Dedicating Life To GF's Dreams

[Anonymous]

My stepson is in a relationship since high school. They are graduating college in May and he is heading for a lucrative engineering job. She'll start an MPH and apply to medical schools in next cycle. Is there a hope for any relationship to survive a decade of time consuming study and expenses while other person financing and bending his geographical radius limited. She is amazing and they love each other but everyone is telling them to split because its not fair for him to spend a decade chasing her path. I didn't offer any opinion but do feel concerned for them.

[Anonymous]

So, if he wants to date a woman with a high income and good job, there's going to be some kind of grad school. If it's law, there will be school and maybe a clerkship some random place. If it's science people travel all over the world for their PhD. Of course the relationship can survive if they are right for each other. People do long-distance relationships all the time. That's what it takes if you're an ambitious couple and want to end up with two good careers. It's normal.

You sound out of date and sexist BTW.

[Anonymous]

He's not dedicating his life to her dreams FFS! He's getting an engineering degree while being in a relationship that is possibly going to involve some years long-distance. Or he might move with her-- oh noes. Fortunately engineering jobs can be had in many places! This seems perfectly fine to me. Are you uncomfortable with the notion that her career is important to the couple?

[Anonymous]

No. Both careers should be equally important. He seems to be the one having to compromise and spend the most due to their circumstances. Obviously, she has no control over the process so not holding it against her.

[Anonymous]

2 years MPH
4 years MD
3-8 years residency & fellowship
If you love each other, supporting each other is an integral part of a relationship but this is just a very lengthy sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My stepson is in a relationship since high school. They are graduating college in May and he is heading for a lucrative engineering job. She'll start an MPH and apply to medical schools in next cycle. Is there a hope for any relationship to survive a decade of time consuming study and expenses while other person financing and bending his geographical radius limited. She is amazing and they love each other but everyone is telling them to split because its not fair for him to spend a decade chasing her path. I didn't offer any opinion but do feel concerned for them.

They appear to be highly intelligent adults and more than capable of making adult choices and decisions. You and the other but-in-sky's should mind your own business and leave them alone!

[Anonymous]

There is a reason young people can't keep good relationships and keep floating from one to other, nobody wants to go an inch out of their way for the other person because they either don't care or fear getting dumped after making sacrifices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 years MPH
4 years MD
3-8 years residency & fellowship
If you love each other, supporting each other is an integral part of a relationship but this is just a very lengthy sacrifice.

Women do it all the time so can he

[Anonymous]

Your first mistake is being a stepmother.

Your second is being concerned about an adult child that is not yours.

Neither ends up well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a reason young people can't keep good relationships and keep floating from one to other, nobody wants to go an inch out of their way for the other person because they either don't care or fear getting dumped after making sacrifices.

This

[Anonymous]

Luckily many engineering jobs can be done remotely now. Sounds like he’s headed down a path of being very financially secure. That’s also correlated with a stable marriage. Lucky him and lucky you too.

[Anonymous]

I’m more concerned that they’ve been in one relationship. That can’t be healthy and will not end well.

[Anonymous]

I thought this was going to be a post about a kid out of HS not going to college or something.

You have two successful adults who appear to be communicating openly and one of whom has a pretty portable job.

You hit the jackpot on adult children and don't even seem to know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Both careers should be equally important. He seems to be the one having to compromise and spend the most due to their circumstances. Obviously, she has no control over the process so not holding it against her.

I don’t see him compromising if he has a field he can do almost anywhere. It’s not like he’s a commodities trader in Chicago who needs to give that up because the best MPH program is in Baltimore and there’s nothing for him there.

[Anonymous]

He’s dedicating his “life” to her “dream” (lucrative career) because of some geographic limitations? That’s pretty over dramatic…