How to tell my playgroup about new pregnancy?

[Anonymous]

I'm in a playgroup with 6 other moms (7 of us total). We started out with 8 kids (one mom had twins). Since the first year together, nearly everyone in our playgroup has gotten pregnant again and had another child except 1 mom miscarried at 14 weeks and another mom cannot get pregnant (she's been trying now for well over a year). The most recent baby in our playgroup was born 2 weeks ago. We have one more to be born this summer.

I recently, unexpectedly, got pregnant with #3. I know a few of the moms are "2 and Through" but some of them (especially the two I mentioned previously) are trying for another child.

I'm not that far along so I could certainly wait to tell them until the 2nd trimester. Although with #2 I told them all at 8wks (I was the first to get pregnant the second time around).

My question is should I wait to tell everyone and if so, how long? Should I tell them individually? The woman in my playgroup who just had the baby is particularly close to the woman who's been trying for over a year, and consequently her house is being remodeled and she's taking a long holiday with her family out of state during the construction. I hesitate to share my news with the recent mom for fear that she'll tell the mom who's having trouble before I can say anything. I know it's been particularly hard for her to see us all get pregnant again and have healthy babies. (Her son was premature so he's having some difficulties, but is on par for hitting milestones as a premie.)

Any suggestions on what is best to do? I want to be sensitive, but I also want to embrace my pregnancy. It was a shock at first, but now I'm excited. I hate to keep a secret from my friends, and most of these women truly are my friends.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Well, I'll bet if you all get along well, you're all most likely mature, confident, normal, well-adjusted women with the typical variations of healthy levels of occasional insecurity and disappointments.

So you could just tell them whenever you want to, and not make a big deal of it. You could tell each one individually, and if word gets around to person X before you actually get to person X, say, "Oh, yes, I wanted to tell you as soon as I got a moment alone with you! I'm glad word got around. We're excited. And it's #3 so I kind of know the drill..." bla bla bla (amp it up or tone it down, depending on what you believe the level of sensitivity for that person to be).

You're kind to be considering everyone's feelings.

I think you can take approach it as a normal, but lovely, bit of news that doesn't have to be pussyfooted around nor met with a marching band and six-gun salute announcement.