How have your friendships changed since Covid?

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids. My oldest always had a small group of friends and kept the same friends. Middle child is super social and many of his friends switched schools during Covid. He seems to be happy playing games online with large group of friends. His friend group is fluid at school and happy. My youngest just turned 3 when Covid hit and she didn’t really have any friends of her own. She saw one friend all through Covid. We would meet up masked at the playground. This is my friend and her daughters. I think my kids are all fine but it seems they haven’t met any new people and forgot how to make new friends.

I feel I have drifted from a lot of people as well. Not seeing someone for two years, especially if you were already drifting apart or relatively new friends.

How have your friendships and kids friendships changed during Covid?

[Anonymous]

well, I have several friends that are still in the covid hyper-ventilation camp. They are difficult to see / be around because they also tend to be highly judgmental of people who aren't following their specific rules (which aren't, by the way, the school or CDC rules).

I had many FB acquaintances that I unfriended because they turned into absolute evil people based on covid -- just mean about things, and unable to see any gray areas.

The people that I hang around most -- those with kids, I mean -- tend to be the ones where we agree on risks. Like, we all don't mask our kids outdoors, and we are all slowly getting back to indoor unmasked playdates.

[Anonymous]

My moms from my first maternity leave have drifted away. It's really sad. Some moved out of DC, some moved a few neighborhoods over, but it's just kind of faded out. I always knew early childhood parenting friendships shouldn't be expected to last, but I'm sad about it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, not that much. I am close with six women around the country from law school. We actually keep in touch more regularly via group text. But our annual girls trip hasn’t happened for several years now. We will start it up again eventually.

Local friends — we don’t see them in large groups, but we still see them. We started up outdoor movies in our driveway about two months after covid hit. It made our house a bit of “the place to be.”

[Anonymous]

I feel lucky that I actually made MORE friends during COVID. My oldest had just started school, so we were still getting to know people in our surrounding neighborhood. Once the pandemic hit, socializing went hyper local. I met so many neighbors with school aged kids and we hung out all the time. It was so easy because we could go play in their yard, and run home if someone needed the bathroom, or if we only had 20 minutes that was ok. It's been great because now I feel like we have a real community around us. My kids can walk to friends houses etc. All things that were not happening pre-covid.

So my social circle really expanded in a way it would not have without the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

The sad truth is that, by and large, friendships made through your kids are fleeting. They're often made more out of convenience than anything real and lasting. When the kids drift apart, start participating in different activities, or leave the roost, there goes the friendship between the parents. In other words, friendships that didn't survive covid were likely never really there in the first place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The sad truth is that, by and large, friendships made through your kids are fleeting. They're often made more out of convenience than anything real and lasting. When the kids drift apart, start participating in different activities, or leave the roost, there goes the friendship between the parents. In other words, friendships that didn't survive covid were likely never really there in the first place.

I know. I always knew that. But we really were friends and spent lots of time together and it lasted 9 years! Even though the kids were dispersed across Ward 5 schools by Count Day in PK3. I just didn't realize that someone moving from Bloomingdale to Brookland would be enough to kill it off.

[Anonymous]

It’s funny, in some ways we are socializing more than pre COVID because when there is an opening to do things everyone wants to do them. But less informal mingling with acquaintances, less big parties… we have a group of about 5 families who is on the same page in terms of caution and we see them quite often. The rest of the world is out there and will likely come back into focus this summer.

One of my kids just turned three when this started. They didn’t have many friends but made more these past few years. They are in person at school now and like it. The first year they met up with two other little friends for play dates, like yours. The other child was six when this started, they seem to have stuck to a small but close friend group. Luckily their school stayed in person throughout so the longest period of isolation we had to deal with was the first wave through the summer. This kid makes friends easily, always has a new friend at camp or what not so I’m not too worried.

It’s been a very long two years and people are burnt out. Give it some time — it’ll get back to being more normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The sad truth is that, by and large, friendships made through your kids are fleeting. They're often made more out of convenience than anything real and lasting. When the kids drift apart, start participating in different activities, or leave the roost, there goes the friendship between the parents. In other words, friendships that didn't survive covid were likely never really there in the first place.

I know. I always knew that. But we really were friends and spent lots of time together and it lasted 9 years! Even though the kids were dispersed across Ward 5 schools by Count Day in PK3. I just didn't realize that someone moving from Bloomingdale to Brookland would be enough to kill it off.

