Celebrating Hanukkah for only a few nights

[Anonymous]

My DH is Jewish (at least, culturally / ethnically, not really religiously) and has repeatedly told me it’s important to him that we celebrate Jewish holidays with our three young kids (we also celebrate Christmas and Easter).

But DH doesn’t want to light the candles every night of Hanukkah because he thinks it’s a pain, and he just wants to get the kids in bed at the end of the day. He says doing it just a few days is fine.

I guess if he’s ok with it I’m ok with it, but is this something non-religious Jews often do? Just celebrate Hanukkah for a few of the nights?

[Anonymous]

I think lighting the candles literally only takes a minute but people can and do, do whatever they want.
I’m sure some people are lazy and don’t care and don’t do it every night lol. I think it’s pretty.

It’s not a major holiday so if he wants to do more for the high holidays and passover / that’s his prerogative. I grew up half Jewish and we did whatever my parents felt like.

[Anonymous]

We just do one night, so sure. Interfaith family, more for cultural connection than anything else.

[Anonymous]

It takes 5 minutes maximum the way we do it, and ir is ONCE a year.

[Anonymous]

We’re only vaguely part-Jewish and some nights we don’t get around to doing it. But the first and last night always happen, and then a smattering of the other nights.

[Anonymous]

We light them at the start of dinner and enjoy seeing them burn while we eat. We always do them all but not necessarily on the correct nights. We have taken a break to travel for Christmas and finish when we get back We enjoy it and also what are you going to do with the extra candles ???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We light them at the start of dinner and enjoy seeing them burn while we eat. We always do them all but not necessarily on the correct nights. We have taken a break to travel for Christmas and finish when we get back We enjoy it and also what are you going to do with the extra candles ???

DP. I save my extra candles every year and I don't care if my candles don't match in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We light them at the start of dinner and enjoy seeing them burn while we eat. We always do them all but not necessarily on the correct nights. We have taken a break to travel for Christmas and finish when we get back We enjoy it and also what are you going to do with the extra candles ???

We also make a game out of trying to predict which candle will be the last one to burn out. The kids still enjoy this as teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It takes 5 minutes maximum the way we do it, and ir is ONCE a year.

Well, 8 times. Unless you're OP.

[Anonymous]

Some years we do 8 days, some we do a few. It really varies.

[Anonymous]

We have always lit the menorah for all eight nights. It takes five minutes to light it and open gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re only vaguely part-Jewish and some nights we don’t get around to doing it. But the first and last night always happen, and then a smattering of the other nights.

Same here on the vaguely part Jewish piece, although we missed the first night this year due to travel. If we miss a night we don't worry about it. And if we are away we don't pack a menorah. We do try to have latkes one night if there isn't some kind of bigger family event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We light them at the start of dinner and enjoy seeing them burn while we eat. We always do them all but not necessarily on the correct nights. We have taken a break to travel for Christmas and finish when we get back We enjoy it and also what are you going to do with the extra candles ???

We also make a game out of trying to predict which candle will be the last one to burn out. The kids still enjoy this as teens.

I thought my teens were the only crazy-competitve ones who did this! Have to say I am surprised by people choosing to celebrate only one night. That would not fly in my house growing up, nor in my interfaith house today.

[Anonymous]

You could get an electric menorah for the years when your kids are young and evenings are really hard. That way you skip adding the candles, and lighting a match, and just have a quick moment to say the prayer, bask in the glow of something pretty and say 'Happy Hanukah' to help create some positive association for your kids to their Jewish side. it's halfway over already, so hurry up if so

[Anonymous]

We do every night. It is a special tradition in our household. We light candles with the prayers. Then we sing a bunch of Chanukah songs afterwards. Some nights we give presents, though this year each kid just gets one gift for the whole holiday. It's nice to establish traditions for the children to look forward to, especially if your husband wants your kids to positively associate with Judaism. This is one of the least religious holidays so I am not sure why your husband can't muster up the energy to at least observe this one holiday, which happens to be a fun one. Maybe it isn't so important to him to have his children identify positively with Judaism. I don't know. He can do whatever he wants. I guess something is better than nothing. Yes. I am judging him.