Awkward middle school + teen age, making conversation?

[Anonymous]

What are good things to ask teens about? we are spending time with my nephews who I do not know well (in laws as well) and I need some help with conversations. Neither are talkative.

[Anonymous]

Ask them what teachers they like and what classes they like. Ask them what they would do if they were in charge. What field trips would they take? What is their earliest memory? What kind of animal would they like to be, and why? If they could be in a movie, which one? A storm trooper in Star Wars? What is the best invention of the modern era? GPS or cell phones?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask them what teachers they like and what classes they like. Ask them what they would do if they were in charge. What field trips would they take? What is their earliest memory? What kind of animal would they like to be, and why? If they could be in a movie, which one? A storm trooper in Star Wars? What is the best invention of the modern era? GPS or cell phones?

The only decent suggestion is the first one. The others are perfect for a seven year old.

[Anonymous]

Rather than coming up with topics to talk about how about activities like movies or board games.

[Anonymous]

Don’t interrogate them, even if your intentions are good you won’t be happy with the conversation that ensues. I would just chat with surrounding adults as normal, give the teens inroads into conversation with a question from time to time, let them be not talkative if they like. And yes to activities.

[Anonymous]

What do you know about them? Do you have any mutual interests? My nephew plays basketball and it’s fun to talk with him about it because I have always loved basketball as well. We talk about his team, pro hoops, shoe contracts, whatever comes to mind. He tells me stories about his crazy coach.

Alternatively, my nieces and nephews all have fun reminiscing about things we have done together on other visits (or silly things their parents did when younger!)

I also remember being that age and try to keep in mind they have their own things going on so I try to keep chit chat short so they can excuse themselves to their room/check their phone/text friends or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Don’t be offended by monosyllable answers to all your questions. Every teen I know does this even for loved family members. Make space for them to talk/join in your conversation if they want but don’t force it. If possible suggest activities together rather than forcing them to make conversation. Letting my niece teach me her current favourite video game (and then beat me at our repeatedly because I’m terrible at video games 😝) generally went over well.

[Anonymous]

I would find out what they like

books
anime
pets
sports

?

[Anonymous]

Speak to them like an acquaintance

How’s it going? It’s been a while how have things been?
How’s school going this year?
Any plans for the holiday break?

if you have done something interesting lately mention it - ex: went somewhere interesting, see a new movie, etc - mention it might lead to more conversation, might not and that’s ok

When you are sensing awkwardness casually turn and start speaking to someone else

you don’t have to keep a constant stream of convo all at one time

[Anonymous]

Stay away from a bunch of questions is my advice. Kids hate that. They probably prefer for you not to talk to them., but if you just… If it’s possible, try to engage in an activity - play a game (ask the. How to play, if needed), basketball in the backyard if they have a hoop, toss a football, whatever else they may be interested in.

[Anonymous]

I remember being a kid and getting the pained "How's SCHOOL?" in that fake chipper voice, from every.single.adult.acquaintance. Ask what they are doing with their break time, if they have seen a certain movie, or literally anything else.

[Anonymous]

Music - what bands do they like - what do they think of KPop, you can’t decide

Sports - football - college or NFL, soccer MLS or EPL, Baseball, golf, etc - what do they watch what do they play

[Anonymous]

Yeah, kids hate being asked a bunch of questions - especially boys, I think. But they do listen, and they do have thoughts. Start a conversation on something newsy and interesting with someone sitting in the same room, and use your body language to show them they are included. They may join.

Or as someone else said, play together. Card games, horse, ping pong, thumb war…doesn’t matter. Monopoly or Risk are great if you have time. That is how boys know you love them - just by being in their world with them. Often silently.

[Anonymous]

Favorite meme's, favorite youtube/what ever social media they watch videos, how is school

[Anonymous]

Ask them what TikTok audios get stuck in their head