International move and toddler transition
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
We are going to be moving abroad in a couple of months with a two year old.
I had told myself this would be a great age to do the big move because she is so little. But now that it’s approaching and as I think through all of the logistics, I’m getting more nervous. She is very aware of our house as “my house” and “home” and unlike moving within the US, we won’t be able to quickly set up her new bedroom with her things. Instead, we will be emptying the house to sell, flying over with just suitcases, living in a temporary apartment, then moving into our long-term apartment and then eventually our shipping crate with some familiar things (no furniture, but things like toys and books) will arrive. Any advice for how to smooth the transition? Prep her for the move? Or am I overthinking this? |
Anonymous
|
She will do great - far better than you will!
Take one full suitcase and pack her sheets and bedding (unwashed so they smell like home). Put her familiar stuffed animals and favorite books into the suitcase. Pack something unbreakable from her wall. If she has a plate or cup she likes to use put it in there. Fit anything else that you can in there and this travels with you - not shipped. This is home to a two-year-old. Trust me. Where are you moving, OP? |
Anonymous
| You’re overthinking it but it’s understandable. She won’t even remember the old home eventually (or at least not much). The transition time might be challenging but you’ll all get through it. |
Anonymous
| She’ll do great! We moved when my DD was 2.5 and she remembers nothing about our former house/city |
Anonymous
+1. Ship your stuff and pack hers. And can we please stop using “overthinking”? In everything but especially something like this. My two year old missed our old house when we moved just five miles away. Carry everything you can with you to surround her with her “stuff” |
Anonymous
Not remembering is not the same as not being effected by it longterm. PP here and you need to make her world as secure and safe as possible with her things and your attitude. |
Anonymous
+1. Talk generally about the move and maybe read a book with her about moving, so at least she will have heard about and thought about what to expect. If there are things that you can give her choices about, you should do so. Maybe ask her what she wants in her backpack for the plane trip, and let her choose a few things that she’d like to keep close. If you’re moving somewhere very different from where you are now, consider bringing laundry detergent or soap with you and maybe a blanket or throw from her bed. PP’s point about having things that smell like home is excellent! |
Anonymous
| It's really a great age. We moved internationally when my daughter was 23 months and we did zero prep- she was fine. There was more prep involved for my older one who was about to enter K- he was more aware, had more questions etc. My daughter just sort of went with the flow. |
Anonymous
Military spouse and frequent mover here. She won’t remember and it won’t affect her. (Whoever said it will be harder on you is correct!). At this age, YOU are her home. As long as she has you (and you sound lovely and very loving) she will be fine. A familiar stuffy or a blanket are great. When my son was almost 3, we moved from overseas back to the United States, straight into an Airbnb. Kid loved it. It had a view of the highway, and he loved to watch the traffic lol. When the time came to move into our condo, it was probably some of the most stressful days of my life. We had boxes and boxes of stuff coming from around the country that had been in long term storage. Our home was a chaotic mess. I was thinking, he’s going to hate this! Well one of the boxes was a see-through tote that had some old Thomas the trains in it. He walked in, didn’t even notice the hundreds of boxes all around, saw the Thomas trains and started playing. Just perfectly happy. As long as there is a clean and safe place for them to sleep and they can be near you, kiddo will be fine! |
Anonymous
|
I moved 7 times by the time I was 15. No worse for the wear, I promise you!
She will grow to be a resilient kid and probably adult and she’ll have great fun doing it. Do bring the familiar key things like studies or whatever else she is attached to. |
Anonymous
|
Honestly, it was a tough move for us at that age so I'll respectfully disagree with some of the previous posters here. We moved back to the States at that age. My child was happy but very clingy. I could not go to the bathroom without him wailing...I think he was afraid I was going to disappear like everything else he knew before. And I feel as though we tried to prep him as best we could, including all the suggestions provided above. He started prek a few months after we arrived and the transition issues continued--problems with urination, etc. It was a challenging period.
I'll agree that he no longer remembers any of it five years later. But it was a tough time. I'm sure it's very kid-specific. |
Anonymous
| It won't bother your kid anymore than moving to a new house in the DC area would. Kids change houses, daycares, schools all the time. As long as you have your kids favorite stuffed animals, toys, and such they will be fine. |
Anonymous
| We moved overseas when my kids were 5, 3, and 6 months. It was so stressful as we prepared, but the move itself was pretty easy. I will say it was hardest on the 3 year old, because my daughter oldest went straight into bilingual kindergarten. My 3 year old had to do his schooling in French, and it was a much tougher transition than I had expected (mostly because the culture was not welcoming to foreigners at all). We had to work very hard to support him by organizing playdates with kids in his class, which helped a ton. He was over the initial difficulties within a few months, and the entire experience became a wonderful memory. We moved back home after 4 years, and they all still talk about going back (though I'm sure their memories are rooted in our conversations and photos as much as anything else). |
Anonymous
|
We moved at 2.5. What made me feel super shitty was my kid had just learned her address, had a bff in our building and was super attached because she had just been home for 5 months straight due to COVID.
Other than wanting to sleep in our bed for about the first month instead of her own room, and a first week of asking about her old house, she was totally fine. Just remind yourself to be patient with them and things that you might think aren’t associated (picky eating, etc) might be, so try to show a little less rigidity when it comes to stuff that is just them dealing with the newness. |