See, you really weren't friends. It was a 9-year convenience.

[Anonymous]

Before the pandemic, I had a stable group of good friends in DC. I also had close friends elsewhere in the country, but by and large, none of them really knew each other other than the DC ones. During the pandemic, we left DC. I have 3 close friends in our new city: one is my sister, one is the mom of one of my older kid's friends, and one is someone I work with. I do not mind the more limited social life most of the time. It was hard around my birthday last year (I turned 40) because I kind of wanted to do something splashy and special and it was during that time in the summer before Delta, but at that time, I really only had 2 friends and it felt like a very sad birthday party so I didn't do it. The rest of the time, it hasn't really bothered me.

My kids, on the other hand? My oldest is in 6th grade. She made one good friend right away when school started after we moved, but because school was virtual, it had to be facilitated by me, the girl's mom, and the teacher in ways that just wouldn't have been necessary pre-pandemic. She has definitely made other friends, but the anxiety of being the new kid during a pandemic is getting to her. She has close friends whose faces she has never seen in person because they only hang out at school and are basically never allowed to take their masks off. That is sad - and I'm pro mask.

My youngest was 2.5 when the pandemic began. She lost 100% of non-family socialization between 2.5 and last September when she started preschool. I was anxious that it would be a difficult transition for her, but it was fine. For what it's worth, I never had a huge problem with her hanging out with other kids during the pandemic. The issue was more that once we moved here, I had to meet new people and people just are not socializing as much as they used to. Where I live, the ones who are socializing like normal are also generally anti-mask anti-vax COVID deniers of one sort or another and I don't want to hang out with them anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The sad truth is that, by and large, friendships made through your kids are fleeting. They're often made more out of convenience than anything real and lasting. When the kids drift apart, start participating in different activities, or leave the roost, there goes the friendship between the parents. In other words, friendships that didn't survive covid were likely never really there in the first place.

I know. I always knew that. But we really were friends and spent lots of time together and it lasted 9 years! Even though the kids were dispersed across Ward 5 schools by Count Day in PK3. I just didn't realize that someone moving from Bloomingdale to Brookland would be enough to kill it off.

See, you really weren't friends. It was a 9-year convenience.

So it seems. But we even went on trips together, without kids or husbands. It was a pretty time-intensive convenience if that's what it was!

[Anonymous]

We primarily text and occasionally have lunch. Everyone is pretty blown out from stress. When it’s warmer we walk a few times a month. We stay connected but rarely see one another. A few very close friends I haven’t seen in a long time due to their fragile health and my in person close contact job. Thankfully we all are good at reaching out and no one requires emotional maintenance during tougher periods. We love one another and know it.

We have allowed some play dates but have been mindful during peaks. Mostly outside.

[Anonymous]

Before the pandemic I had a small, but very stable group of friends. This included two of my closest friends who I met in college, my brother's wife and also my son's best friend's parents. During covid we had weekly meet up on Zoom and would watch movies on Netflix together every Friday evening. I'm very much an introvert and prefer having a small but very close group of friends and it's been fairly easy to maintain during these hard time. I was kind of bummed out that I missed my 35th birthday during the first wave of covid, since we had a big party planned but that was the only really big let down.

My son is in 5th grade now and he has one very close BFF, a girl his age. She doesn't go to school with him but she's our neighbor and they been best buddies since they were 2. Our son is also an introvert and prefers to have one very close friend he does everything with. We were in a pod with her family they had two playdates each week and we let them have one sleepover each month (the latter is usually a weekly thing they do). Neither of us got the virus during that time and we're all vaxxed now. Our son has said he's very glad he still had Larla with him during the lockdowns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel lucky that I actually made MORE friends during COVID. My oldest had just started school, so we were still getting to know people in our surrounding neighborhood. Once the pandemic hit, socializing went hyper local. I met so many neighbors with school aged kids and we hung out all the time. It was so easy because we could go play in their yard, and run home if someone needed the bathroom, or if we only had 20 minutes that was ok. It's been great because now I feel like we have a real community around us. My kids can walk to friends houses etc. All things that were not happening pre-covid.

So my social circle really expanded in a way it would not have without the pandemic.

This has been my experience, too. I also feel very lucky!

[Anonymous]

My kids' friendships have remained about the same, but they've also been in in-person school since August 2020.

My friendships have changed only in that I can't see people who are anti-vax in the same light ever again.