Tips for sahm with nanny

[Anonymous]

OP of other thread here and given my job fell apart one week before I was scheduled to return from leave - I will be sah with a nanny for at least a few months while I regroup and figure out what’s next. We have an existing nanny (who is happy to stay on) and as a reminder kids are 4/2/and 3mo. I mainly want to spend time with the kids but also want to have time to exercise, get to physical therapy, and get any downtime I need since I don’t have a minute of downtime on evenings or weekends (not looking for a lot, just like a chance nap or something). 4yo is in school 4mornings a week for 3 hours (2 hours of free time between drop off and pick up as he needed a special program a bit of a ways away) and 2yo is in preschool 2mornings a week at the same place.

For those tips for making this work well for all? I’m assuming you need a predictable schedule of who is taking care of who when so the kids know what to expect? Did it have to be super firm or could it change some week to week? Other tips?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read the other thread…. But I assume you lost your job? Fire the nanny. Your job is now mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read the other thread…. But I assume you lost your job? Fire the nanny. Your job is now mom.

Yes I read it - now in looking for logistical tactics, how to schedule the time and dividing responsibilities to make it easy for everyone. No I was not fired - due to Covid evolving my role would need to and be able to travel a lot. With 3 such little kids I’m not interested in being on the road a lot and thanks to my previous start ups financial success (and my husbands health insurance / salary) I have the means to stay home with help. I’m lucky to have had previous success and now have options, even if I’m unlucky that my roll changed to one I’m no longer interested in on short notice. I’m sure knowing I’m not some failure will piss you off more but your assumption that I’m incapable and must be punished for it is puzzling

[Anonymous]

I exercise, get coffee with friends, run errands, get a mani pedi when kids are in preschool. I also used to attend moms group events with a baby but not sure if those are even happening anymore with covid.

Before covid, I would host and attend play dates with a baby. It was more for adult interaction. During Covid, I would meet up with those moms for stroller walks and park outings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read the other thread…. But I assume you lost your job? Fire the nanny. Your job is now mom.

Yes I read it - now in looking for logistical tactics, how to schedule the time and dividing responsibilities to make it easy for everyone. No I was not fired - due to Covid evolving my role would need to and be able to travel a lot. With 3 such little kids I’m not interested in being on the road a lot and thanks to my previous start ups financial success (and my husbands health insurance / salary) I have the means to stay home with help. I’m lucky to have had previous success and now have options, even if I’m unlucky that my roll changed to one I’m no longer interested in on short notice. I’m sure knowing I’m not some failure will piss you off more but your assumption that I’m incapable and must be punished for it is puzzling

And I’m sure you’ll now jump on my typos from responding while cooking breakfast. No need to waste your time trying to make me feel dumb or incapable bc you don’t like my choices

[Anonymous]

Genuinely puzzled. You mention your "previous startup's financial success" but can't figure out how to organize your day? Do what pleases you and furthers your longer term goals.

I don't know how you could post what you've written without knowing you'd provoke. That's the definition of a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I exercise, get coffee with friends, run errands, get a mani pedi when kids are in preschool. I also used to attend moms group events with a baby but not sure if those are even happening anymore with covid.

Before covid, I would host and attend play dates with a baby. It was more for adult interaction. During Covid, I would meet up with those moms for stroller walks and park outings.

Did you stay out near their school? I’m thinking through how to use the preschool time and it feels like by the time I get home / wait for baby to wake up and feed baby it’s (almost) time to turn around again. I’m thinking about just bringing my pump with me and staying out by their school for the 2 hours but other than putz around target and homegoods not sure what I’d do

[Anonymous]

Can your nanny do either drop off or pick up for the preschool kids? Or could you take a walk with baby or do a mommy+me fitness class w baby near their preschool?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Genuinely puzzled. You mention your "previous startup's financial success" but can't figure out how to organize your day? Do what pleases you and furthers your longer term goals.

I don't know how you could post what you've written without knowing you'd provoke. That's the definition of a troll.

This was unexpected and happened literally the week before I was supposed to go back. I never considered staying home and maternity leave didn’t work great (I basically stayed in my room with the baby during the day to not interrupt the nanny’s routine) so I’m just trying to get tips on how to make my new routine work well. I know how to make a schedule - I don’t have experience in tag teaming with a nanny when it’s not just fully separate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can your nanny do either drop off or pick up for the preschool kids? Or could you take a walk with baby or do a mommy+me fitness class w baby near their preschool?

Sry forgot the part where your nanny is full time - guess it makes no sense to bring baby on preschool drop off. I would get some exercise, do appointments, grocery shop, etc during preschool. Or yea, see if nanny can do one of the driving legs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I exercise, get coffee with friends, run errands, get a mani pedi when kids are in preschool. I also used to attend moms group events with a baby but not sure if those are even happening anymore with covid.

Before covid, I would host and attend play dates with a baby. It was more for adult interaction. During Covid, I would meet up with those moms for stroller walks and park outings.

Did you stay out near their school? I’m thinking through how to use the preschool time and it feels like by the time I get home / wait for baby to wake up and feed baby it’s (almost) time to turn around again. I’m thinking about just bringing my pump with me and staying out by their school for the 2 hours but other than putz around target and homegoods not sure what I’d do

Their schools are all 5-10 min from our house.

The first month I stopped working, it was glorious and I literally just rested. I did everything I didn’t/couldn’t find time to do when I was working. I only had 2 kids though. I got pregnant and had another baby the following year. Have been home ever since.

[Anonymous]

Get out of the house and let her work in peace. Easier on you, the nanny and your child (who will be wanting Mom).

[Anonymous]

Just realized you will be massively judged for not working and having a nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just realized you will be massively judged for not working and having a nanny.

That was the other thread. Focus.

[Anonymous]

Your nanny’s role has to change.

Our nanny was half housekeeper. As soon as she got to the house, she would help with breakfast. She did this while I worked and when I stopped working. She did the dishes, wiped the table, vacuumed crumbs. She may do laundry one morning, clean up the playroom, etc for a few hours per day. She also cooked for us. I know that all nannies don’t do this but it would not have worked for our home for the nanny to continue only providing childcare when I didn’t work.