Application question: Will a school deny both kids if they deny one?
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Anonymous
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We are applying to private schools in the DC area. Our youngest would be in 1st grade next year and oldest in 6th grade.
The younger seems like he could easily get admitted to most schools if there is space (we aren't applying to the most competitive places). He is easy-going, cooperative, attentive to teachers, joyful, and curious. He's the type of kid that will probably do pretty well in most settings and could fit into whatever class profile they are pulling together. On the other hand, the older is not a student that schools will be falling all over themselves to admit. He fits the profile of a kid who is struggling in public school and needs smaller classes, more support, and a different approach. He is smart but doesn't particularly apply himself, and his teacher has told us that his test scores don't well represent what she thinks he actually knows. He is starting to show behavior issues in class, and there are some bullying issues in class that seem to be causing him further problems. These are all reasons why we want to look at a different option next year. We suspect he may have ADHD and/or anxiety as well and are getting an eval soon. We expect results in January but will likely still be sorting through what that means and strategies for helping support him better at the time when most apps are due. Do we need to worry that schools will look at both applicants together and make a decision on whether to admit our younger child based on whether they want to admit the older one? We are open to the possibility that we might need to send them to different schools (each has different needs and very different personalities, and one will be in middle school while the other is in elementary), although we would obviously prefer to send both to the same place. Should we discuss this with admissions? My worry is that I don't want to damage the chances of our younger kid getting into our top choice for him due to the older kid not being a great fit there. |
Anonymous
| No. |
Anonymous
| If you are open to separating the kids then I think it would have little impact on your youngest's acceptance. There are tons of siblings that attend different privates in the area. Perhaps if you convey you are dead set on having them at the same school this will impact your youngest's acceptance. |
Anonymous
| You should make it clear that you are open to sending your kids to separate schools or, yes, they may reject both kids. I know someone in a similar position -- one sibling was a stronger applicant than the other, who had similar behavior problems as you describe -- and the stronger applicant was rejected from schools where she seemed to be an obvious fit. |
Anonymous
| OP here. What is the best forum for conveying that we are open to splitting the kids between schools? Is there a way to do that naturally in the applications (which seem more focused on the individual applicant), or do we do that through admissions staff? |
Anonymous
Most applications have a "anything else you want us to know" question. In your younger child's application, I would answer that question something like, "We recognize that [younger child's] school needs may be different from [sibling]'s. [Younger child] needs [whatever first choice school offers]. We are open to sending them to different schools if necessary." |
Anonymous
| I have twins; 1 was accepted and the other was denied. |
Anonymous
Identical or fraternal? |
Anonymous
| I work on an admission team for one of the bigger schools. Just be clear that you realize they're different kids. I can't speak for other schools but I know I've definitely seen us admit one child and not a sibling. Sometimes that means both end up not attending (parent's choice). I don't know how our admission office compares to other "top 10" schools but we would not see this as an issue or impediment for your younger child. |
Anonymous
This is my worry. I have 2 8th graders applying to the same high schools. One is an easy fit almost anywhere, the other has good grades, but also some LD and not as many activities. |
Anonymous
| I have one in public and one in private. Two different schools may not be ideal but it’s working for us. To answer: the school will do what they want, both may not get admitted. |
Anonymous
Fraternal. Boy/girl. Girl was accepted |
Anonymous
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This happens all the time in admissions offices. More frequently, you will see them accept one child and not the other and have the parent decline the offer for the one child.
If the child that is admissible is someone the admissions office REALLY wants, you may see a little more leeway on the second child because of parents' general tendency to prefer that they only commute to one school. |
Anonymous
I agree that this can happen. I have two different friends with twins who applied to the same large popular private last year. Both sets of twins have one child that's quirky, ADHD, and needing a little extra support, but they look very similar on paper. The other twin in one set is a top student, high grades from middle school, and did well on entrance exams, while the other twin in the second set of twins is a more average student. The set of twins with the high achieving student both were accepted, the other set saw one admitted and the other rejected. |