be a miserable decline without any intervention. You don't just fall over one day after having lived life to the fullest up to that moment.

I don't know what a doctor would do. If you're in your 30s and not stage IV they're going to try to persuade you as hard as they can that you're making a terrible decision. You might get referred for a psych eval to make sure you're not incompetent or mentally ill. If you're legally capable of making your own decisions then HIPAA would prevent them from telling your spouse, but it's not like you're going to be able to hide dying of stage IV cancer. It shows.

I hope this is a thought exercise and not something you or someone else is actively contemplating. I'm 34 and just finished radiation for stage 1 triple-positive IDC yesterday. I finished chemo in January. I don't know what my future holds but I'm giving it my best shot and treatment has been bearable and not what I feared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom is an doctor and had a patient who wouldn't take a life saving blood transfusion (she was jehovah's witness and had a DNR). As she died they made both her and her husband sign all sorts of papers acknowledging that they knew this would lead to death and absolving the doctor and hospital of liability. I'd assume if you didn't want to treat your cancer they'd have you sign something. You'd need to have a DNR signed too or else your DH could step in when you were incapacitated.

Thank you, this is sort of what I was looking for. I wasn’t sure if the doctor could require you to tell your spouse or get a mental competence certificate if you just opted against treatment.

They can not require anything if you do not go to the doctors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you will die for sure. not sure why you would want to do that but it's your call.

I hate to break it to you PP but we will all die for sure.

op what stage is the the cancer? How aggressive is it? I was just diagnosed with DCIS and was told that if I did nothing I had a better than 50/50 chance of the cancer never spreading or impacting my health. The odds of that are also not zero for some stage one cancers. Other cancers will kill you matter what you do.

That said most breast cancers are highly treatable. In the end I had a lumpectomy. It was a super easy surgery and I have no scar. Even the oncologist could not find the scar and said she couldn't tell which breast had the surgery. Also there are studies for DCIS where they take a watchful waiting approach. Of that is the path you choose, would you consider being part of a study to further our understanding?

[Anonymous]

Isabel Coixet's 2003 film, "My Life Without Me," has this plot

[Anonymous]

Op, I hope this is not your situation. I also hope if it is that you will talk to someone. My mom died of metastatic breast cancer over 30 years ago. It spread to her brain and it was awful (seizures, etc). She did treat it but it recurred. I can’t imagine how quickly it would have gone to her brain if she hadn’t treated. Nevertheless, there are so many more treatments now. Please consider all of your options if you are really facing this. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I am in my 30s and learn I have breast cancer, what would happen if I just told the doctor that I don’t want to treat it? Is the doctor required to notify my spouse or insurance? Do I get sick and die six months later?

OP: I was diagnosed with breast cancer this year and I have completed treatment. I know it is scary and overwhelming, and I'm happy to answer as many questions as possible. To know how long you are likely to live untreated (and what your quality of life would be like) it REALLY matters what kind of cancer you have and what stage. What kind of cancer do you have? Your biopsy report will have this information. The most common possibilities are DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ), IDC (invasive ductal carcinoma), ILC (invasive lobular carcinoma), Pagent's disease and/or inflammatory breast cancer. Of these, IDC is the most common form of invasive breast cancer. There are also important differences in terms of your cancer's receptors. For example, is your cancer estrogen or progesterone positive? Is it HER+? HER+ is more aggressive and requires a specific treatment or it will metastasize to your brain, lungs, or bones, and that is not a pleasant way to die. HER+ used to have a bad prognosis but the drug Herceptin has really changed that and now women with this type of cancer can live normal lifespans. Similarly, triple negative (ie not hormone positive or HER+ cancer) is more aggressive but with modern treatments women can survive this cancer and live a long time.

The next important variable is your stage of cancer -- this means how far it has spread. Breast cancer is staged from 0-4, with 4 being the most advanced disease. DCIS (or any in situ cancer) hasn't spread outside its original site. It is considered stage 0 and the long-term survival (if treated) is close to 100%. Stage 1 cancer has invaded surrounding tissue, but not lymph nodes; stage 2 has spread more regionally and may involve some nodes; etc. ALL stages of breast cancer are survivable now, but the earlier the treatment the greater your chance of long-term survival. I know a woman who was diagnosed at stage 4 with bone mets and she has lived 11 years since then and lives a normal life. She has to have treatment every year or two, but otherwise she has a job, a boyfriend, and a happy life.

You should also know that treatment for breast cancer is really not as bad as you may fear. I know women who have had all different types of treatment. I had a double mastectomy and honestly, it was not a big deal to me. I was grateful to have caught my cancer early and I was happy that surgery was an option for me. There are all kinds of reconstruction options and some women are happier with their new breasts (I did not opt for reconstruction and I'm very happy with my new flat aesthetic). My aunt had stage two with node involvement and she had a lumpectomy plus chemo and it was fine for her. She is healthy and happy now, two years later, and did not suffer very much during the chemo. Radiation, which has a terrible reputation in the public imagination, is actually the easiest and absolutely most painless part of treatment for many women.

And here's the important part: the treatment is MUCH better than dying of breast cancer. What happens when women are at end stage is painful and horrible for them and their families. YOU WANT TO AVOID A BREAST CANCER DEATH IF YOU CAN. And most women can! Breast cancer is very survivable with current treatments! I am in a lot of breast cancer support groups and the end stage women are in a lot of pain. They have difficulty breathing because of lung mets and fluid in their lungs. They may be disoriented or suffering from intractable migraines due to brain mets. They may linger in a coma. They may have terrible, terrible pain due to bone mets throughout their body. They may live many months in this state and their families are forced to endure it along with them. It is a very cruel thing to inflict on the people who love you.

I don't know the reason why you are contemplating refusing treatment, but if you are depressed and suicidal, this is not the way that you want to die. Depression during cancer diagnosis is very common. There are people who specialize in treating cancer diagnosis depression and medicines can help too. Sometimes the disease itself causes depression for physiological reasons. Please reach out to your cancer doctor and ask for a psychiatric consult. They will be able to hook you up.

Also, I strongly recommend joining some online breast cancer support groups and reading other women's stories before making any final decisions about treatment. Facebook has lots of these groups and they are wonderful. They are a safe place to vent and share information with people who really understand. A LOT of women feel exactly as you do. You can be honest and you will not be judged. One specific group is called "breast cancer support - I got this!" There are other really great ones that are specific to your type of cancer (eg hormone positive, HER+, etc.). There is a wonderful group called "Young women with breast cancer" that is for women under 50. You would really benefit from reading their stories. They are a great group. There is also a great Maryland breast cancer group on Facebook.

Also, if you want a great local breast specialist (ie surgeon), check out Dr. Pamela Wright. She's part of the John's Hopkin's system. Dr. Wallmark is a very compassionate medical oncologist. I didn't have radiation, but there are some great ROs in the area too. Also if you have a rare or more aggressive cancer, John's Hopkin's in Baltimore has an excellent dedicated cancer center. If I had a complicated case I would also not hesitate to get a second or third opinion at Sloan Kittering in NYC, or MD Anderson in Houston. Dedicated cancer centers have the best survival rates for aggressive or rare cases. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE FOR MEANINGFUL HEALING AND A HEALTHY LIFE AHEAD.

I know how hard this is, but there are so many people on this exact same journey. I am sending you virtual, anonymous love, and so many wishes for healing and health. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m very sorry. I have a friend who chose this rough. She had stage 2, I believe. She did natural treatments, but just died, 6 years later.

Dp. I had a friend with a similar story, but she lived for 8 years after diagnosis.