Name mix up, WWYD?

[Anonymous]

I work in a school. There’s one student in 8th grade who I talk to a bit more than the others. I suspect this child, who was born female, identifies as male. For example, I’ve seen doodles where the student writes and draws about trans rights, writes down pronouns he/they, and writes down male names (especially one name that I suspect student has chosen as their name for when they come out as male).

The other day this student was telling me that they have two first names. It totally went over my head (thank you sleep deprivation!) and in retrospect, I think they were hinting that they’d like to go by the male name without outright saying it.

Is there a way I can sensitively bring this up with student? I was thinking of just saying “the other day, when you mentioned having two names, I think I misunderstood. Would you like me to call you by a different name?” and if the answer is yes, also ask “what pronouns would you like me to use?”

My school isn’t super supportive of LBGTQ+ students (a few staff members were concerned over the “trans rights” doodles, afraid a younger kid might see them) and I know this students parents would not be supportive of them coming out. So if that’s what is going on, I’d love to be the person who is in their corner. But I also don’t want to make an assumption and possibly offend the student.

[Anonymous]

Can you ask them “hey, remember when you said the other day that you have two first names? I was wondering what you meant and what you would like me to call you.”

[Anonymous]

Don’t bring it up. Listen more than talk. If the student asks you to call them by a different name do that but otherwise call them by the given name.

My school is the opposite. Now I have multiple students yearly who were born female and now identify as male or non-binary. Just my experience, I have not yet had a student born male switch genders. Same thing though. I call them by whatever name they tell me. It’s not different than the student who is named Jane but goes my her middle name, Sue. I call you Jane until you tell me Sue and then it’s fine. And if you decide tomorrow you want to be Laura or Mark, that’s fine too.

[Anonymous]

There is no name mix up. There is only your desire to stir up trouble. Do not hint or poke or prod about the name. Do not take this on as your cause. You are not this child's counselor or therapist. You are not designated by the parent/s to be discussing gender or names with their child. It is not your job. If you were one of my staff members and you did what you say you are intending then you would be out on your keister faster than I could say "out" regardless of my personal support (or not) of the cause.

[Anonymous]

Do nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do nothing.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Nothing has happened and there is nothing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing has happened and there is nothing to do.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask them “hey, remember when you said the other day that you have two first names? I was wondering what you meant and what you would like me to call you.”

This, OP.

And the other responses here show you why you have to ask. So much homophobia and transphobia here. Like you are going to "confuse" the student by simply asking them what they meant. Please. If it was nothing, they will say "What?" If it was something, they may tell you, or they may pretend not to remember, but they will know that they can come to you again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask them “hey, remember when you said the other day that you have two first names? I was wondering what you meant and what you would like me to call you.”

This, OP.

And the other responses here show you why you have to ask. So much homophobia and transphobia here. Like you are going to "confuse" the student by simply asking them what they meant. Please. If it was nothing, they will say "What?" If it was something, they may tell you, or they may pretend not to remember, but they will know that they can come to you again.

YES! Great they have a teacher like you nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask them “hey, remember when you said the other day that you have two first names? I was wondering what you meant and what you would like me to call you.”

This, OP.

And the other responses here show you why you have to ask. So much homophobia and transphobia here. Like you are going to "confuse" the student by simply asking them what they meant. Please. If it was nothing, they will say "What?" If it was something, they may tell you, or they may pretend not to remember, but they will know that they can come to you again.

YES! Great they have a teacher like you nearby.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you ask them “hey, remember when you said the other day that you have two first names? I was wondering what you meant and what you would like me to call you.”

+1. Sounds

[Anonymous]

As the mother of a non-binary child born female, I would love it if you asked that question of my child. Unlike many of the posters here (keister? really?) I can tell you that my child would appreciate this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no name mix up. There is only your desire to stir up trouble. Do not hint or poke or prod about the name. Do not take this on as your cause. You are not this child's counselor or therapist. You are not designated by the parent/s to be discussing gender or names with their child. It is not your job. If you were one of my staff members and you did what you say you are intending then you would be out on your keister faster than I could say "out" regardless of my personal support (or not) of the cause.

It literally is the teachers job.

Also, the post above is exactly why so many trans children are committing suicide. PLEASE do not listen to this idiot.