How to respond when your own relatives don't take your job seriously?

[Anonymous]

I work as a tour guide. I travel around with tour groups, mainly retired people, the boomer generation.

I gave up working as an executive assistant 10 years ago to do this. I get to see a lot of interesting places and I enjoy what I do. I'm good at it too. My husband thinks it's great.

My own relatives think it sounds fun but they don't see it as a serious job.. Most of my cousins have 'serious' jobs, like management consultant, veterinarian, physiotherapist, bank manager, etc. They make more money than I do, and they're all younger than me.

The money isn't great but I love my job.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. Your job sounds amazing and also very fulfilling for you, which is more than most people can say. Nobody has the right to decide whether someone else’s job is important or not. Your job sounds like it not only brings joy to you but to others as well. Keep enjoying and try not to let anyone else bring you down. Most people I know are not satisfied with their jobs, whether society deems their jobs important or not. Maybe just say that you love your job the next time someone comments about it.

[Anonymous]

At least you have a job. I was on track to get a PhD and do scientific research, but life took a different turn (my first child was born with special needs). My husband and in-laws are all bankers/vets/doctors, and interestingly they are the most understanding, probably because they have nothing to prove and are fine with other people doing their own thing. My own family has a collective chip on its shoulder and makes remarks on when I am going to get a job, and what a shame it is that I only received a MS. Not helpful at all.

[Anonymous]

Stop seeking approval and validation from your family and enjoy your job. I have a serious job and my family doesn't acknowledge my accomplishments because they don't understand what I do. My sibling has a job that doesn't require a college degree but they give them all the praise.

[Anonymous]

Thanks all.

My cousins are fine. It's mostly my aunts and uncles, they like to boast about their children's high incomes. One of my aunts thinks it's unfair that my husband is at home on his own when I'm away with my tour groups and that he has to cook and do the laundry himself LOL.

They also seem to think it's a younger person's job, something you do when you're out of college before you start a more serious career.

Anyway, I'll just keep enjoying what I do. I have no plans to switch jobs.

[Anonymous]

You can't respond in a way that will convince them. Just be happy with yourself and ignore them.

I'm a high school teacher and my dad is incredibly disappointed by this. My two siblings absorbed his attitude long ago, and their "jokes" about my "loser job" continue into our adulthood. Their attitude isn't unusual, judging by what I see posted here. But I'm happy and find my job fulfilling. When one of them makes a crack about my job, I now cut the conversation short and end it. That's the best I can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop seeking approval and validation from your family and enjoy your job. I have a serious job and my family doesn't acknowledge my accomplishments because they don't understand what I do. My sibling has a job that doesn't require a college degree but they give them all the praise.

Ha this is my life too

OP, just ignore and disengage. It sucks, I know.

[Anonymous]

I would stop talking about work and limit contact if they can’t be nice. I’d also never give them free tours or advice about where to go if they visit a new place you’re familiar with. A-holes don’t get free perks. I also have what most of my family consider a hobby job, but I’m good at it and it makes my clients happier. No perks or benefits for a-holes though; no free advice from me anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry OP. Your job sounds amazing and also very fulfilling for you, which is more than most people can say. Nobody has the right to decide whether someone else’s job is important or not. Your job sounds like it not only brings joy to you but to others as well. Keep enjoying and try not to let anyone else bring you down. Most people I know are not satisfied with their jobs, whether society deems their jobs important or not. Maybe just say that you love your job the next time someone comments about it.

+1

[Anonymous]

Most jobs aren't serious jobs. It's not a serious job. Who cares you enjoy what you do, and your husband has no complaints. forget about them, and as pp said don't share your travel perks with the naysayers.

[Anonymous]

OP, you can't argue people into valuing you or what you can do, just like you can't argue them into being attracted to you. The most you can do is be calm, non-defensive, and supremely confident in yourself, and let the chips fall where they may.

But you can't force or convince them. Sometimes people even see that as weakness and snub you for it. It doesn't help. Just be really good at what you do, know it, and come at life from a center of that knowledge.

This is going to be a bit sappy, but there's phrasing from a novel I really like: "Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself ... Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will."

I find it a comfort, sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Just repeat ad nauseam, with a smile, "I love my job. We're very happy with our life." And change the subject.
If it helps, remind yourself that your relatives love you and are expressing concern, but it's none of their business, really.

[Anonymous]

Your relatives are being rude, but my feeling is that you're being a bit greedy wanting to have a fun job and ALSO be taken seriously. It seems like in some ways you've departed from your family's values but still want their approval, and you can't have it both ways. I think you just have to accept that they will never take you seriously.

[Anonymous]

Tell them your job is just a means to get money to invest. Plus, you like it. Start putting 10% into crypto and then tell everyone you're an investor.

[Anonymous]

Hugs, OP and congratulations on your career change!

I was a SAHM for a very long time then got offered a part time job with an organization in which I’d previously only volunteered. Truly happened overnight. My ILs couldn’t be less interested. I think they asked me once what the organization does and made their own assumptions. I recently received a huge promotion and although same company, I’m not sure they have the faintest idea what my job entails or care very much.

Odd because for years (as a SAHM) I had to hear all about all of the “working moms” they knew and how these moms “had to work” or “chose to work” so they could provide fabulous whatevers for their families. Implication was I was lying about at home squandering DH money.

I believe jealousy is the explanation here for both of us, OP.