I'm Biting My Tongue

post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:44
quote
Anonymous
... and it is starting to hurt. DW had an affair. I've not confronted directly about it. But she has been making accusations at me about having an affair and wanting to know about my female co-workers and friends. I really just want to throw it at her and say please tell me about X. And before you do, please know I have all the documentation - your texts, e-mails, etc. - detailing what and when you met him (including our home) and what you did. However, I am also filing for divorce, and have not said anything to her so as not to tip my hand as this will be a part of the divorce filing.
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:46
quote
Anonymous
She already knows that you know about her affair.
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:49
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:She already knows that you know about her affair.


I'm not sure she does. The only thing that tipped me off was a comment to me by my adult daughter, who then quickly tried to reel it back.
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:52
quote
Anonymous
I went hunting, and given that my W is a digital idiot, I was able to find a lot of evidence. Some of it is pretty sordid. Yet, she likes to paint herself as a dutiful mother and wife. A divorce is her worst fear because she derives a lot of her identity from being married. It is going to be ugly. I just want to minimize the ugliness. At least the adultery will keep her from getting alimony.
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:53
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:... and it is starting to hurt. DW had an affair. I've not confronted directly about it. But she has been making accusations at me about having an affair and wanting to know about my female co-workers and friends. I really just want to throw it at her and say please tell me about X. And before you do, please know I have all the documentation - your texts, e-mails, etc. - detailing what and when you met him (including our home) and what you did. However, I am also filing for divorce, and have not said anything to her so as not to tip my hand as this will be a part of the divorce filing.


Keep your powder dry, amigo. I can only imagine how hard that is to do. And sure you’d get a really, really satisfying few minutes out of a confrontation. But it’s going to be so much more powerful, and so much more beneficial to you to just keep your mouth shut and absolutely chop her legs out from under her with the filing. G/L.
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:53
quote
Anonymous
Well, did you have an affair too, OP? Not judging, but if you live in a state where you can weaponize your spouse's affair, I'd be careful to be squeaky clean, if I were you...
[Post New]02/15/2022 20:56
quote
Anonymous
She can tell you are acting differently towards her and knows something is up.
[Post New]02/15/2022 21:00
quote
Anonymous
She knows you know.
And she may be gearing up for a divorce from her end too.
Good luck and if you have kids focus on their well-being now.
[Post New]02/15/2022 21:58
quote
Anonymous
Between now and when you have her served, try to have all the sex you can with her and be especially demanding of BJs. Might as well get all you can, while you can.
[Post New]02/15/2022 22:14
quote
Anonymous
No. That would be condonation.
[Post New]02/15/2022 22:20
quote
Anonymous
You must absolutely stay silent. Your silence about the affair can be leverage at settlement.

Say what you want after the divorce.

[Post New]02/15/2022 22:25
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She already knows that you know about her affair.


I'm not sure she does. The only thing that tipped me off was a comment to me by my adult daughter, who then quickly tried to reel it back.


So your daughter knows and is covering for her mom? WTF
[Post New]02/15/2022 22:36
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:... and it is starting to hurt. DW had an affair. I've not confronted directly about it. But she has been making accusations at me about having an affair and wanting to know about my female co-workers and friends. I really just want to throw it at her and say please tell me about X. And before you do, please know I have all the documentation - your texts, e-mails, etc. - detailing what and when you met him (including our home) and what you did. However, I am also filing for divorce, and have not said anything to her so as not to tip my hand as this will be a part of the divorce filing.


They met in your home?
[Post New]02/15/2022 22:37
quote
Anonymous
How long ago was the affair? Is it over?
[Post New]02/15/2022 22:39
quote
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I went hunting, and given that my W is a digital idiot, I was able to find a lot of evidence. Some of it is pretty sordid. Yet, she likes to paint herself as a dutiful mother and wife. A divorce is her worst fear because she derives a lot of her identity from being married. It is going to be ugly. I just want to minimize the ugliness. At least the adultery will keep her from getting alimony.


What tipped you off to go hunting? Did you suspect something?
post reply Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Message Quick Reply
Go to: 

Search   Recent Topics   Hottest Topics