Exclusively pumping and feeling so discouraged

[Anonymous]

DC is in the NICU and everyone has heavily stressed how important it is to feed breast milk. But my supply SUCKS. I can only get 30mL max per session (total, so 15 from each side). The lactation consultant has told me it should be at least three times that by now and that my supply will probably never go up since it hasn’t by now.

I’m pumping 8+ times a day for 30-60+ minutes at a time, I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on fancy equipment and supplements and online courses, my muscles are constantly cramping up from sitting on the couch so much, I never get to spent time with my other DC because I’m always pumping. All that work and sometimes I’ll literally just pump out a few drops.

Sometimes I want to scream because I’m told one day by LC that I need to add more nighttime pumping sessions, then the next day she’ll tell me I need to rest more.

I don’t know what to do. This isn’t sustainable for me. I pump, have a short amount of time to cook/clean/play with DC, then it’s right back to pumping again. I feel so depressed and I’m crying after every session over how pathetic my supply is. I don’t know what else I can do.

[Anonymous]

This is crazy, OP (and I’m someone who didn’t have supply issues). If you’re committed to giving your baby done breast milk, I’d pump 3 times/day and supplement for the rest.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry, OP. That's so discouraging. I was like this with my twins. My supply sucked and never improved (as in, milk never really came in), and then I spent FAR too long attempting combo feeding (and never sleeping due to the feed/pump cycle) before I finally switched to fully formula at like 9 weeks - way too late IMO. Mine weren't in the NICU, so I can't speak to the specific needs there. But if I were you, I'd set expectations that I was switching to formula or pursuing other options (donor breastmilk? I don't know anything about that.) and not entertain dissenters because this isn't working for you or your family.

[Anonymous]

Hugs OP.

My first was a premie (luckily not in NICU) and breast feeding / pumping was SO stressful! My husband begged me multiple times to stop or at least supplement but for some reason I was really convinced it was best. Our pediatrician (a) told us not to allow anyone into our home (she was early and it was cold / flu season) until she'd had her 8 week shots and (b) that I needed to try nursing her and otherwise pump every two hours. In addition, he and the lactation consultant stressed that we had to sterilize everything between pumping sessions. So I'd get up, try to nurse (she couldn't suckle yet so that didn't really work), pump, either feed her via a syringe or pass of feeding to my husband, and boil water / boil all the parts. I'd sleep for 20-30 mins max at a time and was recovering from severe hemorrhaging from birth. Our 3rd day home we broke down with my mother in law who basically took emergency leave from her job and came and helped. I eventually nursed (she figured it out around 1 month old), but I feel like any added benefits of doing exclusively breast milk were offset by the negative effects. My lack of sleep really contributed to depression and made it hard to bond with my child initially. She's nine now and I remember our early days as so stressful and unhappy.

When our second was born I told myself we weren't doing that again. It turns out she was full term and a better nurser, but I introduced formula early on. I didn't worry about setting an alarm in the middle of the night to pump if she was sleeping, or rushing home to pump or nurse if the line at the grocery store was longer than I'd anticipated etc. I nursed her mornings and nights and gave her breast milk or a mix of breast milk and formula for her other feedings.

My first nursed to 9 months, with no formula (but was eating solids by then) when I stopped. My second nursed (with formula sometimes and solids) to about 14 months. I was able to go longer because it was a much more pleasant experience. I actually had a LOT of supply (especially with my first) and still found it really hard to manage with a premie.

Huge amounts of water and a hands free bra both help if you want to keep trying to make it work, but I really think you should back off a bit (or entirely!). I personally didn't notice differences in things like health outcomes between my exclusively nursed infant and my non-exclusively nursed infant. (Both had chronic ear infections - which supposedly nursing helps protect against, and both needed ear tubes and removal of adenoids. My exclusively nursed child eventually needed tonsils removed too.)

[Anonymous]

In terms of supplements, I heard fenugreek can sometimes decrease supply if that’s one you’re using. And then trying to massage while pumping to make sure you’re getting full output.

[Anonymous]

Can you see a different lactation consultant? It sounds like this particular consultant is adding to your stress at this point.

And if your baby can only tolerate breastmilk right now, can you ask for a prescription for donor milk? Until your baby can be on formula?

[Anonymous]

Your husband/partner needs to step up more. All you should be doing is cuddling your kids and pumping.

Relax, drink tons of water and smell your baby’s dirty clothes when you pump (weird but it works).

