Jen Hatmaker
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Anonymous
| Woman who has no real job other than to shill crap that fills landfills writes post about being the Sunday/Holiday scaries. On Labor Day of all days. Have a seat Jen. |
Anonymous
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“No one taught us to be girls” as I wear a tight pencil slit skirt to a sports bar on game day.
#notliketheothergirls |
Anonymous
| What's up with Big Sis and her Sunday Scary post? What is causing her so much anxiety and stress? Didn't she just have a bunch of luxurious MeCamps and MeCruises? You'd think she would be the farthest thing in the world from a manic, stress filled wreck right now. |
Anonymous
Her sisters both looked like they put on sweats and skipped the makeup and then there's Jen in a pencil skirt (?!) wearing a pound of makeup on her face. Sure. Super tomboyish. Not at all girly. Which makes it seem like they usually do the sweats and no makeup thing and Jen went off script so that she could make a post about it. And this makes no sense at all. Why would you be afraid to not wear makeup when you've blasted your face all over the place wearing cleansing masks, etc? So ridiculous. |
Anonymous
| I commented on one of her recent posts, about the constant shilling, and she BLOCKED ME! On Facebook. When I search for her, she does not even come up anymore....guess I hit a nerve! |
Anonymous
| I read the “Monday Night Scaries” post, and I thought she had some good ideas: breathing exercises, grounding, etc. But the whole time I was reading, I was trying to figure out what she was going to try to sell. And there was nothing! Someone in the comments asked what meditation app she uses, and she answered, but there was nary a code or a link or a promo in the whole post. Of course, the vague reference to her divorce (anxiety entered my life 4 years ago), but she is totally healed from that so …. |
Anonymous
Feels like she may have been trolling for a real man! |
Anonymous
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Droolings.
Hello from Capsticher Land. I know you’ve all been waiting with grated breath, COMMUNITY, for an update from moi. First, BIG BIG BIG news. I’ve got two new Me Courses coming soon. They’re not quite ready for prime time but MY TEAM is working furiously to get them in your eager little corn-eating paws soon. We’re still workshopping titles but one will focus on how to get my unique lewk, and yes, the eight-step tutorial on how to get my ADORABLE new TikTok hair will be included. You might think it’s a simple process for me to twist the crown of my brittle bleached locks into a rubber band but there’s a delicate skillset involved, TRUST YOUR GIRL. I’ll also cover how to get the exact silvery, stripey look I achieve with my undereye concealer and provide you with a list of lipsticks to grab that will give you a variety of harsh, cakey shades to choose from. Think DAY INTO EVENING, droolings. One of the best things about my makeup lewk is that there are no blending sponges required - ever - and anyone who suggests I need one will be deleted and blocked because MY TEAM does not play around with the illusion of 1000 percent fan adoration. AND THAT’S NOT ALL. All sign-ups will get bonus shopping links for ultra-deep discounts on my fave hair vitamins, last-last season’s Able bags, and big, dangly feather earrings, which will be back in fashion. Someday. Maybe. We hope because I have a craptastic amount of big dumb earrings, LOLZ. My other Me Course will cover how to talk on video LIKE A GIRL BOSS. Whether you’re an aspiring influencer or just want to add a pop of irreverence to your next Zoom call, I’ll go over on-camera techniques that you’ve never thought of, like putting your cue cards to one side instead of in the middle - that random shift of the eyes makes you SO RELATABLE - and the importance of finding a signature move like an awkward little hand clapping sequence - LOLZ but the clappity claps are MINE, beleaguereds - plus a bonus section on how to use the Perfect Body app to think yourself out ever-so-slightly when you were feeling a bit bloated from those extra wines last night. And, if anyone comments about your head looking too big for your body, delete and block, droolings. DELETE. AND. BLOCK. If you haven’t checked out the revamped FOR THE LAME podcast, you must do that pronto. PLEASE. It is so good. PLEASE. I’ve got my new sidekick, Crunchy Amy. She’s crunchy in the essential oils/menstrual cup kind of way, not crunchy like the roots of my hair kind of way. We are SO HILARIOUS together. There’s random whispering and lots of focus on me, no matter who we have