If you grew up LMC/poor and now UMC/rich, do you have the same friends?

[Anonymous]

I grew up poor. My parents were poor immigrants. Dh is also a child of poor immigrants. We both studied hard, worked hard and now have a seven figure income and live in an affluent neighborhood. Many of our close friends are from when we were younger and starting out. They are all professionals but we earn more than all our friends.

While we socialize with new people, I personally like our old friends much better. I don’t know if it is just harder to make good friends when you get older or I just feel comfortable with people with less money.

If you grew up poor and now have money, do you hang out with the same friends?

Do you just pay for everything for your friends who have less money?

I like to travel. This is where I’m seeing the biggest discrepancy in lifestyle. Some old friends can’t or won’t book a trip when flight prices are too high (>$500). I would like to go on this trip with them. Should we just offer to pay for the whole thing? We have close friends who were in our wedding. We want to go away with them and they can’t go because flights will cost $4000 for their family. I think they wanted to spend $2000 or less on flights. Same with hotel. I strongly prefer to stay somewhere nicer. Should we just pay for the whole trip?

[Anonymous]

I think it would be incredible if you offered to pay. I also grew up LMC and while not as wealthy as you, we are de

[Anonymous]

They may feel uncomfortable letting you pay because they won't be able to reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

OP most of the newly wealthy people I know stick closer than ever to their old friends. There is a level of trust they can only find with the people who knew them before they had a lot of money.

OP who suggested the trip? How much have you talked about it so far? Will they feel bad if you try to pay for anything? Is the trip a one-time thing, or do you want to travel together regularly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP most of the newly wealthy people I know stick closer than ever to their old friends. There is a level of trust they can only find with the people who knew them before they had a lot of money.

OP who suggested the trip? How much have you talked about it so far? Will they feel bad if you try to pay for anything? Is the trip a one-time thing, or do you want to travel together regularly?

I have several sets of friends who all make significantly less than we do.

We are trying to go on a spring break trip and friends are not used to paying peak spring break prices. They want to switch weeks. They would rather pull kids out of school and go a cheaper week. This does not work for us. In the past, we have tried traveling with them before and cost has prevented them from traveling with us.

I have another friend who is recently divorced. She brought up a trip that I am very excited about. I tried to plan a time in May. She can’t commit because she has to save up for the trip.

Some other friends want to do a weekend trip. They are looking at hotels in the $200 range. The places I would prefer are more like $800-1200. I would rather book the hotel myself and they can just come. Again I don’t want to insult anyone. I may suggest I just rent a house.

On a recent girls trip, one friend wanted to fly a red eye to save $200. Another friend booked a flight with a stopover to save money and shortened our trip. I wonder if I should chip in the $200 or if that would be insulting.

[Anonymous]

I recently met a friend and she kept me waiting for 20 min because she was circling around for free parking instead of paying $20 for garage parking. I don’t know why this annoyed me so much. She actually got there before I did but didn’t want to pay for parking.

[Anonymous]

It would be nice if you could afford it and offered. I would rent beach houses and invite our friends to stay for free.

[Anonymous]

If I were in your shoes, I would book a nice a house and just invite them to stay with me, so that they only have to worry about buying tickets and personal expenses.

[Anonymous]

Pay for the house and the food.

They will feel better having some skin in the game (paying for tickets)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I were in your shoes, I would book a nice a house and just invite them to stay with me, so that they only have to worry about buying tickets and personal expenses.

This. DH and I come from humble backgrounds. We aren’t rich but we do okay. We have rented large condos or houses at the beach and invited friends and relatives to stay with us. That seems to be easiest way to help offset the cost of the trip without any awkward feelings and we all have a good time.

[Anonymous]

I would plan things that your friends can comfortably afford. The type of travel that you can now pay for might not be on the list.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor. My parents were poor immigrants. Dh is also a child of poor immigrants. We both studied hard, worked hard and now have a seven figure income and live in an affluent neighborhood. Many of our close friends are from when we were younger and starting out. They are all professionals but we earn more than all our friends.

While we socialize with new people, I personally like our old friends much better. I don’t know if it is just harder to make good friends when you get older or I just feel comfortable with people with less money.

If you grew up poor and now have money, do you hang out with the same friends?

Do you just pay for everything for your friends who have less money?