Your supply will increase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is in the NICU and everyone has heavily stressed how important it is to feed breast milk. But my supply SUCKS. I can only get 30mL max per session (total, so 15 from each side). The lactation consultant has told me it should be at least three times that by now and that my supply will probably never go up since it hasn’t by now.

I’m pumping 8+ times a day for 30-60+ minutes at a time, I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on fancy equipment and supplements and online courses, my muscles are constantly cramping up from sitting on the couch so much, I never get to spent time with my other DC because I’m always pumping. All that work and sometimes I’ll literally just pump out a few drops.

Sometimes I want to scream because I’m told one day by LC that I need to add more nighttime pumping sessions, then the next day she’ll tell me I need to rest more.

I don’t know what to do. This isn’t sustainable for me. I pump, have a short amount of time to cook/clean/play with DC, then it’s right back to pumping again. I feel so depressed and I’m crying after every session over how pathetic my supply is. I don’t know what else I can do.

Stop cooking and cleaning. Play with your child and pump for your baby. That’s it. Mostly deep breathing and water. You’re right about it not being sustainable and it will not need to be. Your baby needs breast milk right now but this will be over soon. You can switch to formula when the baby is ready.

Call in the troops to help you (parents, friends, family). If you have a husband or partner insist they step the f up.

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, OP. I never did well with pumping; it stressed me out so much and I didn’t even have the pressure you do for it to work. You’re doing so much and clearly always such an amazing mother. Agree that you shouldn’t have to do anything at all but love your kid and pump, that tons of water is good for breastfeeding. I would actually recommend Gatorade — you really need a ton of calories too. When my babies were still getting their birthweight back I’d try to go through at least 1 big bottle of Gatorade every 24 hours. Hope your ped gives you the okay to move to combo feeding or formula soon. <3

[Anonymous]

OP, how long ago was your baby born? I agree this sounds crazy and totally non-sustainable. Hugs. But, curious how long this has been going on? If just a short time and your milk is still likely to increase, a lot of pumping should help it get there (though pumping for 30-60 minutes 8 times a day is bonkers - I can't believe a LC would suggest this). I would also suggest a different LC. Not sure where you are located, but I could recommend one around Arlington, and I imagine other posters might have suggestions for different areas. You need someone who will also take your wellbeing into account.

[Anonymous]

DC1 was born at 32 weeks and spent weeks in the NICU, but we were able to get some nursing going after a few days, thank goodness, because I cannot pump to save my life. It's painful, even with a hospital-grade pump, and supply is ridiculously small.

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP!!!You're doing so much already!!!

Would it be possible to get your baby to nurse?

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for all the kind words.

H has stepped it up a ton at home. But he’s still working so we can save his leave for when baby gets home, so there’s still a good amount on me. Which is fine, I know I’ll get severely depressed if all I do is sit around all day.

I decided I’m not going to look at or track my output anymore. It’s so stressful for me to see the amount go down every day, and I can’t control how much my body makes. So instead I’m going to focus on the things I can control, like drinking water and pumping a reasonable amount. If my supply dries up, it dries up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for all the kind words.

H has stepped it up a ton at home. But he’s still working so we can save his leave for when baby gets home, so there’s still a good amount on me. Which is fine, I know I’ll get severely depressed if all I do is sit around all day.

I decided I’m not going to look at or track my output anymore. It’s so stressful for me to see the amount go down every day, and I can’t control how much my body makes. So instead I’m going to focus on the things I can control, like drinking water and pumping a reasonable amount. If my supply dries up, it dries up.

I’m glad to see this update. You’re doing a great job, are a great mother to your baby, and deserve to be taken care of too.

You can ask the hospital about donor milk if your baby really needs breast milk. I’m sorry this has been so hard - it will get easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you so much for all the kind words.

H has stepped it up a ton at home. But he’s still working so we can save his leave for when baby gets home, so there’s still a good amount on me. Which is fine, I know I’ll get severely depressed if all I do is sit around all day.

I decided I’m not going to look at or track my output anymore. It’s so stressful for me to see the amount go down every day, and I can’t control how much my body makes. So instead I’m going to focus on the things I can control, like drinking water and pumping a reasonable amount. If my supply dries up, it dries up.

A very good plan OP! Best wishes. Give us an update in a few weeks.

[Anonymous]

Sending support and soft hugs. I like your plan. You can only control what you can control.