Wean to formula, keep nursing, or something in the middle (exclusively pump, combo feed)?
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Anonymous
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Breastfeeding my five month old is a slog. Not sure if it’s worth it anymore.
We had a little trouble getting started (she was a lazy nurser, had to triple feed and supplement for 10 days until she got on track) but she’s been EBF since she was about a month old. But it’s a struggle. We went right from trying to keep her awake for a full feeding to trying to keep her engaged for a full feeding. She’ll nurse for minute or two, then pop off to smile and coo and watch whatever’s going on. Then it’s a struggle to get her back to eating. This isn’t a recent problem - it’s been tough to keep her engaged since she was probably 10-12 weeks old, and it’s just gotten worse over time. She has a huge bottle preference (she gets pumped milk while I’m at work) despite us using the newborn nipples and doing paced feedings. She honestly I think just likes being upright and watching the world. It’s so hard to get her to nurse that if she goes a few days without any bottles (she always takes a full 6 oz from a bottle) she’ll start waking hungry in the night (she’s been STTN since about 12 weeks). So I make sure to give her at least a bottle every other day or so. Which means even on weekends or vacations, I’m doing some pumping. And I’m constantly having to step away to a quiet room to get her to eat more, missing out on family time and time with my toddler, and making it hard for me to watch both kids. She’s my second. My first (though a tougher baby in lots of other respects) never had any issues nursing. I weaned him at six months for fertility reasons, and I was sad to do it - nursing him was so much easier than carting around bottles and a warmer and everything. I was really looking forward to nursing this baby for a full year, but at this point, it’s not enjoyable, just stressful. Plus, my supply isn’t fabulous. I always have just barely enough, so I’m having to do lots of pumping to get her what she needs. So that’s stressful too. I think if this was a few years ago, I would just wean. Fed is beat, I generally think the benefits of breast milk are overstated. But - COVID. I’m vaxxed and boosted, she’s obviously not. Though I did get vaccinated when I was pregnant. But I’d love to be giving her antibodies if she gets COVID. Plus, other illnesses. With a toddler around, we go through a lot of colds, HFM, assorted other things. The immune benefits to breast milk are real. I could try combo feeding, but I suspect with my mediocre supply, if I slowed down my pumping and started adding formula, my supply would drop off really quickly. So I predict an attempt at combo feeding would really just be a slightly slower wean. Maybe I’m wrong about that though? I’m also considering moving to exclusively pumping. If I were to do that, I’d get a willow pump so the endless pumping wouldn’t interrupt my day so much. That actually sounds a lot more pleasant than what I’m doing now. Maybe keep nursing first thing in the morning and the dream feed (the easiest feeds right now cause she’s sleepy). Added wrinkle:I’ve had a really awful case of PPD that’s just starting to get better. I didn’t have that with my first, but when I weaned him (slowly as recommended) it really messed with my emotions and mental health for a few weeks. Since my mental health isn’t solid already, I’d be nervous about making it even worse. Plus formula is sp expensive. Sorry for the length - lots of confounding factors. What would you do? |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I’d either wean or go straight to bottles. Sounds like she prefers the bottles and I think it would save your sanity. Absolutely nothing wrong with pumping or just giving her formula.
& for what it’s worth, my good friend is fully vaxxed & breast feeding and got Covid and passed it to her 3 month old who was very sick from Covid for over 2 weeks. |
Anonymous
| Ooof, that’s hard. I think at 5/6 I would put too much weight in Covid/illness antibodies. He’s already or soon will be starting solid food too, right? But I totally get your supply/mental health anxieties about weaning (that is the only reason I’mnot saying formula stat). How is pumping for you? Personally I absolutely hated it and struggled to keep my supply up when pumping so I would still tend to be inclined to formula — having the baby sleep through the night is so important to your mental health! But if you’re neutral/okay with it, maybe exclusively pump for a few weeks to get him past the super distracted nursing phase? But it sounds like a really tough decision in your case — best of luck! |
Anonymous
| I’d wean |
Anonymous
Oh also I’m fully vaxxed and boosted, got Covid from my toddler, and passed it on to my EBF newborn. We all had super mild cases, fortunately, but unfortunately breastfeeding doesn’t magically prevent disease transmissions. :-/// |
Anonymous
| Why don’t you try the exclusive pumping with maybe morning and dream feed, like you said towards the end of your post? It sounds like you don’t have any major reasons not to do that, and maybe it would work for you. |
Anonymous
OP here. Thanks so much for your thoughts, everyone, this is helpful. I think this would be my preference. Except right now I’m pumping with a “traditional” pump, so I have to hold the flanges (I tried a pumping bra and couldn’t get it working). So it’s a huge time suck. If I were to exclusively pump (or pump for all but two feedings every day) I’d want to invest in a Willow pump. But it’s $500 and non-returnable. So I’d really need to commit to it. |
Anonymous
| I had a lot of issues nursing my daughter as she had a dairy and soy intolerance. Between cutting those foods out of my diet and pumping when I was at work, my supply took a hit and we had to supplement with formula. I had the willow, beware that it’s not as powerful as a pump like the spectra or Medela. It was great for when I needed to be hands free, but I personally couldn’t count on using it for all of my pumping sessions. |
Anonymous
| At 5 months I would wean |
Anonymous
| I have two friends who exclusively pumped for 8 months and a year only because they preferred it. Both rented hospital grade pumps and just worked it into their schedules. If you think it’s right for you, try it. |
Anonymous
| I would move to exclusive pumping, maybe with a morning or evening nursing session if there’s a time she’s particularly patient with/snuggly. I would reevaluate at six months (since that’s the consensus for when there are benefits to exclusive breast milk) which is a short time from now and decide between exclusive pumping if it’s working for you and weaning. |
Anonymous
| What if you just moved to a pumping schedule that felt doable to you, and told yourself to keep doing it as long as your body would allow? Maybe that’s moving to 3 pumps a day and otherwise feeding formula? Even if your supply starts dwindling you may get enough from 3 sessions to continue a bottle of breastmilk everyday (for the antibodies) and if it ever gets to a point where it doesn’t feel worth it anymore, you move to formula? I combo fed by doing this (a manageable amount of pumps) for 6 months before deciding to wean completely because I was just over pumping at that point. I was very lucky in that my supply didn’t take a major hit reducing pump sessions, must have a decent storage capacity, but it was so much less stressful than either breastfeeding or exclusively pumping was for me! |
Anonymous
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Do you have insurance coverage for the pump?
I think even one bottle of breast milk a day will give alot of the antibody benefits but ask your doctor. |
Anonymous
| Don't make this hard -- what do you want to do? |
Anonymous
| yeah, all this anxiety over this is much worse than any particular choice. |