Toilet trained toddler won't use daycare potty

[Anonymous]

We fully toilet trained our toddler during a recent exposure quarantine. Within a day she was accident-free and self-initiating, within 3 days in underwear except for naps and bedtime and within a week, she was comfortably using the potty in public places (with the help of a toilet seat ring).

We returned to daycare and daycare informed us she won't use the potty there at all. They asked us to start bringing her in a diaper with underwear over it and they would take the diaper off on arrival and work on it gradually. It's been a couple of weeks and she's still in a diaper every day at pickup, so I'm not sure if it's actually coming off on arrival - and as soon as she gets home, she poops or pees in the diaper before we can take it off.

I feel like the diaper use may be causing her to regress. After several weeks of at-home success, she's started having some accidents again. But I also feel like the daycare classroom is not my turf and suspect managing 10 other kids makes it difficult for them to closely manage my kid's potty use in underwear only. I think only one other kid is potty-trained.

Say something? Or sit back, trust they have a plan and be patient?

[Anonymous]

Trust them. They've done it more times than you. For what it's worth, my DD is in a class of 15+ and they've had no trouble managing her potty use. Occasional accidents, but nothing atypical of the process. She wears a Pullup for sleeping, but that's the last hurdle.

[Anonymous]

How old is she and what the percentage of toilet trained to untrained in her classroom?

I agree the diaper plan seems sketch at best. My experience is that a child in a diaper will go in the diaper, whether they know how to use the toilet or not. It's not weird to them because they were so recently using diapers all the time.

But I wonder if part of what is happening is linked to toilet habits at school. It can be tricky to have a newly trained child in a classroom where all the other kids are either long trained or not trained at all, because newly trained kids generally still need more prompting and assistance until they acclimate. It can take a few days to a few weeks of frequent reminders and handholding to get them independent enough to not have accidents regularly, depending on the kid. My kid took longer than others because she is quiet and a bit intense so she'd get focused on a school activity and ignore her own signals, plus did not like approaching the teachers to ask for things. So she needed prompts 2-3x a day for about a month before the accidents totally stopped.

But she wore underwear the whole time and we just sent tons of extra clothes and made sure she went at home before school so she'd start off the day dry. I think she had one week where she had an accident daily, but we did a reset over the weekend (potty chart with new stickers, which she hadn't needed at home, some new rewards for staying dry all day, etc.) and the next week it was only 2-3 accidents and then just one the next week and the week after that. Obviously the accidents are no fun for the daycare teachers but also -- they are daycare teachers and they've seen it all.

I'd really try to talk them out of the diaper. I bet if you got rid of it completely, she'd have accidents for a bit and then acclimate.

[Anonymous]

She just turned two.

Only one other potty trained child who trained the same week. No one else is.

[Anonymous]

This is so, so normal. Using the bathroom at school is much different than in a home situation or even out in public with a parent. (We actually had to turn our automatic flushers off because they were scaring the toddlers who were potty training.) Believe me when I say that daycare workers WANT your child to be potty trained. And yes they are used to accidents but potty accidents are time consuming and cause unhygenic situations (soiled carpets, furniture, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old is she and what the percentage of toilet trained to untrained in her classroom?

I agree the diaper plan seems sketch at best. My experience is that a child in a diaper will go in the diaper, whether they know how to use the toilet or not. It's not weird to them because they were so recently using diapers all the time.

But I wonder if part of what is happening is linked to toilet habits at school. It can be tricky to have a newly trained child in a classroom where all the other kids are either long trained or not trained at all, because newly trained kids generally still need more prompting and assistance until they acclimate. It can take a few days to a few weeks of frequent reminders and handholding to get them independent enough to not have accidents regularly, depending on the kid. My kid took longer than others because she is quiet and a bit intense so she'd get focused on a school activity and ignore her own signals, plus did not like approaching the teachers to ask for things. So she needed prompts 2-3x a day for about a month before the accidents totally stopped.

But she wore underwear the whole time and we just sent tons of extra clothes and made sure she went at home before school so she'd start off the day dry. I think she had one week where she had an accident daily, but we did a reset over the weekend (potty chart with new stickers, which she hadn't needed at home, some new rewards for staying dry all day, etc.) and the next week it was only 2-3 accidents and then just one the next week and the week after that. Obviously the accidents are no fun for the daycare teachers but also -- they are daycare teachers and they've seen it all.

I'd really try to talk them out of the diaper. I bet if you got rid of it completely, she'd have accidents for a bit and then acclimate.

