High school student too anxious to ask for 504 accommodations

[Anonymous]

My son has a 504 plan for a mild hearing loss. Now with masks it has made the situation worse. He is in 9th grade and is supposed to get preferential seating, lecture notes, CC played if they are watching videos, and extra time on tests. He is too shy to ask for any of these accommodations, so he doesn't get any except in one class. That teacher has been supportive and is willing to offer all his accommodations and extra ones she feels would be helpful. My son doesn't want me to email the teachers because he thinks it will make the situation worse but he also doesn't want to talk to the teachers. Anyone have any advice that has experienced this?

[Anonymous]

I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

[Anonymous]

OP do you have a school system point of contact for your DS' hearing loss? We are in MCPS where the Deaf & Hard of Hearing staff are overworked and over scheduled but very good about working with students on self-advocacy. You may need to escalate to an IEP in order to access that type of service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

I tried emailing one teacher because he didn't understand the directions, so he turned in something a day late. He is not supposed to be penalized for late work up to a week. The teacher said she didn't know he had a 504, even though the vice principal told me she had sent them out when I emailed asking in October for a copy. So I contacted her and she sent another copy. But in the end, he still was penalized for turning in the assignment late. It never got fixed. I just don't know if I should be the one to email or by high school he should. I tried having him email his teacher by sitting next to him and composing it but the teacher took such a long time to answer it wasn't helpful. He is in a couple of honors classes, and I think teachers don't want to deal with 504's in honors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

Yes and no. Yes, email the teachers, get the ball rolling. But do encourage learning self advocacy now. College profs are notoriously less approachable than HS teachers.

Before school, lunch, after school - all offer times that other kids aren't around and make it easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

I tried emailing one teacher because he didn't understand the directions, so he turned in something a day late. He is not supposed to be penalized for late work up to a week. The teacher said she didn't know he had a 504, even though the vice principal told me she had sent them out when I emailed asking in October for a copy. So I contacted her and she sent another copy. But in the end, he still was penalized for turning in the assignment late. It never got fixed. I just don't know if I should be the one to email or by high school he should. I tried having him email his teacher by sitting next to him and composing it but the teacher took such a long time to answer it wasn't helpful. He is in a couple of honors classes, and I think teachers don't want to deal with 504's in honors.

It's a joint process. Help him write the emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

I tried emailing one teacher because he didn't understand the directions, so he turned in something a day late. He is not supposed to be penalized for late work up to a week. The teacher said she didn't know he had a 504, even though the vice principal told me she had sent them out when I emailed asking in October for a copy. So I contacted her and she sent another copy. But in the end, he still was penalized for turning in the assignment late. It never got fixed. I just don't know if I should be the one to email or by high school he should. I tried having him email his teacher by sitting next to him and composing it but the teacher took such a long time to answer it wasn't helpful. He is in a couple of honors classes, and I think teachers don't want to deal with 504's in honors.

Help him, until he can help himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

I tried emailing one teacher because he didn't understand the directions, so he turned in something a day late. He is not supposed to be penalized for late work up to a week. The teacher said she didn't know he had a 504, even though the vice principal told me she had sent them out when I emailed asking in October for a copy. So I contacted her and she sent another copy. But in the end, he still was penalized for turning in the assignment late. It never got fixed. I just don't know if I should be the one to email or by high school he should. I tried having him email his teacher by sitting next to him and composing it but the teacher took such a long time to answer it wasn't helpful. He is in a couple of honors classes, and I think teachers don't want to deal with 504's in honors.

Help him, until he can help himself.

Help him compose an email or I should email?

[Anonymous]

My 9th grade DD’s therapist has been great about helping her work through these kinds of issues. We’re trying to encourage her to self-advocate, but she gets frustrated with herself and shuts down when we remind or try to coach her through things.

Her therapist has been great about helping her pinpoint the root of her anxieties, and finding a way to tackle these kinds of “simple” tasks that leave her paralyzed. It’s still not easy for her, but she’s getting much better about it, and she now has a trusted resource when something seems insurmountable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d email the teachers, let him advocate for himself when he gets in college.

Yes and no. Yes, email the teachers, get the ball rolling. But do encourage learning self advocacy now. College profs are notoriously less approachable than HS teachers.

Before school, lunch, after school - all offer times that other kids aren't around and make it easier.

Also, if he is too anxious to talk to his high school teachers, it will not be easier in college. It sounds like he may need treatment for his social anxiety.

[Anonymous]

IME (parent of 2 kids who went through HS with IEPs or 504s), it is really necessary for the parent to be involved in supporting accommodation requests with teachers because there are a lot of teachers who are nasty or say no inappropriately.

But, you have to partner with the kid and have a system in place. Our system is - parent or student emails a polite reminder at the beginning if each new teacher assignment w/a one page list of all accommodations and highlighting some essential ones that require planning - like test taking time, calculator, quite space, etc. Parent and case manager are cc’d.

Student self-advocates and when there is a problem tells parent. All problems are documented by student (with parental support in writing email) w/ cc to case mgr. This is basically, a polite email thanking teacher for rectifying an accommodation mistake, or outlining a failure and requesting a fix.

If teacher continues to refuse to comply, 1st email is forwarded to principal w/ additional information about refusal to comply. If principal refuses to rectify situation, 3rd email is sent to associate superintendent for special education and/or resolution/equity forwarding principal’s refusal to comply along with additional information about refusal. All mistakes are usually corrected after 3rd email.

It is extremely important to have a written paper trail.

Student needs parental support! I have been shocked how many teachers make students feel bad about asking for accommodations and essentially call them lazy or cheaters!

It’s really important to support students - they don’t magically learn by themselves and they know nothing about the law that supports their requests (nor do the teachers who often illegally refuse or alter accommodations in the plan.)