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I've seen quite a few posts where parents are agonizing over names and their potential derivative nicknames for little ones yet to be born- some of which are not obvious (see the Elizabeth->Birdie thread, for the most recent example).
For those of you who had a nickname like this selected, did you stick to it? Logistically, did other people (grandparents, etc) use this nickname when you asked them? How did it work for you and yours in daycare, early school, for example? FWIW, I'm expecting and have a hope that future DC will be called by a nickname, but I also have a niggling doubt that nicknames should just happen spontaneously. |
| We have an Edward called Teddy and it works so far. There are a lot of Teddys around these days (though most are Theodores) so people are used to it. I picked it because I specifically wanted to avoid Eddy. |
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Ours is a very natural nickname for her given name. She goes by it; everyone calls her it. Some of my inlaws actually get her given name wrong, but everyone uses the nickname.
Recently had to confirm her name to TSA in security and she indignantly corrected me. (Think: Jane Emily Johnson. "My name's not Jane! It's Janie!!") |
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It’s gone back and forth a lot. There have been years when she wanted to use her full name and others when she wanted the nickname. This was fine with me because I like both.
Family mostly followed our lead, but again, it never bothered me when they used her full name as opposed to nn. |
| We call her son by the initial of his middle name - J because he shares the same first name as my husband. Everybody calls him Jay. He’s in his 20s now. |
I think that the more tenuous the connection between name and nickname, and the more nickname options the given name has, the less likely it is that the nickname will necessarily stick. So Birdie for Elizabeth, which I think is very cute, has two things going against it. People will spontaneously call her Lizzie or Beth as she grows up, Birdie will seem like a family pet name and not necessarily for everyone to use. Whereas if you name your kid Nicholas and plan to call him Nick, all the elements are working in your favor. That's what teachers/classmates/colleagues will naturally want to shorten the name to, and there aren't a bunch of other options out there that people will default to. |
| My daughter is Veronica and her nickname is Vera (VEH-RA) When she was a baby, Vera seemed to fit her better, but in preschool she wanted to be Veronica. That held until 1st grade when there was a Victoria in her class and they were always getting them confused. Then she went back to Vera and that stuck. She’s in 5th grade and is still going by Vera. Not sure what she’ll do in the future! |
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We picked a name knowing that we would be using the nickname. Grandparents were onboard and use the nickname.
For school, I have emailed the teacher and let them know that my child prefers the nickname. Once in daycare, there was a teacher who preferred using her full name. My daughter complained to me about it, so one day at pickup I explained that she prefers the nickname and could she please call my daughter that. The teacher was obliging and my daughter was happy. My daughter is now more vocal about telling others her nickname. For short activities, like an ice skating session that lasts a couple weeks, I do not bother to tell the teacher her nickname. My daughter knows on the first day just to give her full name that's on the roster and that the teacher will probably not be calling out the kids names anyways. |
+1. This feels right to me. |
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The only thing I would really be wary of is if there’s a nickname you hate that’s associated with the name you like. So, if your son is Daniel but you hate Dan for example, I would steer clear of those names. You just never know.
I think if you pick a completely random nickname like Birdie it’s very likely that your kid starts using Elizabeth in school and Birdie becomes a name only mom and dad use. Even siblings tend to use the standard school name so people know who they’re talking about. |
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It didn't work out. Our other kids had five hundred other nicknames for her, she kept changing what she referred to herself as, and eventually it fell away. We're fine with that.
Alexandra Cecilia Lucia is not called Aly. She's called Lucky. Or Alex. Or Axl. |
| Op again- how about something like Junior or Trey or Sonny? Anyone have luck with those? |
I don't agree - if depends on how you intro the nickname. If you treat it as THE name then people go with it. Incidentally I know a Birdie who has never been called anything else whose actual first name is very far away from it (think classic name with a V). I doubt anyone even knows what her legal name is. |
It depends on your kid. I’ve met kids who hate being called Jr. and others who don’t mind. It always feels a little awkward to me when someone introduces their kid as Junior. What’s the name and nickname you want to use? |
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My mother picked a non-obvious nickname for me. It stuck for 18 years but I switched to my real name when I went to college because it seemed like a lot of work to explain it and how it's spelled. My childhood friends and family still call me that name and even now at 50, with most people calling me by my real name, the nickname still feels like my 'real name.'
My mother also picked a non-obvious nickname for my brother. He didn't like it and when he went to college he demanded that we all switch to the new name. He wouldn't answer to the nickname. Only a couple of old-timers in the family still call him the nickname. |