Toddler hits herself when frustrated

[Anonymous]

My 21 month old will sometimes smack herself in the head when she is frustrated. She looks at me when she does it. This has been happening for a couple of months and she does it a few times a week. It is so upsetting to see. Any advice? Has anyone else dealt with this?

[Anonymous]

My son did this sometimes, and will sometimes actually bite himself when he is REALLY frustrated. it is very upsetting, but from everything I read is not outside the realm of normal for some kids. I try to say "oh sweetie I can tell you are so upset, I'm here" and try to work with him on a different way to cope, offering different options but sometimes he's too upset to engage with that. but we've talked about it outsdie of the times he's upset and come up with ideas and that has helped. it has reduced a lot as he has gotten older (he's almost 4 now and it happen rarely, no longer hitting but sometimes he will bite his fingers when VERY upset because he knows it'snot ok to bite others but seems to need to get that energy out)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son did this sometimes, and will sometimes actually bite himself when he is REALLY frustrated. it is very upsetting, but from everything I read is not outside the realm of normal for some kids. I try to say "oh sweetie I can tell you are so upset, I'm here" and try to work with him on a different way to cope, offering different options but sometimes he's too upset to engage with that. but we've talked about it outsdie of the times he's upset and come up with ideas and that has helped. it has reduced a lot as he has gotten older (he's almost 4 now and it happen rarely, no longer hitting but sometimes he will bite his fingers when VERY upset because he knows it'snot ok to bite others but seems to need to get that energy out)

Thank you, PP.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s pretty normal. My DD around that age hit herself mostly or sometimes others when frustrated and my response was usually to gently hold her hands and tell her calmly, “I see you are frustrated but hands are not for hitting.” And then I redirected to another activity or something to help soothe her like a song or a snuggle (if she was open to it). Now at 2.5 she’s grown out of it, she still occasionally does it but it’s few and far between and when it happens my reaction is pretty much the same.

[Anonymous]

Totally normal

[Anonymous]

DD used to hit her head against walls or furniture when upset around that age. She’s approaching 2.5 years old and hasn’t done it for a little while. Fingers crossed that’s over. Her pediatrician said she would outgrow this behavior and not to give it more attention than necessary.

[Anonymous]

My 2 year old DD does this a few times a week when she is frustrated or if she gets hurt. I hold her hands and tell her not to hit herself or others and she immediately stops. I am assuming she will outgrow it, in fact I think she does it less then she used to.

[Anonymous]

My 2 yo does this when he tantrums and then he looks at me for my reaction. Then he will run to me indicating he hurt his head clearly looking for sympathy. I think he’s doing it for attention. I do hate it tho. I oscillate between ignoring it and trying to tell him to please not do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD used to hit her head against walls or furniture when upset around that age. She’s approaching 2.5 years old and hasn’t done it for a little while. Fingers crossed that’s over. Her pediatrician said she would outgrow this behavior and not to give it more attention than necessary.

Mine does this too, but mostly hitting forehead on the floor. At 2.5 it's not as frequent but still happens. I am encouraged that others seem to outgrow it...

[Anonymous]

I’m not saying to worry about it but my child did this and it has escalated to self harm. So watch for anxiety and depression.

[Anonymous]

If she looks to you for a reaction, you need to ignore it.

[Anonymous]

My DD did this too when she was upset, around 2. She would hit herself on the head or scratch her own arm, while looking directly at me.
She's 2.5 now and no longer does this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m not saying to worry about it but my child did this and it has escalated to self harm. So watch for anxiety and depression.

It is worrisome. Parenting is so hard.