When your heart will not listen

[Anonymous]

What do you do when you have a litany of excellent reasons not to be romantically interested in or involved with someone but you continue to be insanely attracted to and basically in love with them despite your best efforts not to be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do when you have a litany of excellent reasons not to be romantically interested in or involved with someone but you continue to be insanely attracted to and basically in love with them despite your best efforts not to be?

OP and adding, assume you are already abstaining from actually staying with them.

[Anonymous]

“In love?”
Sounds like an intense crush and sexual attraction. But not “in love.”

[Anonymous]

You cut of contact. Block the person, their friends, family. Stop snooping on social media. If necessary move to a new town and live your life.

[Anonymous]

You do all the things above and remind yourself that their farts don’t smell of roses.

[Anonymous]

you remind yourself they will be a crappy partner for you and you deserve better. And of course avoid them at all cost.

[Anonymous]

I ruminate over all their bad qualities and reasons to breakup over and over again. Then I start dating after breaking up immediately to distract myself. Focus on yourself, hobbies, getting or staying in shape and being around family and friends. Don’t contact the ex, block if you have little control. Write a list of qualities that you want in your next partner and imagine meeting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You cut of contact. Block the person, their friends, family. Stop snooping on social media. If necessary move to a new town and live your life.

OP and already did all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I ruminate over all their bad qualities and reasons to breakup over and over again. Then I start dating after breaking up immediately to distract myself. Focus on yourself, hobbies, getting or staying in shape and being around family and friends. Don’t contact the ex, block if you have little control. Write a list of qualities that you want in your next partner and imagine meeting them.

I’ve don all this and still have not met the partner who can displace him. I have tried so hard for so long. I have a rational mind but my emotions do not get the memo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I ruminate over all their bad qualities and reasons to breakup over and over again. Then I start dating after breaking up immediately to distract myself. Focus on yourself, hobbies, getting or staying in shape and being around family and friends. Don’t contact the ex, block if you have little control. Write a list of qualities that you want in your next partner and imagine meeting them.

I’ve don all this and still have not met the partner who can displace him. I have tried so hard for so long. I have a rational mind but my emotions do not get the memo.

How old are you? How do you know this person?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cut of contact. Block the person, their friends, family. Stop snooping on social media. If necessary move to a new town and live your life.

OP and already did all this.

Then time for therapy if you can’t move on.

He’s not worth your energy. Get a new job, hobby, or something to keep you busy

[Anonymous]

My guess is that is this supposed love interest is totally messed up, but did a great job of love bombing you. They made you feel amazing, and you’re looking for that high again. You rationally know that this person is unhealthy for you and cannot sustain that crazy, excited feeling you get when you’re with them. Unfortunately, you’re choosing to forget all the crappy parts of this person.

Meanwhile, you continue to pursue relationships. But the healthy, sane ones don’t love bomb. They’re not as exciting and messy and thrilling. It makes you pine for that rush with the first one even more.

Solution: Get into some therapy and grow up.

[Anonymous]

Time is the most important factor. How much time has passed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time is the most important factor. How much time has passed?

Years.

[Anonymous]

Get other interests. It sounds like this person is filling a hole in your life that no one person, no matter how spectacular, should ever be expected to fill. You need other passions, friends, community, reason for living that just puts into perspective the longing of romantic love.