Is the teen PEERS social program good?

[Anonymous]

My high schooler has no friends, and back when he had friends, never had more than one or two, and never asked to hang out with them outside of school. He has ADHD (suspected HFA and anxiety). He doesn't seem to be worried about friendships - he just doesn't seem to NEED them. However I think socializing with peers is probably a good thing to prepare him for college.

Would the PEERS program be a good fit?

[Anonymous]

It was an excellent program for my child, the best social skills class we've done. But it's a lot of work, so it's only worth it if your child is motivated to learn and practice the skills. He has to actively want friends, as opposed to you wanting them for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was an excellent program for my child, the best social skills class we've done. But it's a lot of work, so it's only worth it if your child is motivated to learn and practice the skills. He has to actively want friends, as opposed to you wanting them for him.

Thank you. What do you mean exactly, learn and practice the skills? Are they given homework, or do you mean just putting what they learn in the group into practice in their everyday lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It was an excellent program for my child, the best social skills class we've done. But it's a lot of work, so it's only worth it if your child is motivated to learn and practice the skills. He has to actively want friends, as opposed to you wanting them for him.

Thank you. What do you mean exactly, learn and practice the skills? Are they given homework, or do you mean just putting what they learn in the group into practice in their everyday lives?

Yes, they are given homework. At first, the assignment is to practice the taught conversational skills with another group participant, but by the end, you are supposed to practice them with someone in school/an outside activity, and report back to the group about how it went. One of the reasons why the program was successful for us was that the homework forced my child to work on generalizing the skills. If your child isn't going to do the homework, they won't really learn the skills and it's not worth the time (or money).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler has no friends, and back when he had friends, never had more than one or two, and never asked to hang out with them outside of school. He has ADHD (suspected HFA and anxiety). He doesn't seem to be worried about friendships - he just doesn't seem to NEED them. However I think socializing with peers is probably a good thing to prepare him for college.

Would the PEERS program be a good fit?

OP, I suggest you respect his own values. If he isn't upset by his lack of friendships, there is nothing to fix. You assume that friendships will add value to his life because that is what you value. Not everyone has the same need. Have a conversation with him and ask if he'd be interested in having more friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler has no friends, and back when he had friends, never had more than one or two, and never asked to hang out with them outside of school. He has ADHD (suspected HFA and anxiety). He doesn't seem to be worried about friendships - he just doesn't seem to NEED them. However I think socializing with peers is probably a good thing to prepare him for college.

Would the PEERS program be a good fit?

OP, I suggest you respect his own values. If he isn't upset by his lack of friendships, there is nothing to fix. You assume that friendships will add value to his life because that is what you value. Not everyone has the same need. Have a conversation with him and ask if he'd be interested in having more friendships.

OP here. Sure, this is why I haven't done anything until now. But he's in 11th grade, and college is looming, and he literally never goes anywhere with anybody, unless we bring him with us. It would be nice if he could make a friend and go do stuff with that friend (walking to grab lunch somewhere, go to the movies, whatever), to prepare for life without parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My high schooler has no friends, and back when he had friends, never had more than one or two, and never asked to hang out with them outside of school. He has ADHD (suspected HFA and anxiety). He doesn't seem to be worried about friendships - he just doesn't seem to NEED them. However I think socializing with peers is probably a good thing to prepare him for college.

Would the PEERS program be a good fit?

OP, I suggest you respect his own values. If he isn't upset by his lack of friendships, there is nothing to fix. You assume that friendships will add value to his life because that is what you value. Not everyone has the same need. Have a conversation with him and ask if he'd be interested in having more friendships.

OP here. Sure, this is why I haven't done anything until now. But he's in 11th grade, and college is looming, and he literally never goes anywhere with anybody, unless we bring him with us. It would be nice if he could make a friend and go do stuff with that friend (walking to grab lunch somewhere, go to the movies, whatever), to prepare for life without parents.

I agree that being able to buy lunch, etc., is an important life skill. But if he's happier doing that by himself, there's nothing wrong with that. Having a friend -- unless you want one -- will not add value and is not necessary for going to college. One of the things they ask during PEERs intake is whether the child wants to do it. They ask that when you're not there.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Yikes, I just asked, and it's more than $3K!

Is that the usual price for such a program? It's the winter Secret Agent Social Program Peers group at Alliance Pediatrics.

[Anonymous]

PEERS was by far the single most useful thing we did with our then 14/15-year-old HFA son. As others have said, you and your child must do the work, be committed to learning. I would recommend Dr. Black's office in MD. There are other PEERS programs out there. I think Dr. Black runs a quality program. Picture your son's potential future *not* having invested the time and money. The program costs can begin to look *very* affordable in that light. Also, what may seem like a long slog of 16 weeks really is just a blip on your timeline when it's all done with. Wishing you the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here.

Yikes, I just asked, and it's more than $3K!

Is that the usual price for such a program? It's the winter Secret Agent Social Program Peers group at Alliance Pediatrics.

It sounds expensive but it's really an hour and a half of therapy for 14 weeks for two people. That's not too bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
OP here.

Yikes, I just asked, and it's more than $3K!

Is that the usual price for such a program? It's the winter Secret Agent Social Program Peers group at Alliance Pediatrics.

Is that the Abrams practice? We did not have a great experience there. The facilitators were nice and knowledgable, but the admin was very disorganized and the groups were absolutely useless in terms of the curriculum. It really depends on what your child needs though. I'd ask for examples of lessons before committing. We wasted a lot of time and money with things DC did not need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PEERS was by far the single most useful thing we did with our then 14/15-year-old HFA son. As others have said, you and your child must do the work, be committed to learning. I would recommend Dr. Black's office in MD. There are other PEERS programs out there. I think Dr. Black runs a quality program. Picture your son's potential future *not* having invested the time and money. The program costs can begin to look *very* affordable in that light. Also, what may seem like a long slog of 16 weeks really is just a blip on your timeline when it's all done with. Wishing you the best.

I'm the PP above who also recommended PEERs. We also did it at Dr. Black's office, and I think they did a really good job.

We got some of the cost back through insurance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP here.

Yikes, I just asked, and it's more than $3K!

Is that the usual price for such a program? It's the winter Secret Agent Social Program Peers group at Alliance Pediatrics.

Is that the Abrams practice? We did not have a great experience there. The facilitators were nice and knowledgable, but the admin was very disorganized and the groups were absolutely useless in terms of the curriculum. It really depends on what your child needs though. I'd ask for examples of lessons before committing. We wasted a lot of time and money with things DC did not need

OP here.

The PhDs in the practice are Drs. Anna Burns and Joy Kolb. It's a practice in Gaithersburg.

Anyone heard of it?

[Anonymous]

I think Dr. Kolb works at Diener.
The Secret Agent Social Program being a match would depend on the activities in my opinion rather than the actual heads of the practice. You should look at the Unstuck program, Secret Agent Social and other programs and make sure that's what your child needs. The other big question is the other kids. Sometimes it's a match for your child's needs and some times it's not. When my child did a group his needs were not the same as the other kids which helped his self confidence because he actually it turned out did not need this particular program but it did nothing to help his challenges.

[Anonymous]

Is peers that complicated to run? Is it possible parents could give kids these assignments on their own, first practicing with a sibling or cousin and then practicing with people at school?