Birthday party etiquette
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| A kid in my 8 yo’s class invited all the boys in the class to his birthday except mine and one other boy. I kind of think this is crappy of the mom. Am I being unfair? |
Anonymous
| Extremely crappy!!!! My little brother was the one always excluded as a kid. I wish people would understand how much this hurts. I’m so sorry. |
Anonymous
| Its crappy but maybe the kids aren't friends, maybe your child is mean to their child, maybe the mom doesn't like you. Did you invite their kid to your party? Lots of reasons. We had entire class parties but as my kids got older if there was a child or two that was mean to them I didn't invite them. It was always uncomfortable when the parent reached out to get invited. My attitude is if you don't invite us or your kid is mean to mine, you don't, its our choice and I don't feel bad. |
Anonymous
| How many kids are we talking about? Excluding 2 of 14–crappy. Excluding 2 of 8 or 9–totally reasonable if they want/need a small party. |
Anonymous
| 2 out of 8. |
Anonymous
Probably those kids/moms are friendly and they aren't with you. |
Anonymous
See op how mean parents can be? |
Anonymous
Eh, not as bad as the whole class. Either the parents are all friends or the kids are. |
Anonymous
| Yes op it’s crappy. My kid is new in 4th at a Christian k-8. She went to a party today where the kid invited everyone. But there have been 2 prior parties that were in public places where she wasn’t invited. She wasn’t the only one I found out later but it’s still crappy. There are only 16 kids total in the class. |
Anonymous
|
What you’re saying is that 6 kids in the class were invited to a birthday party and your kid didn’t get an invite. This is perfectly fine.
They invited less than half the class. Come on OP. |
Anonymous
Not crappy. Are you friends? Did you invite them to your party? |
Anonymous
| With covid, 6 kids makes sense. |
Anonymous
|
Not inviting 2 out of 8 seems crappy. I’m not sure, but it seems like there’s a general rule of thumb that if you invite much more than 1/2 a group, you should invite the whole group (so if you only invite boys, that’s okay, even if they are slightly more than 1/2 the class), but you don’t want to be excluding specigic kids.
Is it possible that an evite got caught in your spam filter, or wires may have otherwise been crossed? A frequent complaint is people not responding to invites, and if there was a mix-up, the other mom may not have realized it and just thought you were non-responsive. Sorry your DS was left out. Hopefully the other moms will be more inclusive. |
Anonymous
| There was one family at a small private that invited all the girls but my DD and another kid. Every other party in class was (90%) whole class and maybe once a year an all boy /all girl party. First year my DD not invited after hearing all the other girls talk about she (and rest of girls) were sure it was mistake and was in (understandable) hysterics that I wouldn’t take her (party was after last day/half day of winter break. (I did confirm that it wasn’t a mistake-her name not on list of paperless invite list.) Repeated next year too though that year some families declined as they’d heard about the exclusion. I ended up both years grabbing other girl and joining some of the boy families for lunch nearby. My honest guess was the mom was weirdly competitive and my DD was victim of her insecurities. |
Anonymous
| Basically they invited 6 of the 8 boys. I know it wasn’t a mix up bc one of the other boys asked the birthday boy why he hadn’t invited ds and he said it never occurred to him. That’s understandable from an 8 yo boy but not from an adult. Agree I think half the boys would be acceptable - or half the whole class. But leaving out 2 feels crappy. And yes they have been invited to our parties - pre Covid when we had them |