Does your child say "I don't want to go to school" every day, but then has fun?

[Anonymous]

Every morning before school my DD says "I don't want to go to school." She's almost 3.5, and she goes to preschool 3 days a week. She always winds up having a good time (as far as she tells me), so I don't know if she's just being difficult or if she really just doesn't like school. Also, she only ever talks about playing with one friend (someone she knew before school) so I worry that she's not making friends. She's not shy, so I don't know if she's playing with other kids but just not telling me. Oh, and another thing -- she's going to a new school starting next year and won't be in school with her friend. I know she's young and will adjust eventually, but I'm so worried about the combination of new school and no safety net. Any advice or insight?

[Anonymous]

My ds has started with the I don't want to go to school today as well. He's 4.5 and in pre-k. I attribute to Spring Fever since it only lasts a short time. And kids remember what's most important. For him, it's lunch and recess. We're also switching to a new school and I think (and hope) the new friend thing comes with time. Learning names and who's social and who's not. My ds is very social, but shy and quiet at first. Once he finds a common likeness with someone, and it usually involves a toy, then he's good to go.

[Anonymous]

I could have written your post. DD says the same thing and then goes on to have fun. I think she's really saying that she doesn't want to get dressed and leave the house, which is different from not wanting to go to school.

[Anonymous]

Can you ask her teacher who DD plays with and how she interacts with others?

[Anonymous]

I suspect your child has more trouble with transitions than you expect.

Also, I liked school plenty well enough, but on any given day I would always have preferred not to go - did well, just didn't love it. Kids don't have to love school. Life's easier when they do, but they don't have to.

[Anonymous]

My 3 yo does this. But I think it's because she hopes for some TV time if she stays home.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the other posts in that your child probably just doesn't want to leave the house. My son says the same thing all the time and I think he's just having too much fun at home (starts watching TV, plays with his toys, etc.). He LOVES preschool but some days it's harder to get him out of the house than others. Some days, he begs to leave early!! Getting him moving in the mornings can be difficult but we're working on it.

[Anonymous]

I also think that my dd is testing the power of her words -- what will I do if she says she doesn't want to go? What kinds of words make me upset? What kinds of words change what I do? I respond by saying something cheerful and upbeat and then, unless it's one of "those" mornings, everything is fine. (and if it is one of "those" mornings, it doesn't matter what anyone says or does)

[Anonymous]

My almost 5 yo started doing this. Not every day, perhaps once a week. Imaginary symptoms, etc. There hasn't been anything in particular at school, so I think she is just testing us. I will curious to see if others feel the same.

[Anonymous]

My daughter was doing this as well. After about a week of it we figured out that she was being bullied by another little girl. Once that stopped so did the "I don't want to go to school".

[Anonymous]

When my ds was 4 he did this almost every day. "I don't want to go to school," and then, when we went to pick him up, he didn't want to leave. I think it is a difficulty with transitions. He also tried imaginary symptoms -- once. We made him stay in bed all day ("if you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to be up playing.") That was the end of that.

[Anonymous]

My son says that, and then today he couldn't go to school b/c my car wouldn't start and he had no way to go that there. He spent the whole day complaining he couldn't go to school. I think it is a grass is always greener thing.

[Anonymous]

my daughter did this in pre-school, when she was 3, much less now in pre-k. i think it's the transition issue and the fact that at that age, they just want to hang with mom and dad. but she always had a great time, adored her teacher and had to be torn away from aftercare.

i think if you're really concerned about friends and other issues, you should talk to her teacher. my daughter often talks about one friend too but that's the one she plays with most.