Not invalid, but different experience here. My DD trained at just over 2yo (in daycare) and she hated to go in a diaper or Pullup after getting a taste of potty training routine -- to the point where she was asking for underwear at night before she was physically ready to hold for 12hrs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she and what the percentage of toilet trained to untrained in her classroom?

I agree the diaper plan seems sketch at best. My experience is that a child in a diaper will go in the diaper, whether they know how to use the toilet or not. It's not weird to them because they were so recently using diapers all the time.

But I wonder if part of what is happening is linked to toilet habits at school. It can be tricky to have a newly trained child in a classroom where all the other kids are either long trained or not trained at all, because newly trained kids generally still need more prompting and assistance until they acclimate. It can take a few days to a few weeks of frequent reminders and handholding to get them independent enough to not have accidents regularly, depending on the kid. My kid took longer than others because she is quiet and a bit intense so she'd get focused on a school activity and ignore her own signals, plus did not like approaching the teachers to ask for things. So she needed prompts 2-3x a day for about a month before the accidents totally stopped.

But she wore underwear the whole time and we just sent tons of extra clothes and made sure she went at home before school so she'd start off the day dry. I think she had one week where she had an accident daily, but we did a reset over the weekend (potty chart with new stickers, which she hadn't needed at home, some new rewards for staying dry all day, etc.) and the next week it was only 2-3 accidents and then just one the next week and the week after that. Obviously the accidents are no fun for the daycare teachers but also -- they are daycare teachers and they've seen it all.

I'd really try to talk them out of the diaper. I bet if you got rid of it completely, she'd have accidents for a bit and then acclimate.

Not invalid, but different experience here. My DD trained at just over 2yo (in daycare) and she hated to go in a diaper or Pullup after getting a taste of potty training routine -- to the point where she was asking for underwear at night before she was physically ready to hold for 12hrs.

Same here. Once my kid was trained she refused to go in a diaper (I put one one a couple of times for long car trips and a plane trip).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is she and what the percentage of toilet trained to untrained in her classroom?

I agree the diaper plan seems sketch at best. My experience is that a child in a diaper will go in the diaper, whether they know how to use the toilet or not. It's not weird to them because they were so recently using diapers all the time.

But I wonder if part of what is happening is linked to toilet habits at school. It can be tricky to have a newly trained child in a classroom where all the other kids are either long trained or not trained at all, because newly trained kids generally still need more prompting and assistance until they acclimate. It can take a few days to a few weeks of frequent reminders and handholding to get them independent enough to not have accidents regularly, depending on the kid. My kid took longer than others because she is quiet and a bit intense so she'd get focused on a school activity and ignore her own signals, plus did not like approaching the teachers to ask for things. So she needed prompts 2-3x a day for about a month before the accidents totally stopped.

But she wore underwear the whole time and we just sent tons of extra clothes and made sure she went at home before school so she'd start off the day dry. I think she had one week where she had an accident daily, but we did a reset over the weekend (potty chart with new stickers, which she hadn't needed at home, some new rewards for staying dry all day, etc.) and the next week it was only 2-3 accidents and then just one the next week and the week after that. Obviously the accidents are no fun for the daycare teachers but also -- they are daycare teachers and they've seen it all.

I'd really try to talk them out of the diaper. I bet if you got rid of it completely, she'd have accidents for a bit and then acclimate.

Not invalid, but different experience here. My DD trained at just over 2yo (in daycare) and she hated to go in a diaper or Pullup after getting a taste of potty training routine -- to the point where she was asking for underwear at night before she was physically ready to hold for 12hrs.

Yeah I guess kids are just different. We had an issue with the overnight pull up for a while because the tendency was to go in it out of convenience even after being totally day trained. It took several more months to break this habit and initially it was not uncommon for her to call us into her room 15 minutes after bedtime with a wet or poopy diaper even though she'd just used the potty. I'm sure maturity level and personality plays a role, as well as the age of toilet training, since there's a broad range.

[Anonymous]

Do not let daycare put a diaper on her!!! It’s their job to make her feel comfortable using the potty at daycare. Going back to diapers is easier for them but bad for your child. Tell them to just keep working with her in underwear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do not let daycare put a diaper on her!!! It’s their job to make her feel comfortable using the potty at daycare. Going back to diapers is easier for them but bad for your child. Tell them to just keep working with her in underwear.

+1. Daycare will always choose what’s easiest for them. Kindly insist.

[Anonymous]

Ask them to send her home at pick up time without a diaper on.