I like to travel. This is where I’m seeing the biggest discrepancy in lifestyle. Some old friends can’t or won’t book a trip when flight prices are too high (>$500). I would like to go on this trip with them. Should we just offer to pay for the whole thing? We have close friends who were in our wedding. We want to go away with them and they can’t go because flights will cost $4000 for their family. I think they wanted to spend $2000 or less on flights. Same with hotel. I strongly prefer to stay somewhere nicer. Should we just pay for the whole trip?

Curious were your parents poor but educated immigrants or day laborers? How did you become so successful? Surgeons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor. My parents were poor immigrants. Dh is also a child of poor immigrants. We both studied hard, worked hard and now have a seven figure income and live in an affluent neighborhood. Many of our close friends are from when we were younger and starting out. They are all professionals but we earn more than all our friends.

While we socialize with new people, I personally like our old friends much better. I don’t know if it is just harder to make good friends when you get older or I just feel comfortable with people with less money.

If you grew up poor and now have money, do you hang out with the same friends?

Do you just pay for everything for your friends who have less money?

I like to travel. This is where I’m seeing the biggest discrepancy in lifestyle. Some old friends can’t or won’t book a trip when flight prices are too high (>$500). I would like to go on this trip with them. Should we just offer to pay for the whole thing? We have close friends who were in our wedding. We want to go away with them and they can’t go because flights will cost $4000 for their family. I think they wanted to spend $2000 or less on flights. Same with hotel. I strongly prefer to stay somewhere nicer. Should we just pay for the whole trip?

I’m surprised you even live close to where your poor friends are. We are both from LMC backgrounds and while just barely UMC, we live near a major city in safe neighborhood with good schools, our original friends are still back home in our backwater home town; the thought of a $400k home would be like living Sex and the City

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor. My parents were poor immigrants. Dh is also a child of poor immigrants. We both studied hard, worked hard and now have a seven figure income and live in an affluent neighborhood. Many of our close friends are from when we were younger and starting out. They are all professionals but we earn more than all our friends.

While we socialize with new people, I personally like our old friends much better. I don’t know if it is just harder to make good friends when you get older or I just feel comfortable with people with less money.

If you grew up poor and now have money, do you hang out with the same friends?

Do you just pay for everything for your friends who have less money?

I like to travel. This is where I’m seeing the biggest discrepancy in lifestyle. Some old friends can’t or won’t book a trip when flight prices are too high (>$500). I would like to go on this trip with them. Should we just offer to pay for the whole thing? We have close friends who were in our wedding. We want to go away with them and they can’t go because flights will cost $4000 for their family. I think they wanted to spend $2000 or less on flights. Same with hotel. I strongly prefer to stay somewhere nicer. Should we just pay for the whole trip?

Curious were your parents poor but educated immigrants or day laborers? How did you become so successful? Surgeons?

Both sets of parents were very well educated in their home countries. My parents grew up during war.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up poor. My parents were poor immigrants. Dh is also a child of poor immigrants. We both studied hard, worked hard and now have a seven figure income and live in an affluent neighborhood. Many of our close friends are from when we were younger and starting out. They are all professionals but we earn more than all our friends.

While we socialize with new people, I personally like our old friends much better. I don’t know if it is just harder to make good friends when you get older or I just feel comfortable with people with less money.

If you grew up poor and now have money, do you hang out with the same friends?

Do you just pay for everything for your friends who have less money?

I like to travel. This is where I’m seeing the biggest discrepancy in lifestyle. Some old friends can’t or won’t book a trip when flight prices are too high (>$500). I would like to go on this trip with them. Should we just offer to pay for the whole thing? We have close friends who were in our wedding. We want to go away with them and they can’t go because flights will cost $4000 for their family. I think they wanted to spend $2000 or less on flights. Same with hotel. I strongly prefer to stay somewhere nicer. Should we just pay for the whole trip?

I’m surprised you even live close to where your poor friends are. We are both from LMC backgrounds and while just barely UMC, we live near a major city in safe neighborhood with good schools, our original friends are still back home in our backwater home town; the thought of a $400k home would be like living Sex and the City

We have friends up and down the east coast. We moved to the dc area a decade ago with a baby and toddler. We just finished grad school, had student loans and while we weren’t exactly struggling, we earned significantly less. Even then, we probably earned more than most of the new friends we made in dc. It was a time where new families became good friends. It was less about money and just bonding and becoming close.