Saying goodbye - when did you know?

[Anonymous]

My cat is old and has incurable cancer. Six times a day I put drugs down his throat to help with pain and secondary infections. He has good days and bad days. With my other cat, it was obvious when to let go and it came fast. This time around it is trickier, because just when I am ready to schedule the vet to come in, he has a bright-eyed day and wants snuggles and to knead my belly all evening. I love the little guy so much. These ups and downs are hard. I am not holding on for my sake, I don’t think—but when I see that he has a good day I remember how much love he has in him and how much he loves being a part of our family. He loves my kid, my husband, my dogs… He just wants to be with us all the time, even when I know he’s in pain. Anyone have thoughts or experiences to share? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Oh my, I am sending you warm thoughts and sincere wishes for peace. My best advice is ask your trusted vet to sit down for an honest heart-to-heart. If you don’t have one you trust that much, consider talking to someone at the Hope Center in Vienna VA. I am a dog person, so I don’t have experience with cats. But the love is so real and from your post I can see you are a truly loving human. Your kitty is very lucky to have you. Hugs to all.

[Anonymous]

I do doggie hospice and have also been with my own dogs in their final days. I know it’s time when they stop eating for 24 hours or more. I also know it’s time when a vet tells me that— based on clinical signs or lab results—they’re fairly sure the dog is suffering.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry and send you warm thoughts. We are currently going through the same situation with our kitty who is 13. She has just been diagnosed with cancer on her spine that makes it hard for her to walk. She has a GI issue which we're medicating and hyperthyroid. The vets don't think she is a good candidate for surgery. Our vet has told us it's time to start thinking about letting go.

For us we know it's time cause she can't really walk, she can no longer use the litter box and she has stopped cleaning herself. Not to mention the amount of medication we have to shove down her throat everyday. This is not the quality of life we want for our little angel.

It's so hard and I'm so devastated. But I don't want her to suffer because I can't be brave.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the kind responses. My cat is still hanging in there. After a bad couple days, he drank a huge bowl of water last night and today he’s been back up and eating like a horse and even chased & beat up my other cat. It’s baffling… I thought I’d be on the phone to schedule the in-home euthanasia vet today, not breaking up a cat fight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am so sorry and send you warm thoughts. We are currently going through the same situation with our kitty who is 13. She has just been diagnosed with cancer on her spine that makes it hard for her to walk. She has a GI issue which we're medicating and hyperthyroid. The vets don't think she is a good candidate for surgery. Our vet has told us it's time to start thinking about letting go.

For us we know it's time cause she can't really walk, she can no longer use the litter box and she has stopped cleaning herself. Not to mention the amount of medication we have to shove down her throat everyday. This is not the quality of life we want for our little angel.

It's so hard and I'm so devastated. But I don't want her to suffer because I can't be brave.

OP here. I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to see these little guys suffer.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. One day you’ll look at your sweet pet and just know. You haven’t gotten there yet. I also wondered the same thing and yet one day I saw my poor dog suffering and made the call that day. oddly enough two days later when the vet arrived he was already disoriented and in the beginning stages of dying she said (stopped eating that day, seemed very confused, didn’t want to be held, generally acting strangely). Looking back I have no idea the two days prior how I knew it was time but it just happened.

[Anonymous]

My cat had cancer. I found lumps on each of her memory chains, but one stayed small, and the other grew enormously. I chose not to treat it because it tends to come back and more aggressively, and it's expensive. In my case, I had her put down when she was still pretty healthy. It was really, really important to me that she not suffer a single moment. She was already on the max dose of hyperthyroid meds which is sold in 6 month supplies. I bought 6 months worth and schedule her appointment for a couple weeks after her meds ran out. Her tumor was quite large by then, and had grown so the skin was stretch to the point of no fur and starting to break open and ooze a little. She seemed "fine" but she had such a rough early life, I didn't want her to feel any pain or anything. It was still the hardest thing I've ever done---just so gutting. I had her privately cremated and kept her ashes.

[Anonymous]

PP here---the point I was trying to make is no matter when you do it, it will be really hard. Just know that. But not making them suffer is also a kindness.