Is it normal to play by yourself at the playground for an hour?

[Anonymous]

DD goes to a preschool where the first hour is playground time. She mostly plays or swings by herself. I’ve occasionally sat in my car taking calls to see because I was concerned. Is this okay, should I let it go? Or should I encourage her to play with the other kids? Should I set up playdates?

Fwiw, when she gets together with kids she’s known for a while outside of preschool, she plays with them well. I’m sad to see her alone on the preschool playground though.

[Anonymous]

I was an only child and usually played by myself, OP. I had a very active imagination and remember acting out lots of stories from my imaginary worlds. I'm sure she's not feeling sad at all!

[Anonymous]

If she's content, it's probably fine. Maybe she just needs some time to warm up. Maybe she has a great imagination and is in her own world. You might encourage her to invite another kid to swing with her. Or ask her teacher about her socializing with other kids overall. But if she generally gets along with other kids, I wouldn't assume an issue. Have playdates if you and she want them.

[Anonymous]

How long has she been attending there. She might play with them more indoors and enjoy some space to herself outdoors. Some don't like the chaos of running about and noise level outside. Playing alone may be here way of transitioning in for the day.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure what you think you could do to change this. I'm also not sure why you think it's a problem. If in general her social skills are fine, I wouldn't spend another minute worrying about this. Is she 3 or 4? Often kids are still figuring out how to play WITH other kids at this age, and not just NEAR other kids.

Does she seem unhappy? Does she talk about "friends"? If so, I'd let this go.

[Anonymous]

How old? This is likely an age thing. When they're younger they mostly do side by side play versus playing with another person.

A lot of kids enjoy playing by themselves and there's nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

An hour of free play seems like a lot to me if there’s no structure whatsoever. Having said that, if your kid seems fine with it she’s probably ok. Ask the teacher if they can maybe see if a few kids want to play a game together or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An hour of free play seems like a lot to me if there’s no structure whatsoever. Having said that, if your kid seems fine with it she’s probably ok. Ask the teacher if they can maybe see if a few kids want to play a game together or something.

An hour of free play sounds awesome to me. Let the kids burn off some energy before they are expected to sit still, plus free play is so critical for kids' development.

[Anonymous]

In pre-school, you should expect parallel play. So they don't play with each other but they play next to each other. I would not worry about this.

[Anonymous]

Not if you are an adult. In some places, like NYC, you aren't even allowed alone in fenced playground areas!

<--- for those who don't get sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An hour of free play seems like a lot to me if there’s no structure whatsoever. Having said that, if your kid seems fine with it she’s probably ok. Ask the teacher if they can maybe see if a few kids want to play a game together or something.

An hour of free play sounds awesome to me. Let the kids burn off some energy before they are expected to sit still, plus free play is so critical for kids' development.

normally I would agree. But if I’m paying for preschool I would exist more than this.

[Anonymous]

OP I understand your stress over this but I agree with PPs it's developmentally normal.

I don't know if this will make you feel better, but my 4 yo is definitely a loner on the playground at school. It causes me so much stress! All the other kids seem to play together and have fun together, and she always hangs back and keeps to herself. She just doesn't like big group playing and prefers calmer activities, and the playground vibe in her preschool is fast paced and loud and all the kids running around together. I know the teachers are working on helping the quieter kids find each other but of course the quieter kids are also more shy so it just takes time.

I just try to remind myself that the challenge comes from the setting, and not from anything "wrong" with DD. She's doing great and developing social skills and has relationships with both peers and adults. She is unlikely to be the most gregarious kid on the playground and that is okay! That kid is complex too and might struggle with a different aspect of school life.

It is so hard not to worry about our kids. I'd talk to the teacher about it but not make it a big deal. It's really fine.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your posts. I feel a bit better now, though perhaps I’ll talk to the teacher and ask DD if she wants a playdate. We have been careful with having new people in our home but maybe it’s time to relax that.

[Anonymous]

Very normal in PK.

[Anonymous]

My kid's loved getting to daycare early because it meant they had first come first served access to "the good toys."

Maybe that's what is happening? Maybe she loves the swings but knows that once more kids arrive, she'll have to take turns, wait in line, and only get short swinging sessions. Same with the other activities she does solo.

My one son would go down the slide pretty much nonstop until more kids showed up. He said it was because that was his favorite thing to do but at afternoon outdoor play he had to wait and only got a few turns.