Is it always rude to speak another language to someone if you happen to have another mutual language

[Anonymous]

If you meet someone who speaks another language that you know, is it rude to speak to them in that language? Not including in the presence of other people who do not also speak that language, with the intention to exclude them - of course that is rude.

Say for example you grew up speaking Russian, but no longer have opportunities to use your language and you fear losing it - if you meet other people who happen to speak Russian, is it rude to go ahead and speak it with them?

Or, say you are learning Portuguese. You have a deep interest in long term visiting or living in Brazil or Portugal and you meet people from there, is it ok to go and speak your working Portuguese language to them/will it be perceived as belittling and assuming they don't know English?

Or, say you are fluent in Mandarin, and you hear people on the street speaking Mandarin Chinese and they appear to need help. Is it rude to go over and speak their language and not English first?

The idea is that one may want to use their other languages but not appear patronizing. Is this acceptable to do, given a diverse multinational community like the DC metro area, or should you just stick to friends and other people you already know and make it clear that "We're going to speak Russian/Portuguese/Mandarin today." Is it perceived less rude if you are a heritage speaker of a language as opposed to a random white American trying to practice their low level language with random people?

[Anonymous]

All of the examples you gave are fine.

It's only rude to speak a foriegn language when others in your party don't speak it, and you are exluding them from the conversation.

[Anonymous]

??? Why on earth would anyone think that's rude? I've conversed with many people who I overhear speaking my language. They're usually not from my home country, but they're from one of our former colonies. DH and I are foreigners here and when we get together with friends from our home country, naturally we speak our native tongue. I've also noticed that Americans who learned our language in school, especially those who then went on to live or work in our home country, love to practice with us.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure they like speaking that other language? Are you sure it’s maternal tongue for them? Be careful and don’t make assumptions about this. Just because someone comes from country X, may not necessarily mean that they know or prefer to speak a certain language that you may think everyone in that country speaks. They may be different ethnicity, or have different circumstances. So always ask if they know the language, and if it’s ok for you to speak in x language with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:??? Why on earth would anyone think that's rude? I've conversed with many people who I overhear speaking my language. They're usually not from my home country, but they're from one of our former colonies. DH and I are foreigners here and when we get together with friends from our home country, naturally we speak our native tongue. I've also noticed that Americans who learned our language in school, especially those who then went on to live or work in our home country, love to practice with us.

When I was a foreigner in another country natives would zoom in on me as a target-practice for the language they were learning. Even if they knew I was fluent in their mother tongue. Its rude if it becomes an expectation of 'free' tutoring rather than just something you're comfortable with. Obviously it doesn't bother you - which is good.

[Anonymous]

As long as your language level doesn't impair the conversation relative to English. I don't think it's the right to switch to a non English language when your level of fluency in that language is lower than the other person's level of English language fluency. Unless there's some standing arrangement like a language exchange the point of using a language is to communicate. That said I speak a single country language at a very high level though I'm not a native speaker. If communication isn't working English I'll ask if they prefer the other language and I've always gotten a very positive response, but part of that comes from the fact that if you speak that language you must have lived in that country, so have something in common.

[Anonymous]

On date apps a lot of white men start out with Hola to say hi. I just say hello back. Not interested and I am not a fresh off the boat Latina. I am a DC native with family who came here in the 60s for Christ's sake.

[Anonymous]

It’s only rude if there are other people in the group who do not speak the language. In this case, share with those who don’t speak the language what you are saying so it doesn’t appear you are speaking negatively about them or leaving them out. That makes things awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s only rude if there are other people in the group who do not speak the language. In this case, share with those who don’t speak the language what you are saying so it doesn’t appear you are speaking negatively about them or leaving them out. That makes things awkward.

Could someone give my in laws this memo...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On date apps a lot of white men start out with Hola to say hi. I just say hello back. Not interested and I am not a fresh off the boat Latina. I am a DC native with family who came here in the 60s for Christ's sake.

That is hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Nope not rude and people often light up when you do it!

[Anonymous]

I think it can be rude for sure. Not everybody wants to hear bad attempts at their own language when they speak English far better than you can speak their own language.

I will speak to somebody in their language in two scenarios: 1) they learn that I know their language and start speaking to me in that language or 2) I develop a rapport and ask them if I can practice with them.

Well and of course if I’m in their country. But if they want to speak English I basically always switch to English, unless they are being condescending and rude (usually it’s old guys who do this).

[Anonymous]

Some people consider it a microaggression. They _want_ tp speak English so speaking to them in their other language, especially if you are not fluent, is an offense to them.

I speak a few languages but when I'm with friends where I know it's their native language, I'll only throw in a few words in the rare case where something is better explained in their language. For example "fu er dai" in Chinese doesn't have an English equivalent without a lot of explanation. It's the term for the kids of people who got rich in China but tend not to follow their parents' work ethic and act like they own the place.

[Anonymous]

Two native speakers? Sure. But it can come across as patronizing and condescending if you’ve studied the other language a bit, and want to show how “connected” you are by speaking their language. I have medium familiarity with several languages that I’ve use to,actually get around in those countries when I was there, but no way would I speak to native speakers of those languages here if their English was at all decent. I would communicate with them in their language if they just arrived and had no English. You also better really know that they arrived from their,native country recently and aren’t Americans born here who may not know that language at all.

[Anonymous]

No never! I grew up with a large Mexican community. My closest friends growing up spoke only Spanish at home and spoke Spanish to each other. My Spanish sucked but over time it improved. It’s their first language and what they’re most comfortable conversing in.