Question about afternoon child care for kids in school

[Anonymous]

We're losing our part-time nanny who found a full time position. I'm really bummed as we liked her a lot, and more than that, she was connected with the other nannies in the neighborhood and the kids have a tight group of friends that hang out all the time.

We're trying to find someone else, but one option is that DH actually shift his work schedule and be available starting at around 3:30 in the afternoon.

The thing is... I don't think there are many kids in our neighborhood who don't have nannies, and I feel like it would be weird to send DH off with the rest of the crew as the only parent.

We could do after care, but they're on the littler side (4, 6) and like having them home right after school.

Anyway, just curious to hear from other parents what they do with kids this age after school. Am I missing some other options?

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to be gentle, but sounds like a great idea for DH. HE doesn't always have to hang out with the nannies, but there is absolutely nothing wrong if that makes the taking care of kids easier because they are all playing. I would worry less about what people think...

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand at all why you think it is odd for your husband to essentially be a parent.

That said, my kid LOVED aftercare at age 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand at all why you think it is odd for your husband to essentially be a parent.

That said, my kid LOVED aftercare at age 5.

The odd part (for me) is that I don't know any parents and nannies who hang out in a mixed group, and I think it would be a weird dynamic for the other nannies for him to just assume he could join them every day. I mean, they're friends with each other, not with him.

[Anonymous]

Huh? It’s a golden opportunity for dh to have that time with his kids!

[Anonymous]

It would not be odd. I arrange my work schedule so that I am home after school for my 4 year old. We go to playgrounds and she plays with the other kids, sometimes with me as well. It's not weird that most/many of the other kids are with nannies. If anything, I kind of like it when it's just nannies and me because then if the kids play together, the nannies can talk shop, and I can relax a bit and I don't feel pressure to make small talk with other parents, since I spend all day talking at work and it's nice to take a break.

But seriously, this seems like a great set up. Gives DH a chance for one on one time with the kids, saves some money, etc. I have found that after school is a really great time to really learn what is going on with my kid -- she is often quite talkative about stuff that went on at school and this tends to be a time that she likes to have more serious talks and confide in me.

I think you should do it.

[Anonymous]

I hang out with my 6 year old atthe playground after school, and as far as I know it's all parents, but we don't all hang out in a tight knit group. Yes, it's nice to say hi and meet people, but we're there for the kids. Putting your kids in aftercare solely to avoid nannies seems unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

If it is they go to the playground and all the kids play or they all play in the yards because you all live on the same street, easy and not weird. If they rotate and all go to people's houses, he can't invite himself but you cann ask outgoing nanny to mention the transition and let them to know to reach out to dad if they want Larlo to join.

But if I shifted my schedule and could be home, some days I would play with other kids but sometimes I would want special parent time with my kids. I hope your DH would too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is they go to the playground and all the kids play or they all play in the yards because you all live on the same street, easy and not weird. If they rotate and all go to people's houses, he can't invite himself but you cann ask outgoing nanny to mention the transition and let them to know to reach out to dad if they want Larlo to join.

But if I shifted my schedule and could be home, some days I would play with other kids but sometimes I would want special parent time with my kids. I hope your DH would too

Rainy days like today are great for this. I made cookies and had a long discussion about big numbers (like a quadrillion and a googolplex) with my kid and it really cheered me up after a rough work week. Being able to work 7-3:30 is a huge perk.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny ran a weekly playgroup (pre-covid) for my child where they were three moms, one dad, and two nannies who brought the kids over. Why in the world would anyone think that was weird? I was always jealous I couldn’t be there! The parents and nannies and kids had so much fun!

[Anonymous]

Why do you think it would be weird for DH? Seriously question. It’s actually a great opportunity to have fun with his kids.

[Anonymous]

Aftercare at our school is awful. The older kids are with the younger kids without enough to do or any real guidance.

I don’t get the issue with having your kids father take care of them if he can. Sounds wonderful.

[Anonymous]

We did aftercare and my kids all loved it. I think if your DH is going to keep your kids really active then that’s a good alternative. But if he’s going to just leave them to play together and watch TV, they may be happier in daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We did aftercare and my kids all loved it. I think if your DH is going to keep your kids really active then that’s a good alternative. But if he’s going to just leave them to play together and watch TV, they may be happier in daycare.

Letting them play together is not bad. Hours of TV is, of course.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know more about your aftercare option because it can be a great option. At our school it gives us low-ish cost care till 6 pm and the 6 year old does reading practice and both the 6 and 3 year old do tons of activities they love. All their friends do it.

If your DH can easily stop working at that time then it’s a really special opportunity for them to spend time together. But think carefully about how much of a burden it could be on both of your work lives.