high school counselor - when and how often to talk to them?

[Anonymous]

DS is in 9th grade, how often should he and us parents need to communicate with his HS counselor and what do you typically talk about during meetings? is it typically just kid with counselor or parents with counselor or all of us together?

DS is a good kid with no trouble at school with good grade.

[Anonymous]

I never talked to my kid’s counselor and I think my kid only did when required to (to get sign off on schedule etc). That said my kid was pretty responsible/self-motivated and I never really had any questions that I thought needed to be addressed.

These counselors have like 500 kids assigned to them so I think it’s very much use them if you need to.

[Anonymous]

Over the years I have talked with my kids' HS counselor when they needed to switch classes, we had an ADHD diagnosis and had to schedule a 504 meeting, and recently when DD has had an extended absence because of illness. We now meet annually for 504 review and the kids meet individually with her annually to discuss course selection. There's no need to contact them if all is going well.

[Anonymous]

Do you mean when/how to talk to the counselor about college? This is the College and University forum, so I think this isn't a question about getting a IEP set up.

[Anonymous]

This time of year, counselors are focused on the seniors applying to college, so be prepared to wait for his turn. Seniors will be applying into January. Counselors are trying to the seniors set.

[Anonymous]

At a big public HS we never had a meeting with the counselor about college applications. We were asked to fill out a brag sheet for her recommendation letter. For DS, who graduated last year, we briefly discussed his applications during his regular 504 meeting. I also happened to sit in on DD's course selection meeting last year since it was online during DL. I brought up some questions about rigor in regards to college aspirations but otherwise that meeting would have just been at school between DD and counselor.

If my kids' wanted counselor input on college applications they could set up meetings with her or the school's dedicated college counselor but they never did so because I'm very knowledgeable about the process. If we didn't know where to start I probably would have scheduled a meeting for parent+ kid + college counselor.

[Anonymous]

If all is well, there is no need to talk to a counselor that has 500 students. It isn't going to move the needle on the senior year college recommendation. In this situation, I would anticipate the counselor forms for college apps being relatively perfunctory, as the high school counselor's primary duties lie outside of college admissions as a practical matter. Moreover, counselors do sometimes change; having a brand new counselor senior year is something that can happen, and is not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

^To add to above, w/500 students and a likely focus that is not on college admissions, you can already guess you will not get much help from the high school counselor for college stuff.

So, welcome to the forum. Stick around over the next few years and learn about the process. At this point in time, all your kid needs to do is get good grades in courses that challenge her, and get involved in things that interest her. What you can do now is begin to understand the cost of different types of colleges, what your budget will be, whether your kids will be eligible for need-based aid and whether the aid would make it affordable or, alternatively, send you on a hunt for merit scholarships instead, a decidedly different direction for the college search.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If all is well, there is no need to talk to a counselor that has 500 students. It isn't going to move the needle on the senior year college recommendation. In this situation, I would anticipate the counselor forms for college apps being relatively perfunctory, as the high school counselor's primary duties lie outside of college admissions as a practical matter. Moreover, counselors do sometimes change; having a brand new counselor senior year is something that can happen, and is not a big deal.

This. My DD had 3 counselors in 4 years including a brand new one senior year. I found DCUM and books on the college process to be the biggest help in navigating the college search. Only contact DD had with counselors was through email when scheduling classes and to let her know what colleges she was applying to (which she didn’t really have to do since it was all already in naviance)

[Anonymous]

My son met with his guidance counselor once. She told him he should try to get into Rutgers because it's such a great school but he probably wouldn't get in. He told her he hates New Jersey. She continued telling him to try to get in but it'd be a long shot. He never went back to her again. Had a great time at Stanford.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks all. this is helpful.

[Anonymous]

There are a wide variety of answers, and a lot depends on the size of the school. The previous answers are true of large public schools, but my DC, who is a Senior at a small private, has met with his advisor almost weekly leading up to the EA deadline. She also had open office hours during the summer prior to the Senior year and after school this fall to work on applications.

[Anonymous]

Then how do these counselors write letters of recommendation when they never talk to the kid. Every college my son is looking at wants a letter from the counselor. He is a sophomore but I said "guess you better get to know him" I'm just not sure, how.

[Anonymous]

HS Advisor?

Zero.

College Guidance?

Once when they were assigned at the end of junior year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son met with his guidance counselor once. She told him he should try to get into Rutgers because it's such a great school but he probably wouldn't get in. He told her he hates New Jersey. She continued telling him to try to get in but it'd be a long shot. He never went back to her again. Had a great time at Stanford.