Dinner hosting question

[Anonymous]

If you have the smallest number of people in your family, and rotate major holidays with ILs re: who also host (not all do) - do they host more or do you host the same?

Assume the IL's have more than double your number of people (they have ten - which is significant re: seating availability, etc.)

Also assume we (my nuclear family) are still working in the office 5 days and have kids at home, while they WFH and their kids are grown and gone; and they have more favorable circumstances right now, in general.

So utterly exhausted.

[Anonymous]

We make our decision year by year. This year the person with the biggest yard for obvious reasons.

[Anonymous]

I host/cook every holiday. My sister does not cook. The end.

[Anonymous]

We almost never host because we are the only family members who live across the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have the smallest number of people in your family, and rotate major holidays with ILs re: who also host (not all do) - do they host more or do you host the same?

Assume the IL's have more than double your number of people (they have ten - which is significant re: seating availability, etc.)

Also assume we (my nuclear family) are still working in the office 5 days and have kids at home, while they WFH and their kids are grown and gone; and they have more favorable circumstances right now, in general.

So utterly exhausted.

sometimes I think it is okay to say, "under the circumstances, this is just not going to work. would you be able to host? if so, I could do x and y."

Some people are obtuse, some are manically equal-equal, and some might be willing if asked.

GL OP - hope you are able to get some rest!

[Anonymous]

My father now lives with me and cannot travel. If my siblings and their kids want to see him they have to come here. We are currently 11 under 1 roof. My 2 siblings and their families will be here for a week.

I guess I’m hosting but it just doesn’t seem like a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Speak up. Nothing is inevitable.

“Sorry, that’s not going to work for us this year—we’ve got work and school right up until Christmas Eve, and we aren’t going to be in host mode.”

“Sure, we can have it at our house, but we’ve got work and school right up until Christmas Eve. So we’ll do A, B, and C and we’re going to need some help with X, Y, and Z. Who want to bring or buy what?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Speak up. Nothing is inevitable.

“Sorry, that’s not going to work for us this year—we’ve got work and school right up until Christmas Eve, and we aren’t going to be in host mode.”

“Sure, we can have it at our house, but we’ve got work and school right up until Christmas Eve. So we’ll do A, B, and C and we’re going to need some help with X, Y, and Z. Who want to bring or buy what?”

Good suggestions. OP, where is your spouse in this? Sounds like this is your spouse’s family and seems like spouse should be taking lead.

[Anonymous]

I host thanksgiving every year. My parents and in-laws are retired and my sister works from home. My BIL and his family have never hosted. I don’t mind hosting; I’m the best cook.