Curfew for HS junior

[Anonymous]

My teen is starting to go out with friends more and I’m having to figure out what curfew should be for the first time. He’s a responsible good kid and I trust him but he has a new group of friends that I don’t know. Apparently, their parents let them stay out much later than I’m comfortable with so trying to get a sense of what is reasonable on the weekends. If he’s driving, he has a midnight curfew and I see no reason for it to be later when he’s not, unless it’s for a particular reason we discuss ahead of time. Curious what others allow.

[Anonymous]

We don’t give a blanket curfew. The kids have to come tell us what they want to do, who’ll be there when they think it’s reasonable to get home, and we discuss from there. Could be 10:30, could be the next morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t give a blanket curfew. The kids have to come tell us what they want to do, who’ll be there when they think it’s reasonable to get home, and we discuss from there. Could be 10:30, could be the next morning.

This is a little too free for a junior in HS.

[Anonymous]

I’m the same with no curfew.

They must tell me where they are and what time they will be “home” somewhere.

I expect to know by 11pm the plan.

In the 2 years of junior/senior year I would say they were home by 11 90% of the time, 12 9% of the time and 12-1:30 a handful of times.

They slept at a friends (not a girls house or a house with girls) once a month.

They have a unlimited Uber account and MUST us it if their driver ever has even a sip of alcohol… which they did about 10 times in the 2 years.

[Anonymous]

His curfew is as late as I can stay up which is around 11 pm these days. I'm driving so I decide when to pick him up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teen is starting to go out with friends more and I’m having to figure out what curfew should be for the first time. He’s a responsible good kid and I trust him but he has a new group of friends that I don’t know. Apparently, their parents let them stay out much later than I’m comfortable with so trying to get a sense of what is reasonable on the weekends. If he’s driving, he has a midnight curfew and I see no reason for it to be later when he’s not, unless it’s for a particular reason we discuss ahead of time. Curious what others allow.

They really shouldn't h be going out with delta variant wait till everyone gets boosters

[Anonymous]

Complete aside - the responses are fine by the way - but I cannot emphasize enough that kids in high school need to learn basic first aid and excessive drinking/drug use responses. They and their friends can be fine, but they can be somewhere and see something, and can really be a huge help.

Last night our kid was at a party and a drunk guy punched a window badly cutting his arm. 911 called of course - exactly the type of situation where no one gets in trouble because we very much want kids to call 911. A big deep cut on the arm - he grabbed pillow cases to staunch blood flow, and concluded pretty quickly he had to tie a tourniquet - for the first time since Boy Scout first aid. EMS and Police afterword were impressed (he hadn’t been drinking so easier to be impressed with a kid who did basic first aid.). We found out today - Kid was stabilized then transferred to a city hospital with a night surgical team to sew him up, but will eventually be okay save for a huge scar. Apparently it is true that if you get shot or stabbed (or very badly cut) you want to go to a city hospital where they are used to dealing with the trauma and have staffing for it 24 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen is starting to go out with friends more and I’m having to figure out what curfew should be for the first time. He’s a responsible good kid and I trust him but he has a new group of friends that I don’t know. Apparently, their parents let them stay out much later than I’m comfortable with so trying to get a sense of what is reasonable on the weekends. If he’s driving, he has a midnight curfew and I see no reason for it to be later when he’s not, unless it’s for a particular reason we discuss ahead of time. Curious what others allow.

They really shouldn't h be going out with delta variant wait till everyone gets boosters

You’re crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t give a blanket curfew. The kids have to come tell us what they want to do, who’ll be there when they think it’s reasonable to get home, and we discuss from there. Could be 10:30, could be the next morning.

This is a little too free for a junior in HS.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don’t give a blanket curfew. The kids have to come tell us what they want to do, who’ll be there when they think it’s reasonable to get home, and we discuss from there. Could be 10:30, could be the next morning.

This, except he needs to be home after an event, or be in someone's home after an event, at a reasonable hour. That's midnight in my house. If he's coming home the next morning, that means I know whose house he crashed at and I know he got there at a reasonable hour (and that the parents there are OK with the time kids come home). They seem to be coming home by midnight most of the time (this is not school nights, where I still insist he's in by about 9:30).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t give a blanket curfew. The kids have to come tell us what they want to do, who’ll be there when they think it’s reasonable to get home, and we discuss from there. Could be 10:30, could be the next morning.

This is a little too free for a junior in HS.

NP This was the guidelines for me. As long as my mom had an idea where I was going/doing and when I’d be back, no problem. If the time was going to change dramatically, she just wanted a heads up. I was also a kid who could be trusted not to get into trouble, but I could have. If I broke that trust, I would’ve been leashed.

[Anonymous]

For non-school events, my kids need to be home by 8PM on weekdays and 10pm on weekends. I will grant waivers for specific activities but those have to be discussed in advance. I'm not terribly strict but the 8/10pm curfew is the opening negotiating time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don’t give a blanket curfew. The kids have to come tell us what they want to do, who’ll be there when they think it’s reasonable to get home, and we discuss from there. Could be 10:30, could be the next morning.

This is a little too free for a junior in HS.

+1

To me, this seems less free than a blanket curfew and they don’t have to give me any details. I’m not at that point yet.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for all of the helpful replies. I really like the idea of being flexible as long as they clearly communicate their plan. Gives a good incentive to keep us in the loop on what they are doing and with who.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My teen is starting to go out with friends more and I’m having to figure out what curfew should be for the first time. He’s a responsible good kid and I trust him but he has a new group of friends that I don’t know. Apparently, their parents let them stay out much later than I’m comfortable with so trying to get a sense of what is reasonable on the weekends. If he’s driving, he has a midnight curfew and I see no reason for it to be later when he’s not, unless it’s for a particular reason we discuss ahead of time. Curious what others allow.

They really shouldn't h be going out with delta variant wait till everyone gets boosters

Shut up