on the pod. Every hero needs a sidekick and Crunchy Amy is mine. #LoveHerSoMuch And, finally, droolings, although I know SO MANY of you aspire to be like me and wait eagerly for my hot takes on everything from lipstick shades to what to make for dinner, I’m not like other girls. I’m way edgier. I watch football and post pictures of saucy meat - that one was for you @thetrevorbarrettproject <wink emoji wink emoji eggplant emoji> BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #TrevorIsStillMyBoyfriend Sure, other girls might enjoy watching football, but I’m different. I watch football in a pencil skirt that doesn’t match anything I’m wearing or represent my team colors. I also once went to a weiner museum and YELLED the <whispers> F-word in the ear of my producer, which makes two points: One, I have a producer, which makes me sound RIDICOULSY important, and two, I say bad naughty words. Tra la la. |
Anonymous
More power to her. She needs someone geographically desirable and probably someone more manly. Tyler has about as much sex appeal as Tim Walz. I doubt she'll be the one to initiate leaving this whatevership but I can see her hanging onto him until she feels confident that she has another option. |
Anonymous
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These made my day:
"a list of lipsticks to grab that will give you a variety of harsh, cakey shades to choose from" and "saucy meat - that one was for you @thetrevorbarrettproject <wink emoji wink emoji eggplant emoji> BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #TrevorIsStillMyBoyfriend" |
Anonymous
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Jane -
I live for your updates! Never stop providing me with your sparkling insights. Your adoring drooling. |
Anonymous
| Cheers to Jane! |
Anonymous
The podcast hasn't been good for a long time. Big Sis is too full of herself to get some actual coaching on how to appear professional on her podcast. The constant primping and fidgeting, the "back to me" when she's talking to a guest who has something to say or promote, and just the basic interview skills that anyone can learn. I'm sure there's a YouTube video on that somewhere. On the other hand, she's too insecure to get a cohost who is her equal and instead picks a try-hard yes girl who has nary an online presence - not even a bio on the podcast page because...well, I'm at a loss on why she picked Amy, honestly. She is very dull. She had the chance to breathe some new life into her podcast by picking someone different from her. Someone younger or someone from one of the marginalized groups she's constantly saying she supports. Instead, she picked another lily-white Austin wannabe deconstruction blah blah mom that she claims is "so different" from her but who is actually pretty much cut from the same cloth. If you're trying to get your recently published book in front of as many people as possible, trust me, your publicist and publishers aren't going to be super picky about what podcasts you go on to promote it. I look at her podcast page every so often and it has been a long time since I've found one that was remotely appealing. It would have to be someone/something I'm mega interested in to tune in and have over half the episode be about Jen interrupting and blathering about hereslf. |
Anonymous
Please dear God tell me he didn’t really say that… |
Anonymous
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Regarding today’s advice essay to moms of littles, she actually started with a piece of terrible advice:
“1 – He is not reading/adding/writing as quickly as his lil’ classmates. “I think he is behind,” your mom might say to you. How will he make it in this life if he cannot tell the difference between a B and a D?? He’ll get there — and stop worrying. Kids develop at wildly different paces.” Up to 15% of kids are dyslexic and will need identification and significant support to learn to read. And the earlier they are identified, the much much better it is for the child. So a mom who is concerned about her child’s reading progress should NOT just chill out and give it time. She should start doing a little reading on the subject and asking knowledgeable people if she should get her kid tested. But here of course is Jen just handing out bad, uninformed, blanket advice in her usual lazy way. And then there’s this bit from the beginning of the essay: “Internet, if I had back even one-millionth of the minutes I spent worrying about [[checks notes]] absolutely everything, I could have brokered world peace with the free time.” Her numeric exaggerations are just so tiresome. She uses them constantly and they’ve long lost their humor. |