Parents of bride and groom - how to handle

[Anonymous]

My child is in the planning stage of their wedding scheduled for next fall. My spouse and I have chosen to give X amount toward the costs and the other parents are doing the same. I am leaning towards giving the bride and groom a check so I am not involved in the day to day deposits for venue, flowers etc. Since it is greater than $10K, I assume I should separate the payment into 2021 and 2022 so I don’t get into an IRS gift paperwork. Am I on the right path or should I handle differently? The couple is very budget conscious so I am not concerned about overspending. Just wondering what others have done.

[Anonymous]

Can you put the money in some type of join account? Then they can just use a debit card to pay for things as they arise?

[Anonymous]

Joint account….that should say

[Anonymous]

The annual exclusion for 2021 is $15k. If the amounts you’re giving is $30k or less, you and your spouse can each give your child a gift of up to $15k without having to file a gift tax return, because gifts are specific to the giver, not the couple, for tax purposes.

If the gift is more than that person in one year, you would have to file a gift tax return, but you don’t actually have to pay gift tax as long as you’re each within the lifetime exclusion (which is around $11 million, I forget the exact number) for all giving.

[Anonymous]

They should just book what it is and you pay the place (florist, venue, photographer, etc.).

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the annual exclusion update. To clarify, the wedding money is coming from 3 sources: DH & I, father, and mother (divorce situation). I intended to advise them to open a joint account for the wedding and then use this account going forward.

[Anonymous]

For the record, if the couple were truly "very budget conscious," and getting equal cash contributions from both sides, gift taxes would not factor into the equation; you can throw a very nice wedding for $30k.

I am not hating on large or luxurious weddings, but I did find that justaposition a little amusing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the annual exclusion update. To clarify, the wedding money is coming from 3 sources: DH & I, father, and mother (divorce situation). I intended to advise them to open a joint account for the wedding and then use this account going forward.

The father, mother, and you are all giving money? I don't really understand how you fit in here, but I wouldn't create more work for them.

If you and your DH can each give $15K this year and each give $15k next year without triggering gift tax, that's $60k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the record, if the couple were truly "very budget conscious," and getting equal cash contributions from both sides, gift taxes would not factor into the equation; you can throw a very nice wedding for $30k.

I am not hating on large or luxurious weddings, but I did find that justaposition a little amusing.

I didn't understand this either.

[Anonymous]

I would have wanted to know how much my parents were offering and the check in advance makes it crystal clear. A joint account does not mean it will not be a gift, so why bother?

For distributing to child: in 2021 you give $15k to child, DH gifts $15k. If you want to gift more this year, give to child's fiancé in 2021. Alternatively, give to child in 2022.

[Anonymous]

There is no gift rules that apply to a wedding gift. You can thank John Gotti Jr.

We all know John Gotti Jr. got around 2.5-3.5 million in wedding gift money. Nice wedding at Garden City Hotel in Long Island

The IRS attended to tax as income. John Gotti Jr. pushed back and won. iRS rules must be applied equally and the IRS never taxes anyone’s wedding gift money either to person giving or receiving. So he kept money

[Anonymous]

Wait how can you be the parent of the bride AND groom?

[Anonymous]

If you are worried about gift paperwork just pay a couple of the big expenses, like caterer & venue rental. It sounds like an expensive wedding so those items should be pretty sizable (for my DDs wedding I think those 2 items were over $40k). I’ve never heard of gift taxes applying to parents hosting a wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For the record, if the couple were truly "very budget conscious," and getting equal cash contributions from both sides, gift taxes would not factor into the equation; you can throw a very nice wedding for $30k.

I am not hating on large or luxurious weddings, but I did find that justaposition a little amusing.

Why don’t you call around to some venues and let us know where?

The pandemic wedding scene is crazy. I had a very inexpensive and lovely wedding (less than $10k) but that was 10 years ago and things have changed a lot and very recently

[Anonymous]

OP here. Myself and my husband are the parents of the groom and we are married. The bride’s parents are divorced and giving money separately. In total, there are 3 sources of money for the reception. As I said in my OP, the bride and groom are very aware that this $$ is their budget and will spend accordingly.

My question revolved around their handling of the bill paying. My thoughts were that they would open a shared checking account (let’s call it the Wedding Account) and pay vendor deposits, and ultimately the final bills, from this one account. This way, it is their budget to manage, not mine.

Just wondering how others have managed their wedding events. I have been married for decades and my parents paid for almost everything.