Daycare boy being mean
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Anonymous
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Every day when my daughter comes home from daycare she has something to tell us about another student, let's call him Sven. It's always, "Today, Sven called me a dumbass," or "Sven played the pushing game today, it's when he pushes me," or "Sven said I'm a moron and boring and drew with marker on my shirt," or "Sven said asshole today. What's that mean?" or "Why does Sven say I'm an idiot to like dinosaurs and that dinosaurs are stupid?" or "Why does Sven say girls are dumb?" And so on. I'm getting kind of concerned that the kid is mean to her and has taught her a bunch of inappropriate words, even though I don't think he really understands what he's doing. He's 4. She's 3.
I want to approach the daycare teacher about this situation. I'm not sure what she can do, and I don't want to make too big a deal over this (my daughter doesn't actually seem that upset about it most of the time). It's an in home daycare and "Sven" is the teacher's grandson. How can I bring this up delicately, without making the teacher feel offended or defensive, and what outcome can I reasonably hope for here? |
Anonymous
| Bring it up asap and it’s not relevant if he’s the grandson. The outcome you hope for is that Sven stops bothering your child. He needs to shadow the teacher. |
Anonymous
| If it’s the grandson and this behavior has been going on for a while I wouldn’t hold high hopes for a change. |
Anonymous
| You need to tell the owner. If she does nothing, you should look for other care. |
Anonymous
| Take Sven out back. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Secure other care elsewhere. She won't kick her grandson out. If you complain, she will fill your spot and kick you out. |
Anonymous
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What would you expect the daycare provider to do? Kids are not getting kicked out of daycare for that type of behavior. While not "appropriate" it is common and something that most kids work through.
If you genuinely think she is not aware of Sven's behavior, you can bring it to her attention in the sense of "I'm hearings some things from my daughter and just wanted to make sure you were aware so you can handle appropriately..." But if you think your daycare provider is really that bad at paying attention to the kids in her care, you should probably be looking for another provider regardless of Sven's behavior. |
Anonymous
| This is what happens when you cheap out on childcare. |
Anonymous
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Please consider whether this can be a good opportunity to teach your own child- some resiliency, how to speak up for herself, to educate on whatever the topic is that Sven is putting down, etc.
I realize that she is 3 and it would be small things. But there are a million Svens out there and one in every daycare. (And consider that it is likely that in some ways your own daughter has likely been or will be "sven" to another kid). The best option is to equip your kid. (Obvious exceptions when there is threat of real physical harm.) |
Anonymous
| You're not going to want to hear this, but look for a new daycare. They are clearly not supervising children properly. |
Anonymous
No, it is not normal for kids to curse fluently. Nice try. |
Anonymous
| He sounds like trouble in a very small pool of kids. I’d move her ASAP. |
Anonymous
| ^^^Also I’d be concerned where he’s been hearing what he’s saying to your dd. Do his parents talk like that to him? Older siblings? Something sounds very off to me. |
Anonymous
| New daycare ASAP. |