17 year old curfew

[Anonymous]

DS just turned 17 last week. Great kid- good grades and good friends. But head buried in phone most of the time at home. Some social media but mainly sports videos.
All good. We let him have a lot of freedom. Goes and does what he wants. We argue a bit about curfew. Weekends 11:30 to midnight.
He kind of does his own thing most of the time- school sports practice and then goes out with his friends on weekends.
Tonite he came home from being out with friends from after school to 11:40pm. He came in grumpy and wanted to go out in neighborhood to some girls house (these girls have no parental supervision.. rich parents who travel and seem mostly concerned with their own social life) and we said no. He was super mad. Said we are ridiculous. I explained it’s awful late to head to some girls house in neighborhood- time to head to bed.
Am I being fair? He’s also been sick so I said to get good night sleep.

[Anonymous]

Why are you questioning yourself? He’s sick. He needs to be home.

[Anonymous]

If he is sick he should not be going out. I base curfew on what they are going not a specific time but require a check in. I would say no to the girl's house too but say they could come to ours another time.

[Anonymous]

When my DD was that age I was more interested in where she was and what she was doing than what time she got back. So she didn’t have a set curfew because the social life that she and her friends had built did involve driving around to different houses in the evening, hanging out, cooking in the kitchen, watching movies etc. Sometimes it was our house so I could eavesdrop a bit sometimes it was other houses. But 11:30 would have been very early to require her to be home, These were nice creative kids who had fun hanging out together not a party crowd but she was seldom home before 130.. Look, if kids are going to party and they’re going to do it when they want. I don’t find the general concept of absolute curfew a particularly useful one thats going to do a whole lot to keep kids safe. But obviously having regular good communication about where they are going, who they are with, and being absolutely positively sure there is no alcohol with driving is essential.

[Anonymous]

If he is a senior it’s reasonable for him to stay out past 12 occasionally.

He did the right thing, he came home and asked to go out more instead of missing curfew or calling for an extension.

You should be more flexible.

If he was well enough to be out before 11 he is well enough to be out after 11.

[Anonymous]

These kids have had so little time to socialize I’d be inclined to cut him some slack on opportunities to do so

[Anonymous]

Do you usually never say "no" to your precious prince? I can't believe this is even a thread.

[Anonymous]

I would not have let him go back out at almost midnight, especially since he’s recently been ill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS just turned 17 last week. Great kid- good grades and good friends. But head buried in phone most of the time at home. Some social media but mainly sports videos.
All good. We let him have a lot of freedom. Goes and does what he wants. We argue a bit about curfew. Weekends 11:30 to midnight.
He kind of does his own thing most of the time- school sports practice and then goes out with his friends on weekends.
Tonite he came home from being out with friends from after school to 11:40pm. He came in grumpy and wanted to go out in neighborhood to some girls house (these girls have no parental supervision.. rich parents who travel and seem mostly concerned with their own social life) and we said no. He was super mad. Said we are ridiculous. I explained it’s awful late to head to some girls house in neighborhood- time to head to bed.
Am I being fair? He’s also been sick so I said to get good night sleep.

1130 is a little early for 17. I would say 12 or 1230 curfew as long as he is not driving from being “out”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS just turned 17 last week. Great kid- good grades and good friends. But head buried in phone most of the time at home. Some social media but mainly sports videos.
All good. We let him have a lot of freedom. Goes and does what he wants. We argue a bit about curfew. Weekends 11:30 to midnight.
He kind of does his own thing most of the time- school sports practice and then goes out with his friends on weekends.
Tonite he came home from being out with friends from after school to 11:40pm. He came in grumpy and wanted to go out in neighborhood to some girls house (these girls have no parental supervision.. rich parents who travel and seem mostly concerned with their own social life) and we said no. He was super mad. Said we are ridiculous. I explained it’s awful late to head to some girls house in neighborhood- time to head to bed.
Am I being fair? He’s also been sick so I said to get good night sleep.

I think he thought he was gonna get laid, I can see why he was mad

[Anonymous]

I have a 17 year old and I would not have said yes to walking to girls' house at 11:40 at night.

But I would also not have told him to go to bed or that he needs a good nights sleep - back off the stuff you can't control.

Yes to a curfew and 11:30 is reasonable.

[Anonymous]

My 17 yo's curfew is midnight, but I think that 11:30 is completely reasonable. I also always know where he is (thank you iPhone). My 17yo is a junior, not a senior, fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Junior: 11pm
Senior: midnight

Few exceptions if I know where they are and not at a party, no drinking, no weed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you usually never say "no" to your precious prince? I can't believe this is even a thread.

+1 LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you usually never say "no" to your precious prince? I can't believe this is even a thread.

He is 17. In a year he will be 18. It is difficult to negotiate these changing boundaries as they become adults. Glad you find it so easy though and I am sure your children never get up to